waiting for the season.

[circumcise]

current obsession: beirut.
& zach condon.
amazingly beautiful.
i feel like i've died & gone to my happy place when i listen to it.
specifically the song "nantes."

i've been having a hard time finding my happy place lately.
everything seems so vacant & somber
especially my insides.
i'm sure it's just the winter.
maybe.
it's like watching myself from the outside.
knowing that my actions & emotions are a little out of proportion.
annoyed & lone.
but i can't seem to do a thing about it.

i just listen to beirut.
shed a few tears.
& try to find a smile deep down.

every once in a while, i close my eyes & see light.
but i mostly feel like i'm living in the dark.
i'm waiting for the beam to burst through my belly.
then i will feel alive again.
waiting.