I'll be back
That was my shout-out to my new hero, Arnold. And to my descent into madness, which is being chronicled as we speak. But now for some real news.
One of my biggest pet peeves (i.e. makes me want to bash my head and/or the head(s) of the person/people closest to me into a wall) is leaving the backdoor open. I hate it. I shout and slam it and occasionally lock out the person responsible for this heinous act. I hate it generally because I hate bugs. Moths especially. And the lone mosquito that will fly in and attack me countless times while I am sleeping innocently.
But tonight, the brain trust (my mother and her gross, sarong-and-nothing-else wearing boyfriend) left the door open and a monster of a grasshopper came in. It was fucking beastly. Obviously, Clare and I screamed and swore some nasty, nasty oaths the first time we were sweetly loitering in the hallway and it leaped over our heads. Unfortunately, it was also one in the morning and my mother doesn't take kindly to being woken up.
Then, about ten minutes ago, I ventured out of the safety of my room only to find The Beast sneaking into my bedroom like a fiend, to pounce on my poor, sleeping face. Clare "got" it first (went near it with a tissue but ran away looking like someone hit her over the head with a mallet of sorts when it moved) so I bravely went in for the kill, flyswatter in hand. Hasta la vista baby and yippee kai yay motherfucker, etc. I am basically the Arnold Schwarzenegger of large insects. Clare disagrees. Pffft. She's just jealous cause I'm a hero.
One of my biggest pet peeves (i.e. makes me want to bash my head and/or the head(s) of the person/people closest to me into a wall) is leaving the backdoor open. I hate it. I shout and slam it and occasionally lock out the person responsible for this heinous act. I hate it generally because I hate bugs. Moths especially. And the lone mosquito that will fly in and attack me countless times while I am sleeping innocently.
But tonight, the brain trust (my mother and her gross, sarong-and-nothing-else wearing boyfriend) left the door open and a monster of a grasshopper came in. It was fucking beastly. Obviously, Clare and I screamed and swore some nasty, nasty oaths the first time we were sweetly loitering in the hallway and it leaped over our heads. Unfortunately, it was also one in the morning and my mother doesn't take kindly to being woken up.
Then, about ten minutes ago, I ventured out of the safety of my room only to find The Beast sneaking into my bedroom like a fiend, to pounce on my poor, sleeping face. Clare "got" it first (went near it with a tissue but ran away looking like someone hit her over the head with a mallet of sorts when it moved) so I bravely went in for the kill, flyswatter in hand. Hasta la vista baby and yippee kai yay motherfucker, etc. I am basically the Arnold Schwarzenegger of large insects. Clare disagrees. Pffft. She's just jealous cause I'm a hero.