goodbye to sleep.

Dec 05, 2006 04:49

so she says I am a different one .. someone to confirm she is there and she is real... she says she sees herself in me ( Read more... )

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rockthecorner December 5 2006, 06:41:33 UTC
like i said before, there is only one way to find out.

what do you honestly have to lose? what do any of us have to lose? we fall for people and we get hurt.. or we don't. there is honestly no way of telling. we've all been fooled. but look at all of the love out there. it's beautiful. you know i'm a sucker for a boy with a crooked smile who says the kinds of things i want to hear. and you know, despite my best efforts, i usually wind up getting sucked in. and then i thought i was in love for awhile and gave him everything. and here i am, on my own again. but wiser. and maybe the next time it'll be it. or the next time after that. it's out there somewhere.

don't pass up something that could make you happy from the inside out just because you're afraid. too many people do that and regret it later. it's better to have the experience of truly caring for someone on that level, even if it doesn't last. i know you've wanted this for awhile. how many nights did you and i sit up talking about how fucking badly we wanted to have someone adore us that way? well, love, it sounds like it's there..

take
the
plunge.

and fuck what everyone else thinks, you deserve to be happy.

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citizenfrank December 5 2006, 08:28:43 UTC
she wrote this in a letter to me:

She Knows

i wanted..

i want..

i watch the way music moves around your hair. i caught the angles of your face..and started to laugh. It's so hard to look at yourself..and really see who you are. A girl, a lost girl, with bright eyes,and a sad smile. The same expression of youth,of life..of longing to be noticed and forgotten at the same time.

i watched my laundry ..and cried over clean towels..they have a purpose..2 sides to dirty..i envy the clean..to spin on cycle ..but come out dry.. my life is wet,and i have no clean towels.

Did i ever listen, will you ever really listen..hearing is perception,words are just words..definitions are not the truth..looking for salvation just makes me want to never be found..i would be a liar if i told you the truth..i am afraid of you .. because i'm still afraid of myself..seeing you confirms that i'm still alive, and no better than i was..it confirms that the world is flat..and it's people are round..it confirms that raw passion never dies,and suicide lingers at the witching hour.. you confirm that i am myself.. my glory is in a box of cereal, but the toy was taken by the earliest rise. I want to kiss myself, and tell you that it never ends, hold on to innocence..to save the youth, one foot stays. Bind to wrap,as unravel to mind. i want to hold you forever, and never let myself go.

These two selves may one day agree

deconstruct a letter and words we may find..truth will hold up when we jump from the end.. take me out in the rain because my life is wet..spin out the cycle to find my clean towels.

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citizenfrank December 5 2006, 08:29:21 UTC
i just am so lost in all of this carrie ... it makes me physically sick to my stomach ... i wish you were here.

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citizenfrank December 5 2006, 08:32:38 UTC
please PLEASE dont tell zack ... or anyone .. until i know who i am ...

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rockthecorner December 5 2006, 18:08:37 UTC
of course! you know i wouldn't.

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