Countdown to season 10 - season 4(ish) - my early days of fandom, thoughts and recs
I started watching the show from season 4, After School Special, though I've tried watching random episodes before, and seriously tried to watch it from the start in reruns (Wendigo) - and seriously did not connect to it. I chose After School Special cause it sounded like it might remind me of Buffy, the whole "who we were in highs school vs. who we are now", and I was really trying to find something about the show that'd make me care at all, would make me want to watch more.
Pretty early on I found myself wanting to describe Dean as 'chibi', and found it amusing that I'd want to describe the show's rough, tough male lead like that. Honestly, in my early days of watching, I believed Dean was intentionally and officially characterized as "a delicate flower" with a flimsy macho shell no one ever was supposed to take seriously. This probably has something to do with me starting from season 4 rather than 1. I was certain Jensen played him that way knowingly and just - that that was his characterization. I was pretty surprised when I came across a con vid in which Jensen was talking about how much of a tough guy Dean is.
I'd decided not to get into fandom or read fic at all till I finish watching the whole show and have my own opinions (that took a few weeks, perhaps? Season 8 was just starting to air). I was going a bit crazy, wondering about the subtext between Dean and Sam. I knew there was fic out there, so *someone* saw *something* - but, could I be imagining it all? Me, and perhaps that random fic writer out there - or maybe not, maybe it was one of those 'made in fandom ships'? Was I seeing what I thought I was seeing, was I just imagining this? I tried to catch it in screencaps, but it seemed to be more about the movement. I kept taking notes about where scenes were slashy. I remember telling myself that 'even' something like that scene in Playthings was pretty slashy, though probably no one really paid much attention to that. I noticed the Destiel subtextiness, but it didn't shake my world much- I just, you know, smiled for the people out there who must be adoring it. I was not expecting ship wars.
I also watched a few con vids (J2 in sports shirts, linking arms and skipping around on stage?) and the guys seemed so sweet, happy, nice towards fans, and way too clean cut, and I was telling myself - no. I am not getting into another RPS fandom. Leave that for One Direction fans, I am not. And then Misha was cute too, and I grumbled and stood my ground.
Oh, and I also considered Jensen way way too much of a WB/ CW pretty boy, and I didn't get why anyone would find Misha attractive at all, and it took me time to realize people do, and Jared I was just vaguely loyal towards cause he was Dean on Gilmore Girls and was cute there.
The first J2 fic I read was an AU, but I wasn't used to this convention. It wasn't very well written, and there wasn't much of an exposition, so I spent the first half of the fic going - why the fuck would Jensen try to pick up guys online, give them his real name, just meet them randomly with no thought about his celebrity status?
Do you also feel like season 4 is in a somewhat different genre?
I loved season 4. I still feel season 4-5 are very different from seasons 1-3 in vibe and style, not just in storylines. It feels like a different genre somehow. More like Buffy, yes. Less... manly desolate isolated "the world burned down, and ground is salted" "there is nothing in the world but you" more... fluffy, relatable, er, saturated filters? For all they have so many problems, it's just - it feels. Softer? I wanna say more feminine, somehow? Season 4 more than season 5.
A thing about Cas and Wincest
A while back I was hurt by some cruel stuff some people on Tumblr wrote about Wincest, went looking for anti-Destiel stuff, cause I wanted to see what could have fueled that sort of attitude (besides being anti incest), and couldn't find any (found a little since). I asked people what might fuel that, what I'm not seeing that Wincest fans do, and Balder12 made the very good point that in most Wincest, Cas and the boys' relationship with him are just ignored, while Destiel and Sassy fans constantly have to deal with and acknowledge the other brother. I agree. even of the very little Destiel I've read, I've read some Sam-bashing fic and meta (*sadface*), but I've also read some fic that developed and explored Dean and Sam's reelationship alongside Cas and Dean's, in a way that I found satisfying (as a shipper, for me, the sex and romance aspects of Dean and Sam's relationship are not as important as the rest). I'd like to read more Wincest in which the boys' relationships with Cas are explored. I've hardly ever read any at all. Perhaps it's because we're used to the boys being alone, and it's part of the ship and its epicness. But do we really need them to literally be alone, no other relationship, for themto be together? I've hardly even found Wincestiel in which the different relationships were explored, really.
Fic and podfic recs
You've probably read them all, but in case you haven't.
Fides by Rivkat
This fic is compelling and interesting. I love the exploration of relationships and motivations (for me, this ties into consent).
Iron Hard by veronamay
podfic by heardtheowl
This is. I'm sorry, this is just so hot. It's not even a kink of mine (though Dom Dean is), and this is just. Gnug. The story, and podfic. Yes.
Not Time's Fool by FayJay
Podfic by the author
This is really good. you know how sometimes there's a trope people write based on fandom conventions, perhaps based more on other fic than on canon? And though stories are often good, they're also a little off when you think about canon? And then someone comes along and writes in a way that focuses more on canon characterization? This is a fic like that.
Junkie - a True Story by Candle-beck
and podfic
This is one of Candle-Beck's only stories that are part of the show's very time-specific story arc.
It's (for me) different from most of what I've read, by her, but definitely good as well. She's an amazing writer. She's an amazing writer, and has touched me so much. I never got to tell her that, I kinda wish I ever get to.
The Incestuous Courtship of the Antichrist's Bride by Fleshflutter
and podfic by FayJay
This one I can more comfortable gush about, cause I've read it more recently.
This works for me. Fabulous story, funny, touching, horrifying, just interesting. I love the attention to Jack Kerouac's work *, love the way the angel, the demons, the relationship and the world are portrayed - it's just fuckin' fabulous, ok. I want fic for this fic.
___
*I seriously need someone to talk to about how incredibly close On the Road is to SPN, and Dean is Dean and are you kidding me about Sam and OMG slashy and OMG Kripke must have reread the first chapter before he sat down to write the pilot of something!
Pretty early on I found myself wanting to describe Dean as 'chibi', and found it amusing that I'd want to describe the show's rough, tough male lead like that. Honestly, in my early days of watching, I believed Dean was intentionally and officially characterized as "a delicate flower" with a flimsy macho shell no one ever was supposed to take seriously. This probably has something to do with me starting from season 4 rather than 1. I was certain Jensen played him that way knowingly and just - that that was his characterization. I was pretty surprised when I came across a con vid in which Jensen was talking about how much of a tough guy Dean is.
I'd decided not to get into fandom or read fic at all till I finish watching the whole show and have my own opinions (that took a few weeks, perhaps? Season 8 was just starting to air). I was going a bit crazy, wondering about the subtext between Dean and Sam. I knew there was fic out there, so *someone* saw *something* - but, could I be imagining it all? Me, and perhaps that random fic writer out there - or maybe not, maybe it was one of those 'made in fandom ships'? Was I seeing what I thought I was seeing, was I just imagining this? I tried to catch it in screencaps, but it seemed to be more about the movement. I kept taking notes about where scenes were slashy. I remember telling myself that 'even' something like that scene in Playthings was pretty slashy, though probably no one really paid much attention to that. I noticed the Destiel subtextiness, but it didn't shake my world much- I just, you know, smiled for the people out there who must be adoring it. I was not expecting ship wars.
I also watched a few con vids (J2 in sports shirts, linking arms and skipping around on stage?) and the guys seemed so sweet, happy, nice towards fans, and way too clean cut, and I was telling myself - no. I am not getting into another RPS fandom. Leave that for One Direction fans, I am not. And then Misha was cute too, and I grumbled and stood my ground.
Oh, and I also considered Jensen way way too much of a WB/ CW pretty boy, and I didn't get why anyone would find Misha attractive at all, and it took me time to realize people do, and Jared I was just vaguely loyal towards cause he was Dean on Gilmore Girls and was cute there.
The first J2 fic I read was an AU, but I wasn't used to this convention. It wasn't very well written, and there wasn't much of an exposition, so I spent the first half of the fic going - why the fuck would Jensen try to pick up guys online, give them his real name, just meet them randomly with no thought about his celebrity status?
Do you also feel like season 4 is in a somewhat different genre?
I loved season 4. I still feel season 4-5 are very different from seasons 1-3 in vibe and style, not just in storylines. It feels like a different genre somehow. More like Buffy, yes. Less... manly desolate isolated "the world burned down, and ground is salted" "there is nothing in the world but you" more... fluffy, relatable, er, saturated filters? For all they have so many problems, it's just - it feels. Softer? I wanna say more feminine, somehow? Season 4 more than season 5.
A thing about Cas and Wincest
A while back I was hurt by some cruel stuff some people on Tumblr wrote about Wincest, went looking for anti-Destiel stuff, cause I wanted to see what could have fueled that sort of attitude (besides being anti incest), and couldn't find any (found a little since). I asked people what might fuel that, what I'm not seeing that Wincest fans do, and Balder12 made the very good point that in most Wincest, Cas and the boys' relationship with him are just ignored, while Destiel and Sassy fans constantly have to deal with and acknowledge the other brother. I agree. even of the very little Destiel I've read, I've read some Sam-bashing fic and meta (*sadface*), but I've also read some fic that developed and explored Dean and Sam's reelationship alongside Cas and Dean's, in a way that I found satisfying (as a shipper, for me, the sex and romance aspects of Dean and Sam's relationship are not as important as the rest). I'd like to read more Wincest in which the boys' relationships with Cas are explored. I've hardly ever read any at all. Perhaps it's because we're used to the boys being alone, and it's part of the ship and its epicness. But do we really need them to literally be alone, no other relationship, for themto be together? I've hardly even found Wincestiel in which the different relationships were explored, really.
Fic and podfic recs
You've probably read them all, but in case you haven't.
Fides by Rivkat
This fic is compelling and interesting. I love the exploration of relationships and motivations (for me, this ties into consent).
Iron Hard by veronamay
podfic by heardtheowl
This is. I'm sorry, this is just so hot. It's not even a kink of mine (though Dom Dean is), and this is just. Gnug. The story, and podfic. Yes.
Not Time's Fool by FayJay
Podfic by the author
This is really good. you know how sometimes there's a trope people write based on fandom conventions, perhaps based more on other fic than on canon? And though stories are often good, they're also a little off when you think about canon? And then someone comes along and writes in a way that focuses more on canon characterization? This is a fic like that.
Junkie - a True Story by Candle-beck
and podfic
This is one of Candle-Beck's only stories that are part of the show's very time-specific story arc.
It's (for me) different from most of what I've read, by her, but definitely good as well. She's an amazing writer. She's an amazing writer, and has touched me so much. I never got to tell her that, I kinda wish I ever get to.
The Incestuous Courtship of the Antichrist's Bride by Fleshflutter
and podfic by FayJay
This one I can more comfortable gush about, cause I've read it more recently.
This works for me. Fabulous story, funny, touching, horrifying, just interesting. I love the attention to Jack Kerouac's work *, love the way the angel, the demons, the relationship and the world are portrayed - it's just fuckin' fabulous, ok. I want fic for this fic.
___
*I seriously need someone to talk to about how incredibly close On the Road is to SPN, and Dean is Dean and are you kidding me about Sam and OMG slashy and OMG Kripke must have reread the first chapter before he sat down to write the pilot of something!