come break me down...
SELF-SABOTAGE.
this is me. this is what I do to myself. this is why I am stuck!
...finally a definition.
I sabotage anything that I know I cannot make perfect. If it won't be perfect, I purposely ruin it.
I sabotage relationships when I finally get the person to like me because I fear failure and disappointment.
This is why I am in a chronic state of loneliness.
I've done it to myself.
and when I dig deeper, I realize my self-sabotage all boils down to paranoia.
it's a fear of failure, AND success.
I have no idea why I am like this, but the closest thing I can come up with is that I am:
a) so afraid of failure so I ensure that I will fail, thereby saving myself the anxiety of worrying over whether I will or won't
b) afraid of sucess/actually getting these things done and being forced to move on to the next step.
help.
this is me. this is what I do to myself. this is why I am stuck!
...finally a definition.
I sabotage anything that I know I cannot make perfect. If it won't be perfect, I purposely ruin it.
I sabotage relationships when I finally get the person to like me because I fear failure and disappointment.
This is why I am in a chronic state of loneliness.
I've done it to myself.
and when I dig deeper, I realize my self-sabotage all boils down to paranoia.
it's a fear of failure, AND success.
I have no idea why I am like this, but the closest thing I can come up with is that I am:
a) so afraid of failure so I ensure that I will fail, thereby saving myself the anxiety of worrying over whether I will or won't
b) afraid of sucess/actually getting these things done and being forced to move on to the next step.
help.