Stolen Jokes
Three buddies got together one afternoon and were soon talking about how drunk they had gotten the night before.
The first guy said, "I went to a crazy party. Man, I got so drunk that when I got home I blew chunks."
The second guy said, "That's nothing. I was at a bar last night, and I got so drunk that I got a DWI driving home, and wound up spending the night in jail!"
The third guy says, "I have both of you beat. Walking home from the nightclub last night, I was so drunk that I picked up a prostitute and brought her home---where my wife caught us!"
Then the first guy wails, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
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One fine day in 2009, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President George W. Bush."
The Marine replied, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer President and doesn't reside here."
The old man said, "Okay, thanks." and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President George W. Bush."
The Marine replied, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is not the President anymore, and he doesn't reside here."
The man thanked him and again walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President George W. Bush."
The irritated Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to former President Bush. I've told you already several times that George W. Bush is NOT the President and DOESN'T live here anymore. Don't you understand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine. I just love hearing your answer!"
The first guy said, "I went to a crazy party. Man, I got so drunk that when I got home I blew chunks."
The second guy said, "That's nothing. I was at a bar last night, and I got so drunk that I got a DWI driving home, and wound up spending the night in jail!"
The third guy says, "I have both of you beat. Walking home from the nightclub last night, I was so drunk that I picked up a prostitute and brought her home---where my wife caught us!"
Then the first guy wails, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One fine day in 2009, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President George W. Bush."
The Marine replied, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer President and doesn't reside here."
The old man said, "Okay, thanks." and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President George W. Bush."
The Marine replied, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is not the President anymore, and he doesn't reside here."
The man thanked him and again walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President George W. Bush."
The irritated Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to former President Bush. I've told you already several times that George W. Bush is NOT the President and DOESN'T live here anymore. Don't you understand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine. I just love hearing your answer!"