Fic: Darcy Lewis, Astrophysicist Wrangler (MCU)
I seriously do not understand this random period of prosperity but I am pointedly not questioning it.
This is also from urbancate's comment fic meme.
Title: Darcy Lewis, Astrophysicist Wrangler (AO3)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic (Avengers) Universe
Summary: How Darcy got her six-inch heels.
Characters: Darcy, Jane, Pepper; Tony and Bruce appear briefly but importantly
Rating: PG? G?
Content Advisory: I can't think of anything.
Word Count: 1200
Notes: For morrigans_eve's prompt of "Any of the women in Avengers: Wear six-inch heels to work." It went a tad awry, but hey. It sort of works as an insert to the first set of *** in TAIGS (Drysuit Remix), I guess.
"But I don't need a new suit," Jane said. "My old suit is good enough, isn't it?"
"It's really not," Darcy said, dragging Jane down the hall by the arm. "I'm not even your assistant any more and I got five phone calls about how your old suit isn't good enough."
"Who on earth . . .?"
"Well," Darcy said, "okay, so four of them were from your new assistant, who was panicking because she couldn't think of a good way to convince you that you need a new suit." She stopped in front of the elevator, but kept a hold of Jane's arm. "The fifth one was Pepper Potts, who very politely offered me the use of a Stark Industries credit card if money was an issue."
"Oh," Jane said, and she was very quiet for a long moment after that. "I really need a new suit that badly?" she asked. The elevator dinged, and they stepped into it.
"If you're going to present at the conference this weekend, yes," Darcy said. "Stark Industries doesn't want one of its employees out in public in a suit that looks that crappy."
"I'm not an employee of Stark Industries," Jane said, protesting.
"Yeah, yeah, consultant. Well, they can't exactly say you're a consultant for S.H.I.E.L.D., so for all intents and purposes, Stark Industries is the relevant company here." The elevator opened, and Darcy grabbed Jane again. "Come on. There's a car waiting."
"Where are we going?" Jane asked.
"Rockefeller Center. Don't worry; I took the credit card anyway."
"Oh."
* * *
About seven minutes later they were in the building, staring at the list of stores on the kiosk, and Darcy turned to frown at Jane. "Have you ever shopped at any of these stores?"
"I have no idea," Jane said, eyes wide.
Darcy rolled her eyes. "I shouldn't have bothered asking. Okay. There are about ten stores in this mall that carry suits--and I spent all morning Googling exactly what we're supposed to be looking for in a suit, because hell if I knew before that. But now I know, and you are going to be the hottest professionally-dressed astrophysicist on the planet."
Jane snorted. "Well, that's not all that difficult."
"It doesn't mean I'm not going to try my hardest."
Jane looked at her, tilting her head to one side. "Pepper bribed you."
"I am un-bribable!" Darcy said, hand over her heart. "I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart, and under the knowledge that you will throw your old suit out."
Jane narrowed her eyes. "What did she bribe you with? Tell me."
Darcy heaved a sigh. "Shoes."
"Shoes?"
"Shoes," Darcy said. "I wear them. She said I could buy shoes for myself if I made you buy a suit and got it tailored."
Jane nodded. "Okay."
"Okay? So you're going to go along with this?"
"Who am I to stand between you and a new pair of shoes?"
"You're the best," Darcy said feelingly.
* * *
Less than an hour later (personal shoppers were amazing), Jane had a new navy-pinstripe suit and three shirts to wear under it. Darcy took a picture of the whole lot and emailed it to Pepper, who sent back, Good. Jane has an appointment with my tailor at 4.
"At four, and it's ten minutes from here," Darcy said. "It's only 2:30."
"I think this means we have time to look for shoes," Jane said.
"And this is why you're still my best friend." Darcy grinned.
* * *
Half an hour later, Darcy was wobbling out of Rockefeller Center wearing a pair of shoes with--"Really, Darcy? Six-inch heels?" Jane said. "And you're going to wear them for the rest of the afternoon?"
"They're surprisingly comfortable," Darcy said.
"Any level of comfort better than 'banned by the Geneva convention' would be surprising about six-inch heels," Jane said.
Darcy pursed her lips. "No, I've definitely worn more uncomfortable shoes before."
"It's your funeral," Jane said. "Do you like being that much taller than I am?"
Darcy looked down at Jane--way down--and said, "Yes."
* * *
She got Jane through the tailor with a minimum of fussing ("Why do I need the center back of the jacket taken in?" -- "Don't argue with the lady with a mouthful of pins, Jane.") and back to Stark Tower before five PM.
"You can probably take the car home," Jane said. "I've got some stuff to catch up on, since you kidnapped me for the while afternoon."
"I'll do that," Darcy said, "but I have to give Pepper the credit card back."
"Are you going to be able to walk that far?" Jane asked, sounding dubious.
"I'm fine," Darcy said. She gritted her teeth and thought very resolutely about everything other than the blister forming on the side of her left foot. "Let's go."
Jane waited with her while she told the receptionist that she was here to see Pepper, and then waited while the receptionist confirmed. "Ms. Potts is on her way downstairs, Ms. Lewis. If you wait a few moments, she'll be here."
"Okay," Darcy said. "Hey, Jane, I'll see you late tonight, right?"
"Yes," Jane said, and waved as she got into an open elevator.
Darcy leaned against the wall and stared at a piece of incomprehensible modern art for a couple minutes before she decided it looked like nothing so much as a puppy wearing a paper hat on its head. She heard the elevator ding and straightened quickly, not wanting Pepper Potts, of all people, to see her slouching, but when the doors opened, they didn't reveal Pepper.
No, it was a pair of men, both dark-haired and familiar-looking, in that way where one of them was Tony Stark and the other was Bruce Banner. Darcy took a step back, but apparently the movement caught Stark's attention, and he turned to look in her direction.
"Hi, Tony Stark," he said, holding his hand out.
Darcy shook it. "Darcy Lewis," she said.
"Yes, I know," he said. "Professional Jane Foster-wrangler."
Darcy blinked. "Formerly," she said. "Now I'm an office monkey."
Inexplicably, he grinned. "Office monkey. I like it."
The elevator doors opened right then and without even looking, Stark said, "Hey, Pep, can we rename all the secretaries 'office monkeys'?"
"Tony," Pepper said, her tone clearly disapproving. "Hi, Darcy."
Darcy handed over the credit card, and Pepper nodded her acknowledgment. "Success?" she asked.
"New suit and three shirts at the tailor," Darcy said.
Pepper smiled. "And?"
Darcy pulled up one pant leg about an inch, and Pepper sucked in a breath. "Pierre Hardy?" she asked.
"Pour La Victoire," Darcy said, not that the name had meant anything to her three hours ago.
"Nice," Pepper said, appreciation evident in her tone. "Not quite my usual style, but I could change for those."
"Oh, God, don't," Stark said, sounding strangled. "Aren't you tall enough as it is?"
Darcy looked up and then down; at the moment, she could almost look Pepper Potts in the eye and she was the same height or maybe a smidge taller than both Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. She looked down and both men were wearing dress shoes, although Darcy was suspicious of Stark's--there might be lifts inside.
Which meant that--she mathed quickly in her head--Iron Man was, at best, five-nine out of the suit, and the Hulk, when he was un-Hulked, was even shorter.
She really couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her after that.
This is also from urbancate's comment fic meme.
Title: Darcy Lewis, Astrophysicist Wrangler (AO3)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic (Avengers) Universe
Summary: How Darcy got her six-inch heels.
Characters: Darcy, Jane, Pepper; Tony and Bruce appear briefly but importantly
Rating: PG? G?
Content Advisory: I can't think of anything.
Word Count: 1200
Notes: For morrigans_eve's prompt of "Any of the women in Avengers: Wear six-inch heels to work." It went a tad awry, but hey. It sort of works as an insert to the first set of *** in TAIGS (Drysuit Remix), I guess.
"But I don't need a new suit," Jane said. "My old suit is good enough, isn't it?"
"It's really not," Darcy said, dragging Jane down the hall by the arm. "I'm not even your assistant any more and I got five phone calls about how your old suit isn't good enough."
"Who on earth . . .?"
"Well," Darcy said, "okay, so four of them were from your new assistant, who was panicking because she couldn't think of a good way to convince you that you need a new suit." She stopped in front of the elevator, but kept a hold of Jane's arm. "The fifth one was Pepper Potts, who very politely offered me the use of a Stark Industries credit card if money was an issue."
"Oh," Jane said, and she was very quiet for a long moment after that. "I really need a new suit that badly?" she asked. The elevator dinged, and they stepped into it.
"If you're going to present at the conference this weekend, yes," Darcy said. "Stark Industries doesn't want one of its employees out in public in a suit that looks that crappy."
"I'm not an employee of Stark Industries," Jane said, protesting.
"Yeah, yeah, consultant. Well, they can't exactly say you're a consultant for S.H.I.E.L.D., so for all intents and purposes, Stark Industries is the relevant company here." The elevator opened, and Darcy grabbed Jane again. "Come on. There's a car waiting."
"Where are we going?" Jane asked.
"Rockefeller Center. Don't worry; I took the credit card anyway."
"Oh."
* * *
About seven minutes later they were in the building, staring at the list of stores on the kiosk, and Darcy turned to frown at Jane. "Have you ever shopped at any of these stores?"
"I have no idea," Jane said, eyes wide.
Darcy rolled her eyes. "I shouldn't have bothered asking. Okay. There are about ten stores in this mall that carry suits--and I spent all morning Googling exactly what we're supposed to be looking for in a suit, because hell if I knew before that. But now I know, and you are going to be the hottest professionally-dressed astrophysicist on the planet."
Jane snorted. "Well, that's not all that difficult."
"It doesn't mean I'm not going to try my hardest."
Jane looked at her, tilting her head to one side. "Pepper bribed you."
"I am un-bribable!" Darcy said, hand over her heart. "I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart, and under the knowledge that you will throw your old suit out."
Jane narrowed her eyes. "What did she bribe you with? Tell me."
Darcy heaved a sigh. "Shoes."
"Shoes?"
"Shoes," Darcy said. "I wear them. She said I could buy shoes for myself if I made you buy a suit and got it tailored."
Jane nodded. "Okay."
"Okay? So you're going to go along with this?"
"Who am I to stand between you and a new pair of shoes?"
"You're the best," Darcy said feelingly.
* * *
Less than an hour later (personal shoppers were amazing), Jane had a new navy-pinstripe suit and three shirts to wear under it. Darcy took a picture of the whole lot and emailed it to Pepper, who sent back, Good. Jane has an appointment with my tailor at 4.
"At four, and it's ten minutes from here," Darcy said. "It's only 2:30."
"I think this means we have time to look for shoes," Jane said.
"And this is why you're still my best friend." Darcy grinned.
* * *
Half an hour later, Darcy was wobbling out of Rockefeller Center wearing a pair of shoes with--"Really, Darcy? Six-inch heels?" Jane said. "And you're going to wear them for the rest of the afternoon?"
"They're surprisingly comfortable," Darcy said.
"Any level of comfort better than 'banned by the Geneva convention' would be surprising about six-inch heels," Jane said.
Darcy pursed her lips. "No, I've definitely worn more uncomfortable shoes before."
"It's your funeral," Jane said. "Do you like being that much taller than I am?"
Darcy looked down at Jane--way down--and said, "Yes."
* * *
She got Jane through the tailor with a minimum of fussing ("Why do I need the center back of the jacket taken in?" -- "Don't argue with the lady with a mouthful of pins, Jane.") and back to Stark Tower before five PM.
"You can probably take the car home," Jane said. "I've got some stuff to catch up on, since you kidnapped me for the while afternoon."
"I'll do that," Darcy said, "but I have to give Pepper the credit card back."
"Are you going to be able to walk that far?" Jane asked, sounding dubious.
"I'm fine," Darcy said. She gritted her teeth and thought very resolutely about everything other than the blister forming on the side of her left foot. "Let's go."
Jane waited with her while she told the receptionist that she was here to see Pepper, and then waited while the receptionist confirmed. "Ms. Potts is on her way downstairs, Ms. Lewis. If you wait a few moments, she'll be here."
"Okay," Darcy said. "Hey, Jane, I'll see you late tonight, right?"
"Yes," Jane said, and waved as she got into an open elevator.
Darcy leaned against the wall and stared at a piece of incomprehensible modern art for a couple minutes before she decided it looked like nothing so much as a puppy wearing a paper hat on its head. She heard the elevator ding and straightened quickly, not wanting Pepper Potts, of all people, to see her slouching, but when the doors opened, they didn't reveal Pepper.
No, it was a pair of men, both dark-haired and familiar-looking, in that way where one of them was Tony Stark and the other was Bruce Banner. Darcy took a step back, but apparently the movement caught Stark's attention, and he turned to look in her direction.
"Hi, Tony Stark," he said, holding his hand out.
Darcy shook it. "Darcy Lewis," she said.
"Yes, I know," he said. "Professional Jane Foster-wrangler."
Darcy blinked. "Formerly," she said. "Now I'm an office monkey."
Inexplicably, he grinned. "Office monkey. I like it."
The elevator doors opened right then and without even looking, Stark said, "Hey, Pep, can we rename all the secretaries 'office monkeys'?"
"Tony," Pepper said, her tone clearly disapproving. "Hi, Darcy."
Darcy handed over the credit card, and Pepper nodded her acknowledgment. "Success?" she asked.
"New suit and three shirts at the tailor," Darcy said.
Pepper smiled. "And?"
Darcy pulled up one pant leg about an inch, and Pepper sucked in a breath. "Pierre Hardy?" she asked.
"Pour La Victoire," Darcy said, not that the name had meant anything to her three hours ago.
"Nice," Pepper said, appreciation evident in her tone. "Not quite my usual style, but I could change for those."
"Oh, God, don't," Stark said, sounding strangled. "Aren't you tall enough as it is?"
Darcy looked up and then down; at the moment, she could almost look Pepper Potts in the eye and she was the same height or maybe a smidge taller than both Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. She looked down and both men were wearing dress shoes, although Darcy was suspicious of Stark's--there might be lifts inside.
Which meant that--she mathed quickly in her head--Iron Man was, at best, five-nine out of the suit, and the Hulk, when he was un-Hulked, was even shorter.
She really couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her after that.