Dec 03, 2021 09:00
It’s amazing how different posting here is than onto those ‘other’ places online. No character limit. My relatives and high school friends aren’t here being confused or supportive. And while I’ve never made a secret of the ‘here’ most folks have moved on enough that - much like tumblr it feels like a hidden clubhouse of a platform - even more so really.
Things since my last - 2016! - post have been rollercoastery - as is my way - but also extra understandable in these times of rona. I got horrifically unemployed. And by unemployed I mean I lost the 60+ hours a week with health care day job and acquired 5+ hustler jobs that barely paid for the commute to get to them and did not offer health care - though the injuries, stress, and panic attacks they gave me required plenty of medical (eastern and western) attention. After a couple of untenable years with that - which thankfully also included a fair bit of self booked touring - I jumped back into musical curation as a day job which - while it was still ‘buy groceries on your credit card’ wages, and there was still no health care, it did at least give me the petty bourgeoisie illusions of office work respectability that my sad ego needed to believe in my worker bee talents and ladder up to my current ‘can pay for groceries’ / ‘have health care’ job that while it’s not working in the arts - actually feels healthy and like a good fit.
Music is still the crux of it all. I spent last night talking over wine with a Famous Musician Friend about art and fame and who deserves what - and also he loves my next record (coming out in 2022). I’m in full absorbing all the opinions / planning all of the things mode to get ready for the release and also hedging my bets and protecting my heart from the disappointments that rona or the universe may throw in my path.
There is more to come… I miss this space. It always freed me up to write more, even when I felt I had no time to write. Sometimes I miss being known as a writer. My little poet soul still keeps those home fires burning while the musician steals the spotlight - but it’s all a journey. The only path I can walk is my own.
I miss you.
music,
emchy,
writing