Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the character’s heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means
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From Make Me Believe:
"In the closet," he said, pointing, and oh, if he'd known Leonard's ass looked like that when walking nude he would have kicked him out of bed on a pointless errand a long time ago.
The return trip was just as nice, in a different way, muscles shifting in his legs and abdomen. "What?" Leonard asked.
"Nothing," Chris said, grinning. "You want to walk back to the closet and grab something else random?"
Leonard frowned again and looked at the closet before he caught on, and shook his head. "You want to watch my ass or you want to grab it?"
"Good point."
Together they stacked the pillows by the wall, and Chris leaned against the pile, adjusting until he was comfortable.
"That okay?" Leonard asked.
"I think so."
Leonard leaned in and kissed him, warm and unhurried. Or at least it started that way, but when Chris nibbled on his lower lip, he broke the kiss, hauled in a harsh breath, and set his mouth right below Chris's ear. A moment later Chris felt the scrape of teeth against his neck and felt his heart start to race. It was-
Jesus, he didn't know if he could-
But it was so-
He threaded his fingers through Leonard's hair and drew him off for a moment. Fuck, this was the most difficult thing he'd done all night. "I just want you to know," he said, heart still pounding, "that what you're doing right there is basically edgeplay for me. I'm not saying stop, not yet, because goddamn is it working right now-" He took Leonard's hand and put it on his cock, hard as fucking nails when it hadn't been a minute ago. "-but be careful."
"Okay," Leonard said, as if it were totally normal to be told to be careful when nibbling on one's partner's neck, and resumed his ministrations. He gave Chris's cock a squeeze and let go, prompting a groan, but just laughed as he slid his hand up Chris's chest.
As he worked his way down, Chris groaned again at the feeling of Leonard's mouth on his collarbone. Leonard's fingers carded through Chris's chest hair, and scratched lightly.
"Oh, god," Chris said, and twisted, trying to get more skin against skin. Unfortunately, he twisted just wrong, and something in his hip scraped against something else, setting off his already-overloaded nervous system. He stiffened, not in the good way, which made it worse, and inhaled sharply.
Leonard looked up immediately. "What's wrong?"
"Fucking-nervous system," Chris said, gritting his teeth and trying to ride out the moment. Sometimes it would go away after a few moments; sometimes it would feed back into a loop and he'd be miserable until he got more drugs in him. "Just-a moment-"
McCoy nodded and sat back on his heels.
Chris squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on relaxing as much as he possibly could. He didn't mind a little pain, but it wasn't a turn-on, and even if it were, this kind of pain wasn't the kind he'd want. He inhaled, held the breath, and exhaled slowly.
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"In the closet," he said, pointing, and oh, if he'd known Leonard's ass looked like that when walking nude he would have kicked him out of bed on a pointless errand a long time ago.
It's true: watching a nude guy walk away, assuming you know he's coming back, is awesome. It's probably great watching a woman do the same thing but I am inexplicably heterosexual. Alas.
The return trip was just as nice, in a different way, muscles shifting in his legs and abdomen. "What?" Leonard asked.
So, as it turns out, walking uses weird muscles. Not that I googled this; I just know that sometimes my obliques get sore after a long run. Also, taking up running means you think about other people's quads a lot more than you did before. /rambles
"Nothing," Chris said, grinning. "You want to walk back to the closet and grab something else random?"
Leonard frowned again and looked at the closet before he caught on, and shook his head. "You want to watch my ass or you want to grab it?"
"Good point."
Chris is a twit.
Together they stacked the pillows by the wall, and Chris leaned against the pile, adjusting until he was comfortable.
"That okay?" Leonard asked.
"I think so."
Leonard leaned in and kissed him, warm and unhurried. Or at least it started that way, but when Chris nibbled on his lower lip, he broke the kiss, hauled in a harsh breath, and set his mouth right below Chris's ear. A moment later Chris felt the scrape of teeth against his neck and felt his heart start to race. It was-
Jesus, he didn't know if he could-
But it was so-
He threaded his fingers through Leonard's hair and drew him off for a moment. Fuck, this was the most difficult thing he'd done all night. "I just want you to know," he said, heart still pounding, "that what you're doing right there is basically edgeplay for me. I'm not saying stop, not yet, because goddamn is it working right now-" He took Leonard's hand and put it on his cock, hard as fucking nails when it hadn't been a minute ago. "-but be careful."
So I had to google 'edgeplay' when writing this to see if it meant what I thought it meant, and it kind of does (the other meaning is knives). Um, so. *lecture mode* The flip side of having a physical trigger is that if one (and one's partner) is careful, one can skirt around the edges of it and get a lot of extra adrenaline in the fun way. It can backfire really easily, but if it doesn't . . .
"Okay," Leonard said, as if it were totally normal to be told to be careful when nibbling on one's partner's neck, and resumed his ministrations. He gave Chris's cock a squeeze and let go, prompting a groan, but just laughed as he slid his hand up Chris's chest.
Because you know what? There really are people in the world who, when told, 'no, you can't do that because I can't handle it, even though that's not something that bothers other people,' just sort of say, okay and go on. As if it's not weird.
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What are you saying, that I'm predictable? ;-)
This was fun to read, thank you!
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"Oh, god," Chris said, and twisted, trying to get more skin against skin. Unfortunately, he twisted just wrong, and something in his hip scraped against something else, setting off his already-overloaded nervous system. He stiffened, not in the good way, which made it worse, and inhaled sharply.
Leonard looked up immediately. "What's wrong?"
"Fucking-nervous system," Chris said, gritting his teeth and trying to ride out the moment. Sometimes it would go away after a few moments; sometimes it would feed back into a loop and he'd be miserable until he got more drugs in him. "Just-a moment-"
Um, so I was in a car accident a number of years ago and occasionally stuff gets out of whack. My sciatic nerve gets pinched, which makes the muscles tense, which means they clamp down on the nerves, which means the nerve gets pinched more, which means . . . you get it. It fucking hurts. Trust me on this one. (It's happening right now. Well, okay, not right now right now, because I took drugs, but right now generally.) See Dust From His Hands for another example of this happening and/or more of my feelings on the matter.
McCoy nodded and sat back on his heels.
Chris squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on relaxing as much as he possibly could. He didn't mind a little pain, but it wasn't a turn-on, and even if it were, this kind of pain wasn't the kind he'd want. He inhaled, held the breath, and exhaled slowly.
Although, truth be told, if my hips are out of whack and I'm in pain, there ain't nothin' like sex going on, because unlike Chris, who has actual chronic pain here, mine's just episodic and I can't push through it. Also, due to the location of the sciatic nerve and the configuration of female anatomy, it, uh, doesn't . . . there's not really a position that would result in no pain. /tmi
I hope you enjoyed!
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