(no subject)
if i told you i put 20 cigarettes in my mouth everyday, you'd call me unhealthy. if i put one in my arm, you'd call me crazy. if i told you these scars on my knuckles are from streetfights, i'm tough. if they're from sheet rock reinforced with wood, open ice machines, and strangers windows, i'm sick. if i told you i have a few after work i'm just blowing off steam. if it's before i'm an addict.
because dignity is the only thing that no one can give you but anyone can take away.
because no one can ignore their own pain for very long. because.. because-a million becauses to fill a million Y's. because some of us didn't see stars til calloused hands covered our eyes. because some of us took baptism in our fathers brandy breath. because some of us SCREAM holy holy to mothers deaf ears. because children can smell fingerprints and the sharks circle when you have the stench of someone else. and those Y's never get answered. and those children become adults but that stink is still on me.
so i bleed for me.
i mark myself so i will never be marked again.
i scar myself to clot my wounds.
i scream louder than my demons because the only way i can be more the sum of what has been done to me is to do it all again to myself.
because dignity is the only thing that no one can give you but anyone can take away.
because no one can ignore their own pain for very long. because.. because-a million becauses to fill a million Y's. because some of us didn't see stars til calloused hands covered our eyes. because some of us took baptism in our fathers brandy breath. because some of us SCREAM holy holy to mothers deaf ears. because children can smell fingerprints and the sharks circle when you have the stench of someone else. and those Y's never get answered. and those children become adults but that stink is still on me.
so i bleed for me.
i mark myself so i will never be marked again.
i scar myself to clot my wounds.
i scream louder than my demons because the only way i can be more the sum of what has been done to me is to do it all again to myself.