(no subject)
Odd: I'm home for a hot second.
So I'm experiencing this week of my life where I know that I'll only have a boyfriend for a few more days. It's not breaking my heart, but it's very sad. I'm glad that it's ending like this instead of amid one of our more thunderous encounters, because those were awful. It makes me ashamed to think of them, for both of us, but mostly for him. I don't know if he'll change for someone else. I think he probably will, and that it happened because we loved each other very much, which is not an excuse.
At home I lie on the kitchen floor and talk to him, like I did all summer, and I cry.
I'm here with my three best friends from college. I'm always surprised by the weight of how much I like them. It's insurance against sprained ankles and colds and car accidents and break-ups with Paul.
Lately I've been full of impure thoughts about my roommate, this very skinny boy who plays intricate games with girls' heads. But manipulation is something I have to run very far away from. Nonetheless he's very charming. During the day he is passive and sarcastic but at parties he becomes enthusiastic and physically assertive. He has a girlfriend, in any case, and we're going away for the summer.
I have been reading and reading, because it helps these emotional headaches somewhat.
So I'm experiencing this week of my life where I know that I'll only have a boyfriend for a few more days. It's not breaking my heart, but it's very sad. I'm glad that it's ending like this instead of amid one of our more thunderous encounters, because those were awful. It makes me ashamed to think of them, for both of us, but mostly for him. I don't know if he'll change for someone else. I think he probably will, and that it happened because we loved each other very much, which is not an excuse.
At home I lie on the kitchen floor and talk to him, like I did all summer, and I cry.
I'm here with my three best friends from college. I'm always surprised by the weight of how much I like them. It's insurance against sprained ankles and colds and car accidents and break-ups with Paul.
Lately I've been full of impure thoughts about my roommate, this very skinny boy who plays intricate games with girls' heads. But manipulation is something I have to run very far away from. Nonetheless he's very charming. During the day he is passive and sarcastic but at parties he becomes enthusiastic and physically assertive. He has a girlfriend, in any case, and we're going away for the summer.
I have been reading and reading, because it helps these emotional headaches somewhat.