REVIEWS 2007-08-27
In a week that brings us Batman, Blue Beetle and Immortal Iron Fist, the fight for the first place, the first place in my heart, is a long and arduous road. But one, and only one, will be able to reach the top and claim the prize of my maidenhood. Ok, probably not my maidenhood. I found a quarter in the couch yesterday, so I might give them that.
The video today... is not that it has nudity or anything like that, but it has glam rock boys running around in their underwear, so you might not want to watch it in a place where someone might ask why you are watching guys in underwear. You might want to keep that in mind.
Klaxons - Golden Skans
Blue Beetle #18
Not as funny as the last issue, which would have been hard to accomplish, but the Teen Titans show up and it makes me wish THIS guy wrote Teen Titans. Ever since Young Justice closed shop and Teen titans began, the kids have been… kinda depressing even before Kon-El and Bart started a new exciting career in daisy pushing and worm catering. Geoff Johns has never been funny as far as I know. There is nothing wrong with not being funny; unless you are writing Superboy and Impulse, in which case it’s downright freaking CRIMINAL! Now the new writer is Sean McKeever, and I don’t have anything against McKeever. I mean, I even read Gravity and everything. Having said that, this guy should write Teen Titans and McKeever should fuck off.
Really, the Titans show up and it’s all fun and games, they fight Lobo, they are funny and charming and then Paco and Brenda steal some scenes by simply being Paco and Brenda!
But there is one problem, though. Lobo was hired to stop the launch of a rocket carrying some anti-Reach (evil aliens) equipment. Lobo leaves after the rocket is launched because he has failed the mission and he has no reason to stay any longer. What the hell stops Lobo from blowing up the rocket in mid-flight? What the hell stops Lobo from blowing up the anti-Reach satellite or whatever it was once positioned? Really?
And that big plot hole is why Blue Beetle has to make do with the third place this week.
Immortal Iron Fist #8
This issue is where the big kung fu fight between the champions of the seven capitals of heaven begins. Do I have to explain how awesome the idea is? Really? If you don’t get it, you’ll never get it. Sadly, not much happens in this issue involving insane levels of Wuxia Kung Fu. All the fighters are presented in this issue, but so far no clue what most of them are capable off. Iron Fist has to fight the E. Hondaesque Fat Cobra who can kill Shaolin Monks with the amazing power of fatty. The rest look pretty interesting, specially the hooded monk, the goth Lolita and the guy with dogs.
Due to a lack of kung fu action, Iron Fist has to stay in second place.
I like Bride of Nine Spiders, in a Hellraiser Kung Fu kinda way.
If anything, the names are awesome!
And now the first place goes to… COME ON! You can figure it out.
Batman #668
And the winner is Batman! Bats and the club of superheroes are still trapped inside Death Trap Manor in the You Are So Fucking Dead Island, part of the Holy Fuck Nobody is Going to Save You archipelago.
HAWT DAMN!
Nobody likes you when you are ass, Robin!
This issue couldn’t have come at a better time because I just bought and read Batman: A Death in the Family. And darn that was crap. Batman goes from country to country punching the natives until they tell him everything he needed to know. Batman can be shittiest detective sometimes. I am aware that is probably more realistic than anything Agatha Christie or Arthur Conan Doyle ever wrote, but it makes for some really shitty mystery solving. In this issue Batman actually has to figure things out! I was afraid he was going to start punching poor Gaucho until Gaucho had to make some shit up to make Batman stop punching him, but luckily that was not the case. Even Robin has a few pages to shine and totally make Squire horny with his awesome detective skills.
Trained by the world’s greatest detective?
YES, HE WAS!
Bonus!
Outsiders Five of a Kind: Metamorpho and Aquaman
This issue was written by newcomer G Willow Wilson. Frankly I can’t say anything about the story. It’s like a eating a perfectly nice cone of vanilla ice cream. It’s nice… tastes like vanilla… that’s it. To be honest I just bought it because the art is by the always awesome James Jean. You can replace all the dialogue with words that mean genitals and the thing would still be lovely.
Batman & Lobo: Deadly Serious #1 (of 2)
I don’t know what to think of Sam Keith to be honest. After reading things like The Maxx, Four Women, My Inner Bimbo and this, I think I can safely say Sam Keith has some odd problem with women, but he doesn’t want to and at least he is honest enough to deal with it in his work. Is he a feminist? A misogynist? A feminist misogynist? I have no clue.
This story is about women… in some way. Batman and Lobo are in there too, but they are completely tangential to the whole thing. They might as well get replaced with Green Lantern and Orion in the next issue and nobody would bat an eye. For some reason Batman can fight with Lobo hand to hand, but they are so unimportant to the story that it doesn’t matter. The story is about some alien thing that possesses women, but so far he has limited himself to sexual fetish stereotypes: A librarian, a school girl and a forty years old stripper who looks very well for her age. Librarians are the grown up version of chicks with glasses, schoolgirls are for pedophiles and the old stripper is for Milf lovers. I am not sure what that means though. Maybe it is there to make the fetishists feel bad about their fantasies, or maybe it is there because Sam Keith likes that stuff. It can go either way so far! There is supposed to be a message about women in this thing, but I’ll save my opinion on that for the second issue where the whole thing finishes.
Anyway, Sam Keith draws like Sam Keith draws, and that’s fine enough as it is. I really like how he draws women, cause he gives them stomachs and I like stomachs; that’s where I put my hot dogs. Also, in their weird way, the way Sam Keith draws them is kinda sexy.
The video today... is not that it has nudity or anything like that, but it has glam rock boys running around in their underwear, so you might not want to watch it in a place where someone might ask why you are watching guys in underwear. You might want to keep that in mind.
Klaxons - Golden Skans
Click to viewBlue Beetle #18
Not as funny as the last issue, which would have been hard to accomplish, but the Teen Titans show up and it makes me wish THIS guy wrote Teen Titans. Ever since Young Justice closed shop and Teen titans began, the kids have been… kinda depressing even before Kon-El and Bart started a new exciting career in daisy pushing and worm catering. Geoff Johns has never been funny as far as I know. There is nothing wrong with not being funny; unless you are writing Superboy and Impulse, in which case it’s downright freaking CRIMINAL! Now the new writer is Sean McKeever, and I don’t have anything against McKeever. I mean, I even read Gravity and everything. Having said that, this guy should write Teen Titans and McKeever should fuck off.
Really, the Titans show up and it’s all fun and games, they fight Lobo, they are funny and charming and then Paco and Brenda steal some scenes by simply being Paco and Brenda!
But there is one problem, though. Lobo was hired to stop the launch of a rocket carrying some anti-Reach (evil aliens) equipment. Lobo leaves after the rocket is launched because he has failed the mission and he has no reason to stay any longer. What the hell stops Lobo from blowing up the rocket in mid-flight? What the hell stops Lobo from blowing up the anti-Reach satellite or whatever it was once positioned? Really?
And that big plot hole is why Blue Beetle has to make do with the third place this week.
Immortal Iron Fist #8
This issue is where the big kung fu fight between the champions of the seven capitals of heaven begins. Do I have to explain how awesome the idea is? Really? If you don’t get it, you’ll never get it. Sadly, not much happens in this issue involving insane levels of Wuxia Kung Fu. All the fighters are presented in this issue, but so far no clue what most of them are capable off. Iron Fist has to fight the E. Hondaesque Fat Cobra who can kill Shaolin Monks with the amazing power of fatty. The rest look pretty interesting, specially the hooded monk, the goth Lolita and the guy with dogs.
Due to a lack of kung fu action, Iron Fist has to stay in second place.
I like Bride of Nine Spiders, in a Hellraiser Kung Fu kinda way.
If anything, the names are awesome!
And now the first place goes to… COME ON! You can figure it out.
Batman #668
And the winner is Batman! Bats and the club of superheroes are still trapped inside Death Trap Manor in the You Are So Fucking Dead Island, part of the Holy Fuck Nobody is Going to Save You archipelago.
HAWT DAMN!
Nobody likes you when you are ass, Robin!
This issue couldn’t have come at a better time because I just bought and read Batman: A Death in the Family. And darn that was crap. Batman goes from country to country punching the natives until they tell him everything he needed to know. Batman can be shittiest detective sometimes. I am aware that is probably more realistic than anything Agatha Christie or Arthur Conan Doyle ever wrote, but it makes for some really shitty mystery solving. In this issue Batman actually has to figure things out! I was afraid he was going to start punching poor Gaucho until Gaucho had to make some shit up to make Batman stop punching him, but luckily that was not the case. Even Robin has a few pages to shine and totally make Squire horny with his awesome detective skills.
Trained by the world’s greatest detective?
YES, HE WAS!
Bonus!
Outsiders Five of a Kind: Metamorpho and Aquaman
This issue was written by newcomer G Willow Wilson. Frankly I can’t say anything about the story. It’s like a eating a perfectly nice cone of vanilla ice cream. It’s nice… tastes like vanilla… that’s it. To be honest I just bought it because the art is by the always awesome James Jean. You can replace all the dialogue with words that mean genitals and the thing would still be lovely.
Batman & Lobo: Deadly Serious #1 (of 2)
I don’t know what to think of Sam Keith to be honest. After reading things like The Maxx, Four Women, My Inner Bimbo and this, I think I can safely say Sam Keith has some odd problem with women, but he doesn’t want to and at least he is honest enough to deal with it in his work. Is he a feminist? A misogynist? A feminist misogynist? I have no clue.
This story is about women… in some way. Batman and Lobo are in there too, but they are completely tangential to the whole thing. They might as well get replaced with Green Lantern and Orion in the next issue and nobody would bat an eye. For some reason Batman can fight with Lobo hand to hand, but they are so unimportant to the story that it doesn’t matter. The story is about some alien thing that possesses women, but so far he has limited himself to sexual fetish stereotypes: A librarian, a school girl and a forty years old stripper who looks very well for her age. Librarians are the grown up version of chicks with glasses, schoolgirls are for pedophiles and the old stripper is for Milf lovers. I am not sure what that means though. Maybe it is there to make the fetishists feel bad about their fantasies, or maybe it is there because Sam Keith likes that stuff. It can go either way so far! There is supposed to be a message about women in this thing, but I’ll save my opinion on that for the second issue where the whole thing finishes.
Anyway, Sam Keith draws like Sam Keith draws, and that’s fine enough as it is. I really like how he draws women, cause he gives them stomachs and I like stomachs; that’s where I put my hot dogs. Also, in their weird way, the way Sam Keith draws them is kinda sexy.