pepper;
we are. overwhelmed with past. (and yet so oblivious to it, so wrapped up, so cocooned.)
there are things that some find calming, like the sea and the sky and deep melancholy music (gorecki by lamb, say, or the moonlight sonata). i am never, ever tranquilised by these things; they evoke within me huge emotional swirls, storms; they unsettle me, they awaken me, they make me want to cry run sing scream! // rainstorms, all music. (i cannot fathom the concept of 'background music' - how can there be such a thing?) everything i have ever created has taken root in these intense, emotional reactions; everything i have ever done, all my aspirations, all are linked to this open breathing lusty swell. am i ever tranquilised? i feel as though i'm air and impulse and hypertension, the click and crackle of synapses ablaze.
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