Fly Away Home - "Omitted" Scene
Warning: sibling incest (no sex; not Wincest)
~~~
Castiel lay awake in bed, unable to find comfort or solace in the downy sheets that did little to ease his mind. Gabriel was going to leave. Gabriel was going to leave. Because he'd sold him out; because he'd gone through his stuff and told John about it. And now he was going to leave for maybe a year. The longest they'd ever been apart.
Even now he could not erase that silent look of hurt his brother had given him as he had packed his bags for his departure in the early morning. Well, what was he supposed to have done? He rolled onto his side and huffed. Let his brother sink into drugs and end up lying stone-dead in some crack house with nothing but a used needle to his name? He shuddered at the image it conjured. He'd do anything to keep him safe; especially if it was from his own disillusioned self. But how could he do that without being hated for it in return? He didn't want Gabriel to hate him. He would not have Gabriel hate him.
Silently, he slipped from under the sheets and sought out his brother in the study John had cleared out for him. The door to the room easily gave way as Castiel gingerly stepped into a dark pool of blues and blacks, all shape shifting and coalescing finally into a jaded figure who lay on the bed like a single pale smear that stood out as though it were a decrepit paper figure in the crushing darkness.
Bare feet titillated nervously as he padded across the fitted carpet towards the narrow bed. Gabriel, having developed the habit of sleeping lightly, stirred at the soft shuffling noise Castiel made as his body dipped the mattress.
"Gabe," he whispered coarsely. "Gabe."
"Mrh…" Gabriel grumbled and pried his eyes open. "Cas?" He propped himself on his elbow. "What are you doing here?"
Castiel sidled up to him and said in a small voice, "I did-didn't mean to… I didn't… uh… I didn't think John would send you away. I'm so sorry, Gabe. I did-didn't mean for this."
Gabriel sighed and firmly collected him in his arms, holding him like that for a while as the crickets composed their midnight sonnets outside in domesticated bushes.
"It's okay, Cas," he said softly into the boy's hair. "You always know when things are getting out of hand; but I don't think I could ever be mad at you even if I tried. Sure, I can get annoyed, pissed even, but mad? Nah. But you sure try your damndest." He chuckled dryly.
"I don't want you to leave." Castiel whined into his brother's neck.
"But you'll have Dean when I'm gone. He's a good kid; a royal pain in the ass, but a good kid. When he wants to be." He stroked Cas's hair back and kissed his forehead; just then a faint remembrance from long ago of his brother cowering in his arms briefly crossed his mind and made him cringe involuntarily.
"But it's not the same." Castiel pouted. "He d-doesn't know me. And I-I-I don't know if I want him to. Well, maybe I do… I don't know anymore." He huffed. "It's just so much easier with you, and now you're leaving." A sob stuttered in his throat.
Gabriel ran a hand through his hair and hushed him. Blood rushed in a throbbing rhythm as he hooked a tentative finger under Cas's chin and lifted his face up. In the muted twilight, he could make out wide blue eyes that stared back at him in unvoiced need and fear, both dancing a dangerous tango that refused to end and was threatening to burn him out soon.
Any hint of hesitation was now gone as Gabriel lowered his head a placed a tender, chaste kiss on his brother's lips to silence the worry, like he'd always done before. Cas pressed into the kiss with a sigh, as though he'd waited so long for this, but could never have brought himself to admit it. He was never good at lying, even less so to himself. "Mother" had always been nothing more than a concept to Cas; a symbol that stood for affection and care; and if his mother hadn't wanted him, then he'd find the concept elsewhere. Gabriel was all of that: mother, father, brother, lover… He made the concept real. And now that he was going to go away, he couldn't bring himself to let go. He crushed his body against his brother's, slamming their mouths together in a rougher, more desperate embrace. Tongues clashed violently as Castiel wrapped his legs around Gabriel, rolling their bodies over and further tangling the sheets around them. His lips burned as he bit and marked his brother's soft mouth, claiming, anchoring him to his body forever. It was intoxicating; he never wanted it to end.
Gabriel keened into his mouth like he was finally allowed to touch; to feel his brother all around him, safe; his. They owned each other and belonged to no-one else.
"Don't leave me," Castiel breathed along his jaw.
"I'm not leaving you, Cas," said Gabriel as he nuzzled his temple. "I'm coming back. It's only leaving if you never come back."
He took his brother's face in hand, stroking a tear away with a thumb, and hushed him as he chased away an anxious frown with a kiss to the brow and another to the lips. This time it was softer, gentler; it was a nightly reassurance that frantically cleaved at both their skins.
Elated sighs and aching touches sang throughout the dead of night as the two brothers held each other wrapped in breathless promises born of years of heartache and fragile dreams. Slowly, discreetly, their disenchantment with life began to peel away.
---
The crisp summer's sun found a young boy absently stroking the wrinkles of an empty mattress that yawned in the wake of its recently departed lover.
The boy curled in on himself and tried vainly to grasp the memory of a soothing warmth that had cradled him to sleep the night before.
---
A/N: So... hm, yeah. I had this little idea in the back of my mind that I promised my moral guardian I wouldn't indulge in. Well... I can never make up my mind and stick to it. I'm actually thinking of taking it further after Gabriel returns from the Police Academy. Because you can't just sweep a moment like this under the carpet forever and never bring it up again. Should I? Hm... I think I should... My god, I'm surely going to Hell.
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~~~
Castiel lay awake in bed, unable to find comfort or solace in the downy sheets that did little to ease his mind. Gabriel was going to leave. Gabriel was going to leave. Because he'd sold him out; because he'd gone through his stuff and told John about it. And now he was going to leave for maybe a year. The longest they'd ever been apart.
Even now he could not erase that silent look of hurt his brother had given him as he had packed his bags for his departure in the early morning. Well, what was he supposed to have done? He rolled onto his side and huffed. Let his brother sink into drugs and end up lying stone-dead in some crack house with nothing but a used needle to his name? He shuddered at the image it conjured. He'd do anything to keep him safe; especially if it was from his own disillusioned self. But how could he do that without being hated for it in return? He didn't want Gabriel to hate him. He would not have Gabriel hate him.
Silently, he slipped from under the sheets and sought out his brother in the study John had cleared out for him. The door to the room easily gave way as Castiel gingerly stepped into a dark pool of blues and blacks, all shape shifting and coalescing finally into a jaded figure who lay on the bed like a single pale smear that stood out as though it were a decrepit paper figure in the crushing darkness.
Bare feet titillated nervously as he padded across the fitted carpet towards the narrow bed. Gabriel, having developed the habit of sleeping lightly, stirred at the soft shuffling noise Castiel made as his body dipped the mattress.
"Gabe," he whispered coarsely. "Gabe."
"Mrh…" Gabriel grumbled and pried his eyes open. "Cas?" He propped himself on his elbow. "What are you doing here?"
Castiel sidled up to him and said in a small voice, "I did-didn't mean to… I didn't… uh… I didn't think John would send you away. I'm so sorry, Gabe. I did-didn't mean for this."
Gabriel sighed and firmly collected him in his arms, holding him like that for a while as the crickets composed their midnight sonnets outside in domesticated bushes.
"It's okay, Cas," he said softly into the boy's hair. "You always know when things are getting out of hand; but I don't think I could ever be mad at you even if I tried. Sure, I can get annoyed, pissed even, but mad? Nah. But you sure try your damndest." He chuckled dryly.
"I don't want you to leave." Castiel whined into his brother's neck.
"But you'll have Dean when I'm gone. He's a good kid; a royal pain in the ass, but a good kid. When he wants to be." He stroked Cas's hair back and kissed his forehead; just then a faint remembrance from long ago of his brother cowering in his arms briefly crossed his mind and made him cringe involuntarily.
"But it's not the same." Castiel pouted. "He d-doesn't know me. And I-I-I don't know if I want him to. Well, maybe I do… I don't know anymore." He huffed. "It's just so much easier with you, and now you're leaving." A sob stuttered in his throat.
Gabriel ran a hand through his hair and hushed him. Blood rushed in a throbbing rhythm as he hooked a tentative finger under Cas's chin and lifted his face up. In the muted twilight, he could make out wide blue eyes that stared back at him in unvoiced need and fear, both dancing a dangerous tango that refused to end and was threatening to burn him out soon.
Any hint of hesitation was now gone as Gabriel lowered his head a placed a tender, chaste kiss on his brother's lips to silence the worry, like he'd always done before. Cas pressed into the kiss with a sigh, as though he'd waited so long for this, but could never have brought himself to admit it. He was never good at lying, even less so to himself. "Mother" had always been nothing more than a concept to Cas; a symbol that stood for affection and care; and if his mother hadn't wanted him, then he'd find the concept elsewhere. Gabriel was all of that: mother, father, brother, lover… He made the concept real. And now that he was going to go away, he couldn't bring himself to let go. He crushed his body against his brother's, slamming their mouths together in a rougher, more desperate embrace. Tongues clashed violently as Castiel wrapped his legs around Gabriel, rolling their bodies over and further tangling the sheets around them. His lips burned as he bit and marked his brother's soft mouth, claiming, anchoring him to his body forever. It was intoxicating; he never wanted it to end.
Gabriel keened into his mouth like he was finally allowed to touch; to feel his brother all around him, safe; his. They owned each other and belonged to no-one else.
"Don't leave me," Castiel breathed along his jaw.
"I'm not leaving you, Cas," said Gabriel as he nuzzled his temple. "I'm coming back. It's only leaving if you never come back."
He took his brother's face in hand, stroking a tear away with a thumb, and hushed him as he chased away an anxious frown with a kiss to the brow and another to the lips. This time it was softer, gentler; it was a nightly reassurance that frantically cleaved at both their skins.
Elated sighs and aching touches sang throughout the dead of night as the two brothers held each other wrapped in breathless promises born of years of heartache and fragile dreams. Slowly, discreetly, their disenchantment with life began to peel away.
---
The crisp summer's sun found a young boy absently stroking the wrinkles of an empty mattress that yawned in the wake of its recently departed lover.
The boy curled in on himself and tried vainly to grasp the memory of a soothing warmth that had cradled him to sleep the night before.
---
A/N: So... hm, yeah. I had this little idea in the back of my mind that I promised my moral guardian I wouldn't indulge in. Well... I can never make up my mind and stick to it. I'm actually thinking of taking it further after Gabriel returns from the Police Academy. Because you can't just sweep a moment like this under the carpet forever and never bring it up again. Should I? Hm... I think I should... My god, I'm surely going to Hell.
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