(no subject)
so i am the most indecisive person ever. i never know what i want. sometimes i think i do and when it looks like i might get it, i falter. its not like a 'i think the grass is greener' thing, honestly i don't know what it is. it makes me incapable of having serious relationships. i don't always write everything i feel in here...actually i hardly write exactly what i feel. but i have been reading other people's journals and it feels good to know that i share the same problems as most other people. after reading annie's journal and comments i have decided life is hard but we do make it so harder on ourselves. i havn't decided what i want out of my life. its like i am so afraid to just be normal. i want my like to have a purpose, but then doesn't everyones life have a purpose? everyone does something. what may seem for fulfill my search for meaning may not mean anything to someone else. i guess i am just rambling because these last couple of days i have been so high and then so low. sometimes i feel i am making a bad impression on the people around me. like some of them would be better is i just left them alone. maybe that is why i like books so much. i can be a part of someone else's life but not have to dictate how to live it. i am just trying to sort feelings.
and i love the rain. today's weather was so cozy.
and i love the rain. today's weather was so cozy.