woooooooo... marriage?!
gah. me and ethan have discussed it a few times over the past year or so, but I still totally didn't see it coming as something that would ever happen.
I've even told people that it would never ever happen.
and now I'm sitting here with an engagement ring on my finger and my head spinning with clothes and venues and decorations and flowers and vows and handfastings and... I mean. shitake mushrooms, man.
even though I got all silly when we first decided to go for it (and even sillier when he bought me my ring), I'm. sort of realizing that I have NO FUCKEN CLUE WHAT I'M DOING.
weddings are freaking complicated!
I tried signing up with a wedding planning site, so we could try to figure this out play-by-play, and it's all like,
8-9 months: makeup trial.
and I started realizing there's no way we can use traditional planning methods because most of this crap is just rediculous to us. I'm not going to make everyone match. I mean, we're rocking a fairly monochromatic colorscheme so far (mainly blacks, whites, and greys), and we have a light skulls and stripes theme, but we're not making everyone wear identical suits or identical dresses, because all of them are very different personalities in varying sizes, and we want everyone to be able to be themselves and be comfortable.
when Israel wanted a bowtie, I balked for a second, but hey, again, he's got to be himself. and the bowtie is actually stupid cute.
but now that it's getting closer and closer to the day (which we tentatively want to be dec. 6th), I'm starting to get really stressed. I mean, granted, it's an unconventional wedding, but. still. I have under a month to figure this out.
my mom is a bit better than I expected her to be. I told her about the wedding in public, to totally remove the possibility of freak-out. I know she doesn't approve, but at least instead of being like, "oh god, laura, no..." she's sort of trying to be verbally supportive (saying dresses I like are cute and so forth).
however everytime something goes wrong, instead of being like "oh, you can make it work" she's like, "you don't have enough time, you can't afford this, maybe you shouldn't try" which is getting wearing when I'm doing my best to try and keep myself upbeat as this is getting weirder and weirder.
oh yeah, and I was talking about inviting my dad since, you know, he is my dad, and I do love him, and kind of want him to see me get married, even though I don't want him to sit in the front or walk me down the isle (which is a patriarchal tradition that wouldn't appeal to me if I did get along with my dad), and there was a point in time where my mom wanted me and my dad to be on speaking terms, but apparently that time has passed, because she got wicked pissed about me wanting to invite him and told me a horrible story from my childhood that I didn't know about. so now I would totally think of that if he came to the wedding, and god, that is the last thing I want to think of on my wedding day.
which also throws out my hopes to see if he could loan us $400 for a deposit on our venue, since the venue we had in mind got booked before we had the money to reserve it.
so, yeah, we have under a month and no venue. yaaay...
god. but at least I have cake and music lined up!
and the invitations designed! if only I had a place and time to put on them.
poop.
oh well. even with the stress, I'm still wicked excited. ocassionally anxious, nervous and scattered, but still quite thrilled that our little family is going to be official and for keeps.
and that my "I can't ever know what's going to happen" boyfriend finally came out and admitted "I can't imagine my life without you and I don't ever want to experience it."
and I realized I felt the same way.
-citris
I've even told people that it would never ever happen.
and now I'm sitting here with an engagement ring on my finger and my head spinning with clothes and venues and decorations and flowers and vows and handfastings and... I mean. shitake mushrooms, man.
even though I got all silly when we first decided to go for it (and even sillier when he bought me my ring), I'm. sort of realizing that I have NO FUCKEN CLUE WHAT I'M DOING.
weddings are freaking complicated!
I tried signing up with a wedding planning site, so we could try to figure this out play-by-play, and it's all like,
8-9 months: makeup trial.
and I started realizing there's no way we can use traditional planning methods because most of this crap is just rediculous to us. I'm not going to make everyone match. I mean, we're rocking a fairly monochromatic colorscheme so far (mainly blacks, whites, and greys), and we have a light skulls and stripes theme, but we're not making everyone wear identical suits or identical dresses, because all of them are very different personalities in varying sizes, and we want everyone to be able to be themselves and be comfortable.
when Israel wanted a bowtie, I balked for a second, but hey, again, he's got to be himself. and the bowtie is actually stupid cute.
but now that it's getting closer and closer to the day (which we tentatively want to be dec. 6th), I'm starting to get really stressed. I mean, granted, it's an unconventional wedding, but. still. I have under a month to figure this out.
my mom is a bit better than I expected her to be. I told her about the wedding in public, to totally remove the possibility of freak-out. I know she doesn't approve, but at least instead of being like, "oh god, laura, no..." she's sort of trying to be verbally supportive (saying dresses I like are cute and so forth).
however everytime something goes wrong, instead of being like "oh, you can make it work" she's like, "you don't have enough time, you can't afford this, maybe you shouldn't try" which is getting wearing when I'm doing my best to try and keep myself upbeat as this is getting weirder and weirder.
oh yeah, and I was talking about inviting my dad since, you know, he is my dad, and I do love him, and kind of want him to see me get married, even though I don't want him to sit in the front or walk me down the isle (which is a patriarchal tradition that wouldn't appeal to me if I did get along with my dad), and there was a point in time where my mom wanted me and my dad to be on speaking terms, but apparently that time has passed, because she got wicked pissed about me wanting to invite him and told me a horrible story from my childhood that I didn't know about. so now I would totally think of that if he came to the wedding, and god, that is the last thing I want to think of on my wedding day.
which also throws out my hopes to see if he could loan us $400 for a deposit on our venue, since the venue we had in mind got booked before we had the money to reserve it.
so, yeah, we have under a month and no venue. yaaay...
god. but at least I have cake and music lined up!
and the invitations designed! if only I had a place and time to put on them.
poop.
oh well. even with the stress, I'm still wicked excited. ocassionally anxious, nervous and scattered, but still quite thrilled that our little family is going to be official and for keeps.
and that my "I can't ever know what's going to happen" boyfriend finally came out and admitted "I can't imagine my life without you and I don't ever want to experience it."
and I realized I felt the same way.
-citris