(no subject)
I have this bizarre semi-crush on this guy at work. His hair is thinning in the back and he's a bit awkward and I'm happy with my boyfriend and have no intentions of cheating. (Unless Clive Owen is reading this, in which case, call me.) But nevertheless I found myself doing the, "Where is he standing/Is he looking at me/Shit, stop looking at him" thing the other day, and getting a little jealous when I saw him talking with other girls in the department.
The extremely stupid thing is that when I first met him I sensed he was attracted to me and I didn't want to lead him on at all, so I made a point of mentioning at the earliest convenience, "Oh, you play the piano? My boyfriend sings, what a coincidence" or something only slightly less lame then that. And now I'm annoyed if he's not paying attention to me. What the fuck? Why am I back in middle school?
I think the problem is that he looks REMARKABLY like this guy Chris that I had a crush on in Seattle. He was so fucking hot, but he was interested in someone else for the first several months that I knew him. By the time he asked me out I had just started dating Marcus. Like a dumbass, I decided to stay with the abusive asshole rather than dating the hottie. And now Chris is married and going to Lutheran seminary or some such insanity. So it's this permanently unresolved thing. Fuck.
Maybe I should keep in e-mail contact with Chris and eventually, after, I don't know, four years (to pick a COMPELTELY RANDOM number) he'll piss me off enough that I'll no longer wonder what could have been. And James, if you just read this...um, you didn't just read this. ;)
The extremely stupid thing is that when I first met him I sensed he was attracted to me and I didn't want to lead him on at all, so I made a point of mentioning at the earliest convenience, "Oh, you play the piano? My boyfriend sings, what a coincidence" or something only slightly less lame then that. And now I'm annoyed if he's not paying attention to me. What the fuck? Why am I back in middle school?
I think the problem is that he looks REMARKABLY like this guy Chris that I had a crush on in Seattle. He was so fucking hot, but he was interested in someone else for the first several months that I knew him. By the time he asked me out I had just started dating Marcus. Like a dumbass, I decided to stay with the abusive asshole rather than dating the hottie. And now Chris is married and going to Lutheran seminary or some such insanity. So it's this permanently unresolved thing. Fuck.
Maybe I should keep in e-mail contact with Chris and eventually, after, I don't know, four years (to pick a COMPELTELY RANDOM number) he'll piss me off enough that I'll no longer wonder what could have been. And James, if you just read this...um, you didn't just read this. ;)