céleste, chapter two
title: Céleste (2/?)
pairing: Koyama/Shige, Shige/Ryo, Jin/Ueda (pre-breakup)
rated: mostly safe.
warnings: idk man Koyama is such a big downer
summary: He fell in love with the stars.
It was a while before Koyama could climb out of bed. Winter often made him a bigger lump of lackluster energy than he wanted himself to be. The people on the streets talk about winter like it's a metaphor for something profound, and then they imagine invigorating drifts of snow, biting cold, chilly winds that make the earth roll around. He thinks of warm furnaces inside the house, instead, Christmas and presents and standing underneath mistletoe. It was all very depressing and lethargic for him, and he preferred it that way.
Winter. A pocket of cold air between autumn and spring, the one that got away and made him all sorts of miserable.
Shige's cell phone is tucked into the bedsheets; it feels nice and smooth and barely-there. The surface is sticky with old tears, and he wipes it clean with his sleeves.
>
For Koyama, Christmas is the most depressing time of the year, when he's here against the window watching the snowflakes fall, when he feels like he could be standing on the top of the world but he isn't, when paradise is lost and found and lost again. He gets a week off from the agency to wander the streets. He buys lots of presents on Saturday and spends the next few days handing them out to the juniors and the other members of NEWS. He smiles a lot and remembers to recount careful anecdotes, and then he goes home and curls up in the bed and starts shivering. Shige used to tease him about it. He doesn't anymore.
On the last day, he's watching a drama on NHK about people who can speak to animals and it almost feels like he isn't alone.
Shige doesn't talk much to him anymore, actually. In fact, their dates generally consist of Koyama rambling about nonsensical stuff like the sunshine or their next concert date or that really embarrassing hat Kamenashi had to wear for his CM, and Shige's just sitting there like a vegetable, nodding and smiling at his lame jokes, but mostly just sitting. Like he's being forced to sit there or something. Nobody's forcing him, least of all Koyama.
8:04 AM, the clock rings, and at 8:04 AM Koyama climbs out of bed and pulls on a sweatshirt because the apartment is chilly. He doesn't like using the heating system because it's old and puffy and certainly too cheerful for the kind of atmosphere that he wants to dictate. He puts on a pair of fleecy pants for good measure.
(He doesn't have to hunt for his boxers or anything, because he never took them off because he's never had any sex with Shige, for the fucking three years they've been together. It's not even because he has a lousy sex drive.)
He doesn't want to know how many times Shige's done it with Ryo, because he can tell, he can tell from the look in their eyes the next day anyway and it hurts a little but he manages.
(Sometimes he wishes that he didn't know, couldn't tell. Wouldn't it make things so much easier?)
8:27 AM, the radio blares, and at 8:27 AM Shige, man of the hour, finds Koyama eating an American breakfast on the kitchen floor.
"Good morning, Kei."
"Nice to see you too."
Shige asks him why he isn't sitting at the table, and Koyama shrugs a little; the floor's warmer on days like these. Their conversation ends, and Shige's off to gather his things in their bedroom. Hunting for his phone, probably. Koyama kind of wants to smirk to himself but stops and stuffs a piece of toast into his mouth. Shige doesn't ask him for any of his food and it's safe to assume that he's already eaten. Somewhere else.
He's back, after a while, with a frown.
"Did you touch my phone?"
"Your phone? You left it here?"
Shige seems satisfied, and visibly relaxes. Koyama lets out a breath for himself, too, and that's when something inexplicable occurs, when the sunlight bounces off the snow on the roofs and flickers through the windowpanes like a crystal ball and he hears a kind of pretty music and there's a glow on Shige's face and suddenly Koyama really, really wants to kiss his boyfriend.
He does just that.
*
(He walks up to Shige and wraps his arms around Shige's waist and presses his lips to Shige's, and for a minute it feels alright. Shige balks a little, surprised, but then he eases into it.
So for a minute it's almost all right, until Koyama spots a set of teeth marks on Shige's left ear. And suddenly it's not all right again.)
*
"I kind of liked it better when we were friends, you know?"
"Why's that?"
"He seemed so much more approachable. Now he's just this ball of negative energy who refuses to take Prozac and it's killing me to see him like that. He's got such a bubbly personality, you know? Kind of like those kids in the perfume commercials when they're just starting out and you feel really fucking sorry for them but they're just so goddamn happy about landing a role and it's almost like they've gone and sniffed the perfume themselves and gotten high off of it or something. Or actually you know I've always wanted to land a role in a perfume commercial. With pink umbrellas. They're awfully nice. Don't you think so, Ryo-chan?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Akanishi."
"Of course you don't. What's wrong with you, anyway? You're always wearing that stupid smirk now. Like you're chronically post-coital or something ew like that. You're not even dating anyone, are you, Ryo-chan? Or do you just masturbate for fun?"
"Doesn't everybody masturbate for fun?"
"Uh, no."
"Why's that?"
"Most people do it 'cause they're desperate, bro."
"That is the biggest fucking lie I have ever heard."
"It's the truth."
"Hey, what were we talking about before, anyway?"
"Ueda! We were talking about Ueda. Why the heck are we talking about masturbating anyway. Especially when it's Ueda??"
"I dunno. You tell me."
*
tbc
*
thanks for reading! please do offer your input. ♥
i know these are short, but i expect this story to be short ha ha
pairing: Koyama/Shige, Shige/Ryo, Jin/Ueda (pre-breakup)
rated: mostly safe.
warnings: idk man Koyama is such a big downer
summary: He fell in love with the stars.
It was a while before Koyama could climb out of bed. Winter often made him a bigger lump of lackluster energy than he wanted himself to be. The people on the streets talk about winter like it's a metaphor for something profound, and then they imagine invigorating drifts of snow, biting cold, chilly winds that make the earth roll around. He thinks of warm furnaces inside the house, instead, Christmas and presents and standing underneath mistletoe. It was all very depressing and lethargic for him, and he preferred it that way.
Winter. A pocket of cold air between autumn and spring, the one that got away and made him all sorts of miserable.
Shige's cell phone is tucked into the bedsheets; it feels nice and smooth and barely-there. The surface is sticky with old tears, and he wipes it clean with his sleeves.
>
For Koyama, Christmas is the most depressing time of the year, when he's here against the window watching the snowflakes fall, when he feels like he could be standing on the top of the world but he isn't, when paradise is lost and found and lost again. He gets a week off from the agency to wander the streets. He buys lots of presents on Saturday and spends the next few days handing them out to the juniors and the other members of NEWS. He smiles a lot and remembers to recount careful anecdotes, and then he goes home and curls up in the bed and starts shivering. Shige used to tease him about it. He doesn't anymore.
On the last day, he's watching a drama on NHK about people who can speak to animals and it almost feels like he isn't alone.
Shige doesn't talk much to him anymore, actually. In fact, their dates generally consist of Koyama rambling about nonsensical stuff like the sunshine or their next concert date or that really embarrassing hat Kamenashi had to wear for his CM, and Shige's just sitting there like a vegetable, nodding and smiling at his lame jokes, but mostly just sitting. Like he's being forced to sit there or something. Nobody's forcing him, least of all Koyama.
8:04 AM, the clock rings, and at 8:04 AM Koyama climbs out of bed and pulls on a sweatshirt because the apartment is chilly. He doesn't like using the heating system because it's old and puffy and certainly too cheerful for the kind of atmosphere that he wants to dictate. He puts on a pair of fleecy pants for good measure.
(He doesn't have to hunt for his boxers or anything, because he never took them off because he's never had any sex with Shige, for the fucking three years they've been together. It's not even because he has a lousy sex drive.)
He doesn't want to know how many times Shige's done it with Ryo, because he can tell, he can tell from the look in their eyes the next day anyway and it hurts a little but he manages.
(Sometimes he wishes that he didn't know, couldn't tell. Wouldn't it make things so much easier?)
8:27 AM, the radio blares, and at 8:27 AM Shige, man of the hour, finds Koyama eating an American breakfast on the kitchen floor.
"Good morning, Kei."
"Nice to see you too."
Shige asks him why he isn't sitting at the table, and Koyama shrugs a little; the floor's warmer on days like these. Their conversation ends, and Shige's off to gather his things in their bedroom. Hunting for his phone, probably. Koyama kind of wants to smirk to himself but stops and stuffs a piece of toast into his mouth. Shige doesn't ask him for any of his food and it's safe to assume that he's already eaten. Somewhere else.
He's back, after a while, with a frown.
"Did you touch my phone?"
"Your phone? You left it here?"
Shige seems satisfied, and visibly relaxes. Koyama lets out a breath for himself, too, and that's when something inexplicable occurs, when the sunlight bounces off the snow on the roofs and flickers through the windowpanes like a crystal ball and he hears a kind of pretty music and there's a glow on Shige's face and suddenly Koyama really, really wants to kiss his boyfriend.
He does just that.
*
(He walks up to Shige and wraps his arms around Shige's waist and presses his lips to Shige's, and for a minute it feels alright. Shige balks a little, surprised, but then he eases into it.
So for a minute it's almost all right, until Koyama spots a set of teeth marks on Shige's left ear. And suddenly it's not all right again.)
*
"I kind of liked it better when we were friends, you know?"
"Why's that?"
"He seemed so much more approachable. Now he's just this ball of negative energy who refuses to take Prozac and it's killing me to see him like that. He's got such a bubbly personality, you know? Kind of like those kids in the perfume commercials when they're just starting out and you feel really fucking sorry for them but they're just so goddamn happy about landing a role and it's almost like they've gone and sniffed the perfume themselves and gotten high off of it or something. Or actually you know I've always wanted to land a role in a perfume commercial. With pink umbrellas. They're awfully nice. Don't you think so, Ryo-chan?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Akanishi."
"Of course you don't. What's wrong with you, anyway? You're always wearing that stupid smirk now. Like you're chronically post-coital or something ew like that. You're not even dating anyone, are you, Ryo-chan? Or do you just masturbate for fun?"
"Doesn't everybody masturbate for fun?"
"Uh, no."
"Why's that?"
"Most people do it 'cause they're desperate, bro."
"That is the biggest fucking lie I have ever heard."
"It's the truth."
"Hey, what were we talking about before, anyway?"
"Ueda! We were talking about Ueda. Why the heck are we talking about masturbating anyway. Especially when it's Ueda??"
"I dunno. You tell me."
*
tbc
*
thanks for reading! please do offer your input. ♥
i know these are short, but i expect this story to be short ha ha