Citiguy: 41 Signs to Tell You Are Singaporean
1. Thanks to SMS, you have an extra large thumb.
2. Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel n e mor.
3. You pat MRT and bus seats to cool them before you sit down.
4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.
5. When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an accent. (If you're a DJ, this happens even when you're not speaking to foreigners.)
6. You won't raise your voice to protest policies, but you'll raise your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.
7. You're forever talking about businesses you want to set up but will probably never get around to starting.
8. You don't know ¾ of the people attending your wedding.
9 You marry for the real estate breaks.
10 You have kids for the tax advantages.
12. You move to where you want your child to go to school.
13. You feel you can't walk around naked in your own flat. (HAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, you cant!)
14. You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but pray they won't wind up in Arts later on.
15. You suddenly realise you're very interested in biotech. Before that it was e-commerce, engineering, and before that, medicine and law.
16. You think being an entrepreneur is setting up a bubble tea, Portuguese egg tart, a chestnut stall - right next to an existing bubble tea, Portuguese egg tart or chestnut shop.
17. You think people are inconsiderate when they don't leave their table immediately after eating at the food court but think you have every right to take your own sweet time with your ice kachang.
18. If you're a guy meeting other guys, you invariably trade army stories.
19. If you're a girl with other girls, you must talk about your 'stupid' guy friends who're forever trading army stories.
20. You somehow feel that food tastes better when eaten next to a longkang (drain).
21. It actually makes a difference to you being called an 'NSMan' rather than a 'Reservist'.
22. You've eaten more times at the Esplanade than you've actually seen shows there.
23. You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to flush toilets, have sex, etc.
24. You feel the urge to add the suffix '-polis' to everything, viz. Biopolis, Airtropolis, Fusionopolis, Entrepolis, etc.
25. You meet in hotels a lot.
26. Your children have a rudimentary knowledge of Tagalog or Bahasa Indonesia.
27. You work at McDonald's when you're old rather than young.
28. You'll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a parking coupon.
29. If you're pregnant, you have the magic to make people on the MRT train fall asleep instantly.
30. You've started referring to foreign employees as 'talent' instead of 'expatriates'.
31. You copy down number plates of cars involved in accidents. Then you go buy lottery tickets.
32. You think your boyfriend doesn't really love you unless he gives you part of his liver.
32. You pronounce the letter 'R' as 'ah-rer' and the letter 'H' as 'haytch'.
34. You believe that you can generate 'creativity' through rules and committees.
35. You 'chope' a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.
36. You're very forthright with your criticisms of the "Gahmen" (government), unless there's a chance they might actually hear you.
37. Your mother probably can't speak your 'mother tongue' (What is our Mother Tongue anyway?).
38. You secretly find that the best part of the Speak Good English Movement is hearing the Singlish bits in their ads.
39. You think we're living in a modern, sophisticated country even when our leaders still insist on wearing white school uniforms.
40. You wish your constituency is in a walkover, otherwise it's damn 'leceh'. (troublesome to vote)
41. During elections, you decide that there is no credible opposition even though you don't know the name of the opposition candidate in your constituency.
So how Singaporean are you?
2. Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel n e mor.
3. You pat MRT and bus seats to cool them before you sit down.
4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.
5. When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an accent. (If you're a DJ, this happens even when you're not speaking to foreigners.)
6. You won't raise your voice to protest policies, but you'll raise your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.
7. You're forever talking about businesses you want to set up but will probably never get around to starting.
8. You don't know ¾ of the people attending your wedding.
9 You marry for the real estate breaks.
10 You have kids for the tax advantages.
12. You move to where you want your child to go to school.
13. You feel you can't walk around naked in your own flat. (HAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, you cant!)
14. You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but pray they won't wind up in Arts later on.
15. You suddenly realise you're very interested in biotech. Before that it was e-commerce, engineering, and before that, medicine and law.
16. You think being an entrepreneur is setting up a bubble tea, Portuguese egg tart, a chestnut stall - right next to an existing bubble tea, Portuguese egg tart or chestnut shop.
17. You think people are inconsiderate when they don't leave their table immediately after eating at the food court but think you have every right to take your own sweet time with your ice kachang.
18. If you're a guy meeting other guys, you invariably trade army stories.
19. If you're a girl with other girls, you must talk about your 'stupid' guy friends who're forever trading army stories.
20. You somehow feel that food tastes better when eaten next to a longkang (drain).
21. It actually makes a difference to you being called an 'NSMan' rather than a 'Reservist'.
22. You've eaten more times at the Esplanade than you've actually seen shows there.
23. You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to flush toilets, have sex, etc.
24. You feel the urge to add the suffix '-polis' to everything, viz. Biopolis, Airtropolis, Fusionopolis, Entrepolis, etc.
25. You meet in hotels a lot.
26. Your children have a rudimentary knowledge of Tagalog or Bahasa Indonesia.
27. You work at McDonald's when you're old rather than young.
28. You'll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a parking coupon.
29. If you're pregnant, you have the magic to make people on the MRT train fall asleep instantly.
30. You've started referring to foreign employees as 'talent' instead of 'expatriates'.
31. You copy down number plates of cars involved in accidents. Then you go buy lottery tickets.
32. You think your boyfriend doesn't really love you unless he gives you part of his liver.
32. You pronounce the letter 'R' as 'ah-rer' and the letter 'H' as 'haytch'.
34. You believe that you can generate 'creativity' through rules and committees.
35. You 'chope' a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.
36. You're very forthright with your criticisms of the "Gahmen" (government), unless there's a chance they might actually hear you.
37. Your mother probably can't speak your 'mother tongue' (What is our Mother Tongue anyway?).
38. You secretly find that the best part of the Speak Good English Movement is hearing the Singlish bits in their ads.
39. You think we're living in a modern, sophisticated country even when our leaders still insist on wearing white school uniforms.
40. You wish your constituency is in a walkover, otherwise it's damn 'leceh'. (troublesome to vote)
41. During elections, you decide that there is no credible opposition even though you don't know the name of the opposition candidate in your constituency.
So how Singaporean are you?