Twenty Four
Three weeks of training left. All I have to do is pass one more test and three case studies and I'm all set.
We went over to my grandparents' house tonight to visit my Grandfather's brother, Uncle Marcus. He's ninety, and he's beginning to get to that point where your health degrades merely because you're old. It was good to see him; I haven't seen him in four or five years. I have these memories of being a little kid and going to a reunion at his house in Pennsylvania. What struck me most about the reunion was the number of people gathered there. From the very young to the very old, all ages were represented. I remember feeling like I belonged to something large, if only for a day or two.
As I sat across from him tonight and he looked at me while my parents made small talk, I realized something. I have this block in my head that won't let me think about the fact that one day I'll be really old too. I know it in an academic sense. Everybody gets old. But for a split second, I felt like I could almost see things from his perspective. What would it feel like for me to sit there, feeling ill and talking to a young man like myself? What would it feel like to be achy and sore and tired, just because you were old? What would it feel like to wear a sweater, knowing that you might not buy another sweater ever again? I know it sounds really strange. But this is what I thought in that split second.
Does anybody have any thoughts about getting old? What do you expect? What are you afraid of? I think the thing that scares me most isn't regret or anything. I think I'm mostly afraid of the awareness of the speed at which time travels. Just, "poof." Where did all those years go, when I was as young as that young man?
That feeling scares me a little bit.
-DS
We went over to my grandparents' house tonight to visit my Grandfather's brother, Uncle Marcus. He's ninety, and he's beginning to get to that point where your health degrades merely because you're old. It was good to see him; I haven't seen him in four or five years. I have these memories of being a little kid and going to a reunion at his house in Pennsylvania. What struck me most about the reunion was the number of people gathered there. From the very young to the very old, all ages were represented. I remember feeling like I belonged to something large, if only for a day or two.
As I sat across from him tonight and he looked at me while my parents made small talk, I realized something. I have this block in my head that won't let me think about the fact that one day I'll be really old too. I know it in an academic sense. Everybody gets old. But for a split second, I felt like I could almost see things from his perspective. What would it feel like for me to sit there, feeling ill and talking to a young man like myself? What would it feel like to be achy and sore and tired, just because you were old? What would it feel like to wear a sweater, knowing that you might not buy another sweater ever again? I know it sounds really strange. But this is what I thought in that split second.
Does anybody have any thoughts about getting old? What do you expect? What are you afraid of? I think the thing that scares me most isn't regret or anything. I think I'm mostly afraid of the awareness of the speed at which time travels. Just, "poof." Where did all those years go, when I was as young as that young man?
That feeling scares me a little bit.
-DS