(no subject)
Я зашла на портал The Women's International Perspective в поисках чтива про женщин, у которых за плечами работа в области устойчивого развития. Однако я тут же отвлеклась: мое внимание привлекла статья про докфильм Dark Side of the Full Moon, посвященный теме психического здоровья молодых мам.
Знаю, кое-кто в моей ленте прошел через послеродовую депрессию в той или иной мере. Поэтому хочу опубликовать здесь комментарий к статье, который меня ошеломил. Это о том, как ты больше не хозяйка самой себе: мало того, что ты переполнена чувством отвественности за беззащитное крошечное существо, так тебе еще и нельзя выражать открыто свои эмоции и ощущения, под угрозой потерять право ухаживать за ребенком приходится врать и надевать на себя личину. Меня, нерожавшую, такое свидетельство пугает, конечно, и заставляет думать о том, что первые месяцы после родов- это многомерный капкан. Физиологический, психологический, общественно-моральный, нужное подчеркнуть.
First of all I want to say that when I found out I was pregnant I was happy, with a side of nerves. I never cried during my pregnancy like I hear some women say they do. I never had cravings like I would see on tv. I also didn’t have mood swings as the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” foretold.
When my daughter was born I went from being myself to feeling like an unwanted guest in my own body.
I was told by my OB/GYN that my body will go through mood swings. He said it will be like being on my period. However after my daughter was born I did not recognize myself anymore. That is not something my period ever did to me.
A day after my daughter was born a nurse said “what a beautiful day” and I burst into tears.
The next day my OB/GYN came to my room and said that all the nurses were discussing my crying. He asked “why are you crying?”
I said I was sad and he began writing notes and left. An hour later social services came to tell me that they saw my records and saw my “issues with an eating disorder.” She also told me that she wants to make visits to my house and that if my daughter looked malnourished she would be taken away.
My husband saw me crying and asked my doctor why I was so sad. The doctor told my husband that if he felt I was a threat to my baby they would look into it.
I felt judged and alone. I was not going to tell anyone what I was feeling for fear they would take my baby and call me crazy.
The doctor came in and asked me again why I was crying. “I’m sad my baby is not able to go home. I’m sad she can’t breathe.” I lied. “Yup that sounds normal,” said the OB/GYN.
I suffered for two years thinking that what I was experiencing was normal.
Once I stopped smiling it felt like doctors and social services were waiting with pitch forks ready to attack the “crazy” woman. To know many other women experience similar feelings is a relief because I now know I am not alone.
If the OB/GYNs can learn and inform women of this information rather than just birth control options available after pregnancy, I believe many women can be saved
Хочется верить, что в Европе можно рассчитывать на более чуткое отношение гинекологов, соцработников и педиатров.