because of all the sand which is there
i am an elderly woman in disguise. my favorite jokes are often puns and i'm always looking for interesting ways to incorporate kale into my diet, and not necessarily because i like it. i have crushes on james a. garfield, gregory peck and jimmy carter. i’m constantly telling people that most of their problems can be solved with a little fresh air, some exercise and a nutrient-rich diet. my money’s on paul newman and robert redford for the democratic ticket in 2008. or, make that aught 8. i take cod liver oil every day and make sure that my husband takes his vitamin B so he doesn’t get irritable. i almost wrote “cranky.” i eat prunes for dessert. i go to bed early because, well, might as well. i had to stop myself from putting wadded-up tissue in my sleeve last week, and then again last night in my pillowcase. i just wrote “tissue.” the tv is never loud enough for me. i’m growing increasingly concerned that those young pop stars are wearing outfits that are a bit too revealing. truly. i sometimes use the phrase “my lord” in astonishment. i’m usually cold.
plus also i think i may have had some sort of stroke. yesterday, as i was singing along to "tracks of my tears", i got to the bridge where smokey sings “outside... i’m masquerading,” except i said, “outside... i’m aspirating.” and it wasn’t too long ago that i was singing the jane & michael banks song from mary poppins with rube and i sang “we won’t hide your testicles so you can’t see.” no, not spectacles. testicles. see, i don’t forget the words to these songs, my brain just spontaneously replaces them with other, irrelevant and somewhat less convenient words.
so then i'm left to wonder, am i like picasso, who once said that he was born with the ability to draw like an old man and spent his life learning to draw like a child? or am i more of a jonathan winters as mearth in mork & mindy, born old and aging in reverse? either's fine by me i guess. they're both fine specimens of human capabilities, if you ask me.
last night at the ice-cream shop (the one we call whitey’s house), i overheard a seven-year old in our group saying, “let’s pretend there are no force fields.”
plus also i think i may have had some sort of stroke. yesterday, as i was singing along to "tracks of my tears", i got to the bridge where smokey sings “outside... i’m masquerading,” except i said, “outside... i’m aspirating.” and it wasn’t too long ago that i was singing the jane & michael banks song from mary poppins with rube and i sang “we won’t hide your testicles so you can’t see.” no, not spectacles. testicles. see, i don’t forget the words to these songs, my brain just spontaneously replaces them with other, irrelevant and somewhat less convenient words.
so then i'm left to wonder, am i like picasso, who once said that he was born with the ability to draw like an old man and spent his life learning to draw like a child? or am i more of a jonathan winters as mearth in mork & mindy, born old and aging in reverse? either's fine by me i guess. they're both fine specimens of human capabilities, if you ask me.
last night at the ice-cream shop (the one we call whitey’s house), i overheard a seven-year old in our group saying, “let’s pretend there are no force fields.”