This week has been hard.
I've been staying home a lot.
I've been slowly learning to drive.
I realized the other day how scary it is that I'm going to be a senior in less than a month. Not in the sense that I'm scared to leave it all behind, but it's going to be hard. I've been waiting for so long to get out of this town, and the closer I get to it, the more I realize how much I'll miss the few people I did come to love in this place.
Steven's moving Thursday, which gives me all kinds of mixed feelings. I can't say I'm devastated he's leaving, but it's hard to believe he won't be around anymore, and I may never see him again. I guess I always counted on him to be there for me to fall back on, and now he won't be. It just contributes to my loneliness.
In exactly a week I'll be 17 and on my way to Burlington, Vermont, where I will celebrate my birthday and the very next day I'll set up camp with 70,000 other Phish phans. The festival has been my main focus for the past week, and I'm not anywhere close to being prepared, but I am starting to get excited.
Morgan stayed last night, we got our crunk on, applied decals, sat on the roof, bonded, discussed relationships. Then Annie came and took us to Denny's where I was not at all surprised to see Nate Colebank. Man do I hate that kid. We returned, the Jew went home, and Morgan and I walked, took faggish pictures, and fed the birds.
I've had an obsession lately with taking what I like to call "Squiggly Light Pictures." In other words, my creative motivation has been non-existant.
We slept at the cottage, and something bit me when I first got in the bed, which was followed by me screaming/freaking out and Morgan laughing until her stomach hurt. Good times.
I've spent a lot of my time cleaning my room. I'm trying to simplify and get rid of what I don't need. It's interesting to see all the crap I've collected.
I came across my canoe trip/falling water pictures today. It made me think of you. It made me miss you. It made me wish I had done something earlier. It makes me so mad at myself seeing the way things turned out. I just think that I could have found a better way, and avoided all the drama. I just hope we can be friends again. I miss talking to you, and I don't think I need any more than that anymore.