Letters to recalcitrant characters

[circ_bamboo]

Dear Chapel and McCoy:

For two people who supposedly want to sleep together, why on earth do you insist on lingering at the wedding?! I finally pried you out and it took, like, weeks. Seriously. This is embarrassing.

Love,

c_b

Dear Number One and Kirk:

Please stop fucking in my head. I'm working on something else with a deadline.

Some love,

c_b

Dear Cait and Lady!Boyce:

Ditto what I said to One and Kirk.

Somewhat less love,

c_b

Dear Miss Colt:

What are you hiding?!

Very little love,

c_b

--

N.B. It should be understood that this is a construct and not to be interpreted as c_b actually thinking that she talks to these people.