I'm not dead
I'd just thought I'd write b/c it's been forever and ever since I've last written, but my problem is most of what I want to write about I probably shouldn't. Some know what I mean when I say that. Fucked up situation after fucked up situation. That's what it all is. I've moved into the B Rooms which really isn't half as bad as I thought it would be. Problem is though, I lost my job at Drunkin' Donuts... because of Mark pretty much but not totally... see I took off for a couple days with Corey (which I don't feel like getting into right now) around the 20th of June and I ended up not going to work on one of the days I was supposed to, no phone call nothing (oops) and it was a Wednesday and I did really need to go and pick up my check so I decided to go in and I had to talk to my manager which I knew would happen and she said that I had the next day off and I work on Friday at 7:00 am. Don't bother being late. If I don't come in then she'd take it as a "volentary termination" which means I quit, and the end. Mark and I made up and went through a big mess Wednesday morning... nine stitches... and I watched! It was cool looking, but Mark killed my hand when they put the needle in to numb it. We had a long talk in the hospital and he told me how bad he wanted to be with me and that he was 100% set on marrying me. He told me "fuck this boyfriend/girlfriend shit, we're getting married. But I want to ask you right and I know the perfect time to do it will be when we go up to Portland on the Fourth of July in front of my whole family" He said he was never more sure about anything in his whole life. That night we had a MUCH needed night in a hotel room together with plans to go to Mass. in the morning with Xavier... it totally 100% fell through and the rest of the money we had was accidently left in the cab and never seen again. AND Linda (who Mark and I were staying with) kicked me out because... well I don't know a combination of reasons, plus the fact that she wanted Mark. SO Thursday night I ended up sleeping outside on a porch. I told Mark to come wake me up in time for work and he said he would. He kept coming outside to check on me and he bought me a pack of cigarettes when I asked to just bum A cigarette, he bought me a sandwich and a bottled water even though I told him I wasn't hungry and he made me take blankets and his jacket with me even though it was a warm night and I told him I wasn't cold at all and he kept saying how shitty he felt that he wasn't sleeping outside too but I told him to sleep inside so he could wake me up. He was genuinly worried about me and I felt so loved and happy all night long... but I woke up at abou 10:30... not 7:00. AND when I went inside, Mark and Linda were sleeping in the same bed. I flipped out. Great. I lost my job, my boyfriend, my place to live, may I go on? Well he told me he really did not sleep with her but we're not together right now and we've been talking and the end with that conversation. But ok that's how I lost my job. I need to find a new one by Thursday or I'm out of the B Rooms and on the street. I did talk to the manager at Dunkin' and begged for my job back and she said she'd think about it and I'd know by tomorrow. Well, got to go. I'm going to go find something to do tonight.