(no subject)

[cinnamonkat69]

hmmm....wow. i havent updated since april. soooo much has changed since then. when i first moved back from arkansas in the beginning of may i was a lil outta control....ok a LOT outta control-i went right back to my old ways......but in the past two months ive finally come to my senses (i know a lot of you have been waiting for me to do that for a long time) and i have a completely new outlook on life. ive stopped destroying my body and mind, and i am so ready and on the path to brightening my future. i had allowed myself to become a completely different, ugly person in the past two years.....a person i didnt even like, so i totally understand why a bunch of my old friends didnt want anything to do with me, b/ci wasnt the girl that they used to be friends with. i really hope that at least a few of my old friends who loved me a couple of years ago read this post, and i want to straight out apologize to them...and ask them to find it in their hearts to forgive me. my close friends know what ive gone thru since high school graduation....having to drop outta Temple b/c of developing a cyst on my vocal chord (yea that kinda killed any chance of a career in music for me.....which was devastating news), an on again-off again abusive and extremely unhealthy boyfriend which left me with such deep emotional wounds that will scar me for life, a serious partying problem....etc, etc. i was falling deep into a black hole but was too proud and too stubborn to admit that i even needed help and support at all. so the situation just continued to escalate and get worse. i am deeply ashamed of the way i lived my life in the past couple of years, and i am sooo ready to start fresh and new! im going back to school (BCC this fall and then away somewhere in the spring....not sure where yet) and this time im going to do it right! im sharon motherfuckin hartman and God has blessed me with way too many gifts and i am not going to waste them anymore! i am destined to be someone important! its time for me to climb outta that black hole of despair and to part the clouds of irresponsibility, naivety, and self pity that i have been living under! i really want to try and reconnect with all of my friends that felt i betrayed them and just were disgusted with the person i had let myself become.....if any of you read this, please call or text me b/c i most definitely want to surround myself with the good ppl that i once abandoned b/c i thought i wanted something totally different and ended up screwing up bad! Please forgive me God! Please forgive me friends!

*346-8343*

thats the digits....call if this confession made you feel some kinda way and you are ready to give me a second chance for friendship!
-shar