Short Translation Attempt: Deadlock by Aida Saki [4 sentences]
Way, way beyond my skill level, but as I can’t find the 3 novels in the series translated into English I thought I’d try and translate a few sentences of the yaoi novel 'Deadlock' [v. 1] by Aida Saki.
Lots of poetic license was used in attempting this small translation, along with lack of grammatical knowledge, hair pulling and gratuitous use of a dictionary. I can really make a meal of just about anything *sigh*
If anyone with the right skill set stumbles across this and feels bored enough to help out let me know where I went wrong :-)
I may try this again years down the road if I ever learn anything resembling a Japanese vocabulary. Damn my curiosity! Somebody translate it already… Please!
Deadlock v. 1 by Aida Saki
Japanese ---> English
足音が近ずいてくる。暗闇の中に横わりながら, ユウトは耳を澄ました。足音に混ざつてカチセカチセという金属の擦わ合う音も聞き取わる。
ashioto ga chika zui te kuru. kurayami no naka ni yoku wari nagara, Yuuto ha mimi [w]o su mashita. ashioto ni ma zatsu te kacha kacha toiu kinzoku no su[ru] wa au oto mo ki[ku] ki to[ru/ri] waru.
The sound of footsteps grew stronger as they approached. Yuuto schooled his features into a calm expression as he lay in the dark listening. He was captivated by the sound of the clanging gutter rattle of careless footsteps mingling with grating metal.
NB:
1. ユウト - Yuuto is the name of the main character.
2. カチャカチャ [kacha kacha] - sound effect, I think. Footsteps on metal. I couldn't think of anything good in English so tried to described the effect instead.
3. waru got missed out, I’ve seen it before in a manga title, meaning ‘bad’ or something similar, but not sure how it's used here.
I got stuck again on sentence 4:
Original Text:
もしかてと気待ちわはよつたが、期待するのわよせと強く言い聞かせた。
Hiragana/Rōmaji
もしかて と いききち わ はよ つ た が、 きたいする の わよ せと つよくい いきかせ た。
Moshikashite to kimochi wa haya tsu ta ga, kitaisuru no wa yo seto tsuyokui ikikaseta.
Attempted Translations:
Perhaps it was the earlier air of expectation, but this could be the critical moment to act!
Perhaps it was just his earlier mood of expectation, but something warned him that this could be the critical moment.
Variation:
Perhaps it was his earlier mood, but there was a strong air of expectation that this would be the critical moment to act!
Lots of poetic license was used in attempting this small translation, along with lack of grammatical knowledge, hair pulling and gratuitous use of a dictionary. I can really make a meal of just about anything *sigh*
If anyone with the right skill set stumbles across this and feels bored enough to help out let me know where I went wrong :-)
I may try this again years down the road if I ever learn anything resembling a Japanese vocabulary. Damn my curiosity! Somebody translate it already… Please!
Deadlock v. 1 by Aida Saki
Japanese ---> English
足音が近ずいてくる。暗闇の中に横わりながら, ユウトは耳を澄ました。足音に混ざつてカチセカチセという金属の擦わ合う音も聞き取わる。
ashioto ga chika zui te kuru. kurayami no naka ni yoku wari nagara, Yuuto ha mimi [w]o su mashita. ashioto ni ma zatsu te kacha kacha toiu kinzoku no su[ru] wa au oto mo ki[ku] ki to[ru/ri] waru.
The sound of footsteps grew stronger as they approached. Yuuto schooled his features into a calm expression as he lay in the dark listening. He was captivated by the sound of the clanging gutter rattle of careless footsteps mingling with grating metal.
NB:
1. ユウト - Yuuto is the name of the main character.
2. カチャカチャ [kacha kacha] - sound effect, I think. Footsteps on metal. I couldn't think of anything good in English so tried to described the effect instead.
3. waru got missed out, I’ve seen it before in a manga title, meaning ‘bad’ or something similar, but not sure how it's used here.
I got stuck again on sentence 4:
Original Text:
もしかてと気待ちわはよつたが、期待するのわよせと強く言い聞かせた。
Hiragana/Rōmaji
もしかて と いききち わ はよ つ た が、 きたいする の わよ せと つよくい いきかせ た。
Moshikashite to kimochi wa haya tsu ta ga, kitaisuru no wa yo seto tsuyokui ikikaseta.
Attempted Translations:
Perhaps it was the earlier air of expectation, but this could be the critical moment to act!
Perhaps it was just his earlier mood of expectation, but something warned him that this could be the critical moment.
Variation:
Perhaps it was his earlier mood, but there was a strong air of expectation that this would be the critical moment to act!