All you welfare hounds are invited...
[is struggling to not grimace]
Hello, vagrants people of Rapture. My dearest darling dear Charles has decided to be woefully incredibly philanthropic by throwing a dinner party tonight for the parasites locals. Sadly Fortunately, I was not allowed to slip rat poison into the meals able to provide enough real food for all of you.
Please mind the rugs and don't break the good china I'm going to murder you.