Thirty Four
So, this will most likely be a long and introspective post. I'll apologize now.
Most years, I've come up with lame resolutions and made half-hearted attempts to follow through with them. This year, there are a lot of things that I want to deal with, things that I'm serious about. I'm hopeful that this will be a year of growth. This past year brought a lot of changes for me and I've spent a lot of time dwelling on them, but this is a new year. I realized that there are some issues I need to deal with. So, I'm tackling them little by little. Here goes...
Life without Roommates
So, we all know that I was a little bit (okay, a lot) anal when I had roommates. It was hard for me to deal with the late nights, the loud voices, all of that stuff. I know I snapped at people quite a bit more than I wanted to. But now that I live alone, it's hard to express how much I miss having people around. It's kind of ridiculous. I'm not going to tell how much I pay for the townhouse per month, but it's a fair amount, and for the past 6 months I've only spent 2 or 3 nights a week there because it's so lonely (so I've been losing money to boot). The silence is so powerful. And I would think, I can't come home to this every night for who knows how long; this can't be how it is. A fortress of solitude is really just a prison. But I started to think. I have six months left to stay here. And I can use this opportunity to learn to chill out. To be okay with quiet, and to appreciate the company of friends (even at three in the morning!). So, I've started calling the place "Fortress Daniel." From now on, it will be my place to be comfortable, to regroup, and to plot my attack on life. I've begun filling it with pictures of people who I miss and also with plants, and that seems to help a lot. So this resolution is to learn to be okay with being by myself.
Fitness and Nutrition
Okay, so I have a lean physique. But it turns out I put on 9 pounds at work already! That was kind of cool but it wasn't something I planned or noticed. It got me thinking that I want to be consciously putting on weight, not just adding it on (if I control my diet, I should be able to add it in muscle instead of fat). So, I'm going to the gym 3 days a week for a full hour each day. Or at least, that is the plan! My goal is to have a physique something between an elf and a greek god. But a bit taller than each, really. Strong and agile like an assassin or a special agent, perhaps? Who knows. Oh, and I've also been really cutting down on salt and soda. So this resolution is to eat healthy and exercise, but more so.
Music
One of my friends is working on his own cd! So I thought, if he can do it, there's no reason I can't. My goal is to get really serious about music in the next six months; goodness knows I've got the time. The goal here is to write six full songs in the next six months. Not just riffs, not just lyrics, but six songs I can sing and play at the same time. Then I could burn them onto an E.P....
Buffalo
I don't know if it counts as a resolution to move back to a city, but it is for me. It was never the plan to stay in Utica. It was never the plan to go to Utica, for that matter. It's just something that happened. And I will use this time as good as I can, but there is a definite endpoint to it. I need to be back in the city I know, back with the friends I miss. I knew who I was in Buffalo, and it's hard to remember that here. I know that some will say there's a danger in relying on a place or on people for affirmation of who I am, and I understand that. But for now, it's something I need. I am who I am in Buffalo, and here in Utica I just go the motions. Anyway, this resolution is to come back to Buffalo - with a good job, hopefully! - in July.
Okay, that's about all I feel like writing (if anyone's still reading, too!). I know I have more but I'm still working on them. I'm hoping to come to Buffalo the weekend after next. Perhaps if the weather holds we could get a game of football???
- DS
Most years, I've come up with lame resolutions and made half-hearted attempts to follow through with them. This year, there are a lot of things that I want to deal with, things that I'm serious about. I'm hopeful that this will be a year of growth. This past year brought a lot of changes for me and I've spent a lot of time dwelling on them, but this is a new year. I realized that there are some issues I need to deal with. So, I'm tackling them little by little. Here goes...
Life without Roommates
So, we all know that I was a little bit (okay, a lot) anal when I had roommates. It was hard for me to deal with the late nights, the loud voices, all of that stuff. I know I snapped at people quite a bit more than I wanted to. But now that I live alone, it's hard to express how much I miss having people around. It's kind of ridiculous. I'm not going to tell how much I pay for the townhouse per month, but it's a fair amount, and for the past 6 months I've only spent 2 or 3 nights a week there because it's so lonely (so I've been losing money to boot). The silence is so powerful. And I would think, I can't come home to this every night for who knows how long; this can't be how it is. A fortress of solitude is really just a prison. But I started to think. I have six months left to stay here. And I can use this opportunity to learn to chill out. To be okay with quiet, and to appreciate the company of friends (even at three in the morning!). So, I've started calling the place "Fortress Daniel." From now on, it will be my place to be comfortable, to regroup, and to plot my attack on life. I've begun filling it with pictures of people who I miss and also with plants, and that seems to help a lot. So this resolution is to learn to be okay with being by myself.
Fitness and Nutrition
Okay, so I have a lean physique. But it turns out I put on 9 pounds at work already! That was kind of cool but it wasn't something I planned or noticed. It got me thinking that I want to be consciously putting on weight, not just adding it on (if I control my diet, I should be able to add it in muscle instead of fat). So, I'm going to the gym 3 days a week for a full hour each day. Or at least, that is the plan! My goal is to have a physique something between an elf and a greek god. But a bit taller than each, really. Strong and agile like an assassin or a special agent, perhaps? Who knows. Oh, and I've also been really cutting down on salt and soda. So this resolution is to eat healthy and exercise, but more so.
Music
One of my friends is working on his own cd! So I thought, if he can do it, there's no reason I can't. My goal is to get really serious about music in the next six months; goodness knows I've got the time. The goal here is to write six full songs in the next six months. Not just riffs, not just lyrics, but six songs I can sing and play at the same time. Then I could burn them onto an E.P....
Buffalo
I don't know if it counts as a resolution to move back to a city, but it is for me. It was never the plan to stay in Utica. It was never the plan to go to Utica, for that matter. It's just something that happened. And I will use this time as good as I can, but there is a definite endpoint to it. I need to be back in the city I know, back with the friends I miss. I knew who I was in Buffalo, and it's hard to remember that here. I know that some will say there's a danger in relying on a place or on people for affirmation of who I am, and I understand that. But for now, it's something I need. I am who I am in Buffalo, and here in Utica I just go the motions. Anyway, this resolution is to come back to Buffalo - with a good job, hopefully! - in July.
Okay, that's about all I feel like writing (if anyone's still reading, too!). I know I have more but I'm still working on them. I'm hoping to come to Buffalo the weekend after next. Perhaps if the weather holds we could get a game of football???
- DS