steph
I am so tired of not being able to sleep.
I bought some pills last nite at Wal-Mart, but I didn't use them cause I'm not shure how long they last and I wanted to wake up on time this morning (which means I woke up about 45 minutes early). I can't really help it but be so stressed out. Things didn't go my way, so I'm gonna be hard on myself uncontrollably(sp?).
The Background Story:
So, I started living with the Stephanie right before school started. We got really close, really close, really close and things seemed so good, so great for a couple weeks. I thought we were, you know, close enough to be "unofficially dating" but I was wrong, I guess.
So, she went out with this fellow at that work of hers and fell in love.
Basically, what I thought I had, I never did, which was totally my fault because I don't like to open my mouth and be open about love.
That's that, and there's nothing I can do but wait and let time prove everything.
I really, really, really don't want to be so upset over things, but it's just not possible right now not to be upset.
Steph and I talked about it the other day and basically told one another that we both care for one another and really want to be there for each other. She promised that I would not be "kicked aside" and I believe her. That made me feel alot better at the time, but now reality has kicked back in and I still feel regretful about not talking to her earlier about things.
I really wish I could handle things better than I am. I bought some cigarillos last nite and smoked about 5 of them. I hardly ever eat, I hardly ever sleep, things are just so tough right now.
I need someone to be with me, physically, preferably a chick, just to help me get through things right now, but I don't want Steph to think that I'm trying to make her jealous by doing so. Oh yeah, and also, there aren't really any chicks that I know that live around here that I feel comfortable enough with, I don't think, but I'll try my best.
So, I guess that's all for now.
I feel like Morrissey:
-d.
I bought some pills last nite at Wal-Mart, but I didn't use them cause I'm not shure how long they last and I wanted to wake up on time this morning (which means I woke up about 45 minutes early). I can't really help it but be so stressed out. Things didn't go my way, so I'm gonna be hard on myself uncontrollably(sp?).
The Background Story:
So, I started living with the Stephanie right before school started. We got really close, really close, really close and things seemed so good, so great for a couple weeks. I thought we were, you know, close enough to be "unofficially dating" but I was wrong, I guess.
So, she went out with this fellow at that work of hers and fell in love.
Basically, what I thought I had, I never did, which was totally my fault because I don't like to open my mouth and be open about love.
That's that, and there's nothing I can do but wait and let time prove everything.
I really, really, really don't want to be so upset over things, but it's just not possible right now not to be upset.
Steph and I talked about it the other day and basically told one another that we both care for one another and really want to be there for each other. She promised that I would not be "kicked aside" and I believe her. That made me feel alot better at the time, but now reality has kicked back in and I still feel regretful about not talking to her earlier about things.
I really wish I could handle things better than I am. I bought some cigarillos last nite and smoked about 5 of them. I hardly ever eat, I hardly ever sleep, things are just so tough right now.
I need someone to be with me, physically, preferably a chick, just to help me get through things right now, but I don't want Steph to think that I'm trying to make her jealous by doing so. Oh yeah, and also, there aren't really any chicks that I know that live around here that I feel comfortable enough with, I don't think, but I'll try my best.
So, I guess that's all for now.
I feel like Morrissey:
-d.