almost a day off
Friday the 13th. A grading day, so I will have my "personal assistant" at home. We have a few little plans. Visit a friend and give away a pop-up bus. Mygrandmother thought the kiddo 'had to have it' so now we bequeath it to the friend with the small children. Purchase the new/;ast Lemony Snicket book for the book-a-holic.
What else.. oh yes my usual 4:00 meeting. Deposit the check from my meeting. Friday is my pay day with that client. Hound client #2 that fired me to GET MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!
I went for a waxing appointment yesterday. I have potential plans for Saturday night. It is a toss up between two very lovely people. SO I wanted to wax. OMG.. pain. well not as bad as I remember. I do plan to go again. But that is beside the point. I survived.. and now I keep thinking about getting a new tattoo. That is a toss up as well. I want a few things but am unsure which to follow through with.
The guy I like, have liked for the past.... 4 years. we broke up a long while ago, but we would ocasionally see each other in a moment of weakness. I called them long lunches when I was still working in the office. He called out of the blue, my first reaction was woohoo long lunch. then he said he was in the hospital. He had been going to med school, no he was a patient. He forgot his glasses when he went in.... hmm, and asked if I could please pick up a pair of trial contact lenses from the place at the mall, sure no problem. THen I realise that today was my field trip with the class to the Pupmkin patch. So I try and call back.
To my astonishment - well may not astonished... surprise... yes he is in the hospital, he did not give me a room he told me a ward. 2North. The operator connects me to the nurse who answers behavioral health unit. Hmm interesting. So there are a few theories, depression, drinking again (but that would be a different hospital), exhaustion and depression.
So I let him know that I would be doing the pupkin patch and apologized for not being able to pick up/drop off the contacts to him. I think he thought I would help fix him agian. I can't i was too worn out from the first fix. Driving him to rehab. that was the straw that broke this camels back. The long lunches were on thing to me and aparently something totaly different to him. We coul dnever be together like we were the first time around. When I was sitting eatign dinner, thinking abotu all of this I cam to the conclusion.
That i can't see him, in any manner, unless it is a completely public setting. No chance ot get pulled back into his swirling vortex that is his life.
It is sad. To really let it go. but..............
I had to for my sake. in any relationship I am not the only one involved. Unless it is totally fun (AKA:long lunch, fun boy) then it would eventually involve my daughter. She is why I changed my life. the reason I keep working so hard, to make money so we can live. and live well.