Life On The Brat Diet.
My stomach isn't too certain about the apple sauce I fed it, but I kept on feeding it anyway. I've basically told this illness I'm sick of it and I'm going to eat one way or another. Within two days I've eaten 48oz. of Haggens Applesauce. And tonight. Yes, tonight I will have Claudia. Fuck this sickness. I've been feelin' nasty too long, an' all be damned if it gets in the way important things. It will have been twelve days now since the last time. And yes, for many of those days I couldn't have given a rats ass about sex seeing as I was feeling so sick, but I'm ready to kick this sickness's ass to the curb.
So, I didn't throw up last night and I haven't thrown up today. I've been living off of the "brat diet"; applesauce, low sodium saltines, toast, bananas, and water. MMMmmm..yummy, huh? Claudia and I were joking about how we should start our own consumer diet. All you have to do is act like anything and everything that you'd put in your mouth is going to make you feel like you're going to puke or that you're near dying. And what happens when you're near death usually? You can't hardly eat dip shit. I'm hoping I come out of this sickness a good 10lbs lighter. I hope I get something out of it.
I actually prayed yesterday. I was like,"God...I know I'm reading a book about the peking order and such(Still The Lucifer Principle by Howard Bloom. Slowly but surely eating away at it. I'm right at the tail end of reading it now, but I'm going to pick up the pace and try to get it done really soon because my baby wants to read it real bad too). But I still believe in you and I'd appreciate it if you'd help me get over this illness. I think five days is long enough, don't you?" This was after I layed down from getting tired and weak just by sitting up and reading. I layed down with the book on my chest, my eyes at half mass and said my lil' prayer.
Claudia thinks it must've helped me because I was acting much better later on. But right now I'm pretty damn frustrated with my stomach because it's being a big ol' sissy and acting like applesauce is a poision or something. I'm going to say another prayer again today and put a little more thought into it this time. I'm sure God would appreciate it. Maybe I'll even get my new license plates up on my car, take out the garbages today, scrub the tub, and take a thorough shower today.
I told my babe that when my stomach got fully better she'd have to make me some killer spagetti and pasta because of course when you're sick you think of all the wonderful foods your stomach just can't handle.
The night before last we left two messages for my mom telling her how sick I was and that following day (Friday) it didn't seem like we were going to get any call back from my mom which just would've shocked me something good. But she did. She called in the evening. And Claudia had calmed my fears by telling me she probably didn't get the messages because who checks their messages in the morning anyway? And she probably was at work, and who checks their home phone messages at work?
I was so relieved when she did call, even though it was during what Claudia and I like to call "my Jesus show" aka Joan of Arcadia (my cheesy pointless guilty pleasure). We talked for a really long time. But mostly I was just grateful that she called at all and was concerned about my well being. I think I even heard an "I love you" at the end of our convo. I think that might have been the result of us talking about our family's past and my admitting where I though I would have, could I have, acted differently. I think it gave my mom a lot of comfort. I told her I didn't think I should be made to feel guilty over it but I recognized that if the person who I was now were able to go back to then I would've acted differently. I think she got it. What a change if I heard her right. If those were the right words. Plus, I called my mom on a few things that I thought were totally immature and wrong, which might have been another reason for her telling me "I love you" at the end of our convo.
*Note: Wrote an e-mail to one of my girl's sisters yesterday upon Claudia's request because she wanted that sister to get in contact with the other sister who just came home from the Navy to get into contact with her. I naturally get along better with the younger sister, so I don't think it would be that bad to hang out with her again. :)
*Note No.2: Does anyone know this song that I have listed under Music? It's just fricken awesome (I've heard it before many o' times). So if you even't ever heard of Jeff Buckley, go out, do yourself a favor, and get his CD Grace. You'll be thanking me for years to come. ;)
So, I didn't throw up last night and I haven't thrown up today. I've been living off of the "brat diet"; applesauce, low sodium saltines, toast, bananas, and water. MMMmmm..yummy, huh? Claudia and I were joking about how we should start our own consumer diet. All you have to do is act like anything and everything that you'd put in your mouth is going to make you feel like you're going to puke or that you're near dying. And what happens when you're near death usually? You can't hardly eat dip shit. I'm hoping I come out of this sickness a good 10lbs lighter. I hope I get something out of it.
I actually prayed yesterday. I was like,"God...I know I'm reading a book about the peking order and such(Still The Lucifer Principle by Howard Bloom. Slowly but surely eating away at it. I'm right at the tail end of reading it now, but I'm going to pick up the pace and try to get it done really soon because my baby wants to read it real bad too). But I still believe in you and I'd appreciate it if you'd help me get over this illness. I think five days is long enough, don't you?" This was after I layed down from getting tired and weak just by sitting up and reading. I layed down with the book on my chest, my eyes at half mass and said my lil' prayer.
Claudia thinks it must've helped me because I was acting much better later on. But right now I'm pretty damn frustrated with my stomach because it's being a big ol' sissy and acting like applesauce is a poision or something. I'm going to say another prayer again today and put a little more thought into it this time. I'm sure God would appreciate it. Maybe I'll even get my new license plates up on my car, take out the garbages today, scrub the tub, and take a thorough shower today.
I told my babe that when my stomach got fully better she'd have to make me some killer spagetti and pasta because of course when you're sick you think of all the wonderful foods your stomach just can't handle.
The night before last we left two messages for my mom telling her how sick I was and that following day (Friday) it didn't seem like we were going to get any call back from my mom which just would've shocked me something good. But she did. She called in the evening. And Claudia had calmed my fears by telling me she probably didn't get the messages because who checks their messages in the morning anyway? And she probably was at work, and who checks their home phone messages at work?
I was so relieved when she did call, even though it was during what Claudia and I like to call "my Jesus show" aka Joan of Arcadia (my cheesy pointless guilty pleasure). We talked for a really long time. But mostly I was just grateful that she called at all and was concerned about my well being. I think I even heard an "I love you" at the end of our convo. I think that might have been the result of us talking about our family's past and my admitting where I though I would have, could I have, acted differently. I think it gave my mom a lot of comfort. I told her I didn't think I should be made to feel guilty over it but I recognized that if the person who I was now were able to go back to then I would've acted differently. I think she got it. What a change if I heard her right. If those were the right words. Plus, I called my mom on a few things that I thought were totally immature and wrong, which might have been another reason for her telling me "I love you" at the end of our convo.
*Note: Wrote an e-mail to one of my girl's sisters yesterday upon Claudia's request because she wanted that sister to get in contact with the other sister who just came home from the Navy to get into contact with her. I naturally get along better with the younger sister, so I don't think it would be that bad to hang out with her again. :)
*Note No.2: Does anyone know this song that I have listed under Music? It's just fricken awesome (I've heard it before many o' times). So if you even't ever heard of Jeff Buckley, go out, do yourself a favor, and get his CD Grace. You'll be thanking me for years to come. ;)