I've gotta remember
Thankyou for the problems I don't have.
It seems like most of my time lately has been worrying or fretting over everything that has been overwhelming me since I moved home. I've had quite a few break downs where crying and sleeping seems like the only good choice. I miss the days of being foot-loose and fancy free. Having a "paid" job on top of the "dad" job is quite wearing.
But then again... I gotta remember there are people out there that have it way worse than me.
Doesn't negate the fact that its not fair, and I feel lots of the time like I'm sinking in quick sand....Even though my mind is always racing with everything that I have to do... needs to be done, in the process of.... I've mastered the art of procrastination to the point where its painful.
Brent has been really supportive through all the trials of stress. I know I get very sensitive, and I try to control things that I know I can make a difference in quickly (like having the house neat, etc.) Everything else feels so out of control it just makes me feel ok whenever I know I can make a menial list of things that I can check off as I get them accomplished. Making a list of oh say,
__ Sell BMW
__ Sell Harley
__ Sell Bass Boat
__ Sell Sailboat
__ Pay Compass CC, Pay Sams Club CC, Pay Discover CC, Pay other Visa, Pay Regions CC, Pay Regions Equityline, Pay Loma Alta Fees, Pay Lake Forest fees, Pay Sea Cliff Fees, Pay for Medicine, Pay for cigarettes, Pay for Groceries, Pay for Riviera Utilities, Pay Alltel, Pay Daphne Utilities, ........... etc etc etc...
__ Sell Property (get second appraisal, talk to realtors, get on market)
__ Taxes for 2005 and 2006. (Finding all missing paperwork)
__ Get dad out of his 350,000 dollar DEBT.
That kind of list is way more daunting than say...
__ Dishes
__ Laundry
__ Wash car
__ Wash Foxy
__ Bank Deposit
__ Make Bed
^ ^ ^ I like these ^ ^ ^ types of lists... Where I can get EVERYthing done in one day... sit down, physically exhausted and say... You know what? I got something tangible and good accomplished, and I feel good about myself for it.
Rather than the days that I remember and look at the long daunting list and say.... Fuck.
It seems like most of my time lately has been worrying or fretting over everything that has been overwhelming me since I moved home. I've had quite a few break downs where crying and sleeping seems like the only good choice. I miss the days of being foot-loose and fancy free. Having a "paid" job on top of the "dad" job is quite wearing.
But then again... I gotta remember there are people out there that have it way worse than me.
Doesn't negate the fact that its not fair, and I feel lots of the time like I'm sinking in quick sand....Even though my mind is always racing with everything that I have to do... needs to be done, in the process of.... I've mastered the art of procrastination to the point where its painful.
Brent has been really supportive through all the trials of stress. I know I get very sensitive, and I try to control things that I know I can make a difference in quickly (like having the house neat, etc.) Everything else feels so out of control it just makes me feel ok whenever I know I can make a menial list of things that I can check off as I get them accomplished. Making a list of oh say,
__ Sell BMW
__ Sell Harley
__ Sell Bass Boat
__ Sell Sailboat
__ Pay Compass CC, Pay Sams Club CC, Pay Discover CC, Pay other Visa, Pay Regions CC, Pay Regions Equityline, Pay Loma Alta Fees, Pay Lake Forest fees, Pay Sea Cliff Fees, Pay for Medicine, Pay for cigarettes, Pay for Groceries, Pay for Riviera Utilities, Pay Alltel, Pay Daphne Utilities, ........... etc etc etc...
__ Sell Property (get second appraisal, talk to realtors, get on market)
__ Taxes for 2005 and 2006. (Finding all missing paperwork)
__ Get dad out of his 350,000 dollar DEBT.
That kind of list is way more daunting than say...
__ Dishes
__ Laundry
__ Wash car
__ Wash Foxy
__ Bank Deposit
__ Make Bed
^ ^ ^ I like these ^ ^ ^ types of lists... Where I can get EVERYthing done in one day... sit down, physically exhausted and say... You know what? I got something tangible and good accomplished, and I feel good about myself for it.
Rather than the days that I remember and look at the long daunting list and say.... Fuck.