Delicious Ambiguity
I haven't been writing nearly enough. Not just livejournal, but overall. I've been extremely depressed the past few weeks, and I think I'm done. I came to quite a few realizations in the past few days. I realized I don't have to quit smoking for a month to prove I don't need it to be happy, I just need to stop using it as a tool to produce my happiness. I realized I've been thinking a lot of outside things have been making me unhappy, and in reality I'm the only one who can do that. I feel better than I have in months, and it's wonderful. This year has brought on so many changes in my life, and I need to learn to relax and enjoy life. I have an interview with a chef from the Casino on Friday, and I'm incredibly pumped about working in a kitchen over the summer. As things move forward, I realize just how anxious I am just to see what's next. I can't wait to go to Vermont, whether I get accepted to NECI or not. I believe now more than ever I am capable of achieving whatever I put my mind to, and even if I don't, I think I can accept it and move on. Life is far too short for me to spend time regretting, hating, and overall being displeased with life.
Sometimes I need to be reminded that whether I'm feeling incredibly happy or hopelessly sad, I can feel, and I should be thankful for every single moment.
I have a wonderful life, no matter how many times I take it for granted. I love my family, my friends, my animals, myself. I may not know who I am fully yet, but that's okay. I might not know who I am in twenty years, but I know I'm capable of incredible happiness. I'm so lucky, and hopefully I'll take the time to remember that more often. Life is so insane sometimes, but I love it anyway, and I want to continue being as joyful as I feel right now. Perhaps next time I'm feeling crappy, I'll look at what I've written and remember that stuff happens, and that's life. I can overcome.
Sometimes I need to be reminded that whether I'm feeling incredibly happy or hopelessly sad, I can feel, and I should be thankful for every single moment.
I have a wonderful life, no matter how many times I take it for granted. I love my family, my friends, my animals, myself. I may not know who I am fully yet, but that's okay. I might not know who I am in twenty years, but I know I'm capable of incredible happiness. I'm so lucky, and hopefully I'll take the time to remember that more often. Life is so insane sometimes, but I love it anyway, and I want to continue being as joyful as I feel right now. Perhaps next time I'm feeling crappy, I'll look at what I've written and remember that stuff happens, and that's life. I can overcome.