Frankie died last night
I keep doubting every decision i've made in the last few days. I wish i would have known what to look for. Thurday morning the doctor diagnosed Frankie with a respiratory infection, and a calcium deficiency / imbalance, and injected him with a medicine to help. Last night or early this morning i'm not sure because of his body being hard in places and feeling like there was a heart beat in others. I've prayed a lot in the last four days, alot and I asked others to pray. I'm very sad and can't stop crying except when i'm sleeping. If you know me well you know i talked about my iguana all the time, Frankie was more then a pet he was one of my best friends; and right now i feel like its my fault he died. I was so wrapped up in finals, money problems, car trouble, and boy problems i guess i just thought his body was changing, growing, and pouting. Not that he had a lung infection and that his organs were failing. Thursday he was having seizures and his heart stopped. I had to go to work yesterday and Thursday.... Friday Steph and Megan watched Frankie, Thursday Frankie was home after he got the shot, i didn't think about forcing food into him before i got to work. I was already late I should have i should have just showed up really late rushed to the pet and the grocery store and prayed that he'd be feeling better when i got off work. I came home and he was shaking with tremors/ seizures and his muscles were spasming. i held him for hours curled up in a bath tub under a light, forcing food in him. He stopped breathing for 45 seconds - 2 minutes. I thought it was a miricle when his eyes opened and he perked up. He seemed to be doing much better all night, and in the morning when i dropped him off with Steph. When i grabbed him later he was just so tired, i should have taken him to the vet again, but after the call i got after he was seizing "he's really sick and there are two options here the medicine works.... or it doesn't i'm sorry." I probably should have ran him into the vet at 9 when he started getting really weak around 11:30 he seized and his chest went hard, I fell asleep with him in my arms just holding him and praying i was wrong and in the morning when he got the shot he'd be feeling better. I called Holly and Sarah, Holly came with me to the vet to see she took him back and said he was gone i agreed to have him cremated and get the ashes back, she told me i could hold him as long as i wanted. Ironic-ly one of my favorite songs came on while i was holding him stroking his spine and weeping, the glory of love by Chicago. I think the only thing i can keep saying to myself is he's no longer in pain and he's not hurting anymore. Mom is going to drive up and just help where ever she can, I just feel so broken right now. He was my baby, him Merlyn, and Phineus. My three babies. I may not have children but their like that for me, cause i may never have children of my own. Merlyn has been keeping me company, licking away my tears kissing my nose, just trying to cheer me up... if you have a good memory of Frankie, i'd really appreciate you sharing it with me, i just can't think clearly right now.