heard on XM today (to the tune of jingle bells...)
A Misanthrope Christmas
Shoppers buy last minute gifts and desperately deck the halls
Police respond to family fights and shootings at the mall
All in the name of peace and love and holiday good cheer
Oh, I'm so glad I'm a misanthrope and won't buy a gift this year
Oh, I'm so glad I'm a misanthrope, I won't give a gift this year
Got to find that special toy for that special little guy
The manufacturer purposely planned they'd be in short supply
So Walmart is a war zone and the parking lot is mined
Oh, I'm so glad I'm a misanthrope, I think all little kids are swine
Oh, I think you'll agree with me, all little kids are swine
That old geezer Ebeneezer was a sharp old fart
"Boil them in their pudding and pound holly through their heart"
So every year I build a shrine to those I love the most
With plastic rooftop figures of Scrooge and Marley's ghost
Oh, eight-foot plastic figures of Scrooge and Marley's ghost
So sing a song of joy and snow, of fruitcake elves and cheer
Just make sure you're far away so I won't have to hear
And when you're tired of all the screaming greedy whiny kids
Come with me and be a misanthrope, you'll be so glad you did
Oh, come with me and be a misanthrope, you'll be so glad you did
Misanthrope, misanthrope
I hate everyone
It's a cinch to be a grinch
And Yuletide's much more fun
© 2001 Dan Hart
Shoppers buy last minute gifts and desperately deck the halls
Police respond to family fights and shootings at the mall
All in the name of peace and love and holiday good cheer
Oh, I'm so glad I'm a misanthrope and won't buy a gift this year
Oh, I'm so glad I'm a misanthrope, I won't give a gift this year
Got to find that special toy for that special little guy
The manufacturer purposely planned they'd be in short supply
So Walmart is a war zone and the parking lot is mined
Oh, I'm so glad I'm a misanthrope, I think all little kids are swine
Oh, I think you'll agree with me, all little kids are swine
That old geezer Ebeneezer was a sharp old fart
"Boil them in their pudding and pound holly through their heart"
So every year I build a shrine to those I love the most
With plastic rooftop figures of Scrooge and Marley's ghost
Oh, eight-foot plastic figures of Scrooge and Marley's ghost
So sing a song of joy and snow, of fruitcake elves and cheer
Just make sure you're far away so I won't have to hear
And when you're tired of all the screaming greedy whiny kids
Come with me and be a misanthrope, you'll be so glad you did
Oh, come with me and be a misanthrope, you'll be so glad you did
Misanthrope, misanthrope
I hate everyone
It's a cinch to be a grinch
And Yuletide's much more fun
© 2001 Dan Hart