Didn't take my meds tonight.
Had too much caffeine and nicotine.... I let the insomnia demon drive and now it's nearly 6 am and I have to be back on the road at 9.
The nice thing about LJ is ... no one who might worry about me will see this.
I know like one person who still uses LJ regularly and I doubt she clicks the friends feed button very often.
I'm just lying in bed thinking about serial killers... like you do... and wondering about how they ever get actually convicted since they are so clearly mentally damaged and delusional that insanity seems like the only sane way to treat them... since once they get institutionalized into the correction system they usually get murdered or become creepily good at becoming star inmates to the point where they get lots of extra privileges' and shit. In popular fiction most serial killers are either genius level intellects with Sherlock Holmes Mind Palaces and shit or... deranged thrill killers shuffled off into Arkham asylum... like... in any realistic version of Gotham the Joker is killed immediately by ... just about anyone including probably Batman. Like the Heath Ledger Joker death / non-death is the closest we can get to a realistic Joker since apparently Joaquin Phoenix's Joker was never intended to be a real portrayal of the DC villain... I guess the 89 Batman had Joker die too also falling from a height... but like I don't think that movie holds up? It's been like 30 years right? And Tim Burton is so problematic I kind of don't want to rewatch it to see if I'm wrong. And don't get me wrong I dressed up as Batman for a few Halloween's in a row because of that movie... but I was like 8... I didn't have any grounding in critical media analysis.
Anyway... I started thinking about serial killers because I was thinking of the persistent PEOPLE WILL HAND OUT DRUGS DISGUISED AS CANDY myth... and was like no sane person gives away expensive drugs or meds... but then I was like but yeah an insane person might spike some candy with their xanax or adderall or something... by definition you cannot really predict what a mentally damaged individual will or will not do... as someone who now has to take meds to keep from being up at 6am writing livejournal posts about serial killers I... didn't expect to be typing any of these words on all saints day. How is it November already? I constantly want to die, and people around me keep dropping off the fucking world like lemmings but I just keep existing... the whole quantum immortality thing is a bitch... if quantum universes actually exist and if human consciousness can in fact survive in a parallel world despite their best efforts to cease existence, then hell really is this world we live in and there is no escape unless the almighty cosmic creator they/themselves decides to snuff ya...
And raised as a non-denominational Xtian of devout standing in a few places of worship... the concept of the limitless void of null memory and eternal rest without the threat of resurrections or cosmic reward/punishment really has a powerful appeal... and yet the uncertainty of it all is truly the horror to end all horror the fact that most if not all ghost phenomena can be traced to literal bad vibrations in the construction of old houses/factories/hospitals etc... buildings literally vibrating on a subharmonic frequency that causes the inner ear to project hallucinations both auditory and visual as the brain scrambles to understand why it is pitched wrongly...
Lazarus come forth, he called him by name because if he had just said COME FORTH the entire cemetery would have shambled out. Thanks Stephen... that was a fucking kick in the teeth I didn't expect from Pet Semetary...