Moving On (and what not to leave behind)
Title: Moving On
Author: cindyls1969
Oneshot
Summary: Noah goes home but finds out it's not where he needs to be...he needs to move on.
A/N: So, I heard this song walking to work this morning and my mind automatically went to Luke and Noah. I saw Noah walking away but of course, my Nuke heart can't have an ending like that, so this is what I came up with. And here is the song. http://youtu.be/IiHhTdg8qrc
Noah walked into the lounge at the Lakeview, desperate for a drink before heading to bed. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting when he finally gave in and came home to Oakdale for Thanksgiving dinner, but Luke snuggling on the porch with another man was pretty much the last thing he thought he’d encounter.
It was the second Thanksgiving since he’d headed to LA and Lily and Emma had been pestering him constantly. After 13 calls between them he’d finally said yes and hopped on a plane the day before.
When he got out of the cab at the farm and opened the door to the porch, Luke had jumped off the bench and given Noah an awkward hug before introducing Bill. Apparently he and Luke went to school together and took a bunch of writing courses together.
How wonderful for them.
Noah had sat through dinner, everyone at the table deliberately ignoring the elephant in the room. Afterward, when the dishes and clean-up were done, Luke and Bill had excused themselves, leaving Noah to spend some “quality” time with his family.
Everyone had expressed their sympathy and encouraged him to wait just a little longer until Luke came to his senses. He had a feeling they were more deeply in denial than he had been.
Noah sighed and spotted an empty stool at the bar. Walking over, he sat down and ordered a scotch. He downed the first one and motioned for a second, ignoring the bartenders raised eyebrow.
As he downed the second one, the bottom dropped out of his stomach as Luke and Bill walked in, hand in hand and dropped into a booth in the corner. They hadn’t spotted him yet so he sat down to watch them for a few minutes. It would probably be the last time he would get to lay eyes on the man he still loved, so he decided to indulge himself a little.
He couldn’t help but smirk a little when he realized that Luke was nowhere near as comfortable with Bill as he’d been with Noah. It was the little things that gave him away. Luke had always been plastered to Noah’s side when they had gone out together. There was space between him and Bill.
And when the other man had reached out to hold Luke’s hand, Luke had pulled away, smiling a little to soften the rejection. Luke had always loved holding hands with Noah. In fact he’d played with Noah’s hands constantly as they sat talked for hours.
As he watched them talk, Noah knew this would be the last time he’d come back to Oakdale. It was too hard, and nothing would ever change here. It was like everyone he knew was holding their breath and waiting for Noah and Luke to get back together.
But Noah was done waiting. Luke had moved on and it was time for Noah to as well. Putting it off was only going to make things harder. Tomorrow he’d head back to LA and hopefully he’d be able to make a start at learning how not to love Luke Snyder.
Noah downed the last of his scotch and got up to leave. As he threw some money down on the bar, someone turned on the Jukebox in the corner and the song that started up stopped Noah in his tracks.
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
Noah couldn’t help but chuckle. Maybe fate was telling him that he’d made the right decision. But first…
He whirled around and walked over to Luke and held out his hand. “May I have this dance?”
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
Luke stood without a word and took Noah’s hand. They walked over to the dance floor and immediately moved into each other’s arms.
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
It wasn’t smooth. They barely managed not to trip over each other, but then again, they’d always been terrible dancers. But after all this time, they still fit.
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
Noah knew the song was almost over so he held Luke a little tighter, just for a moment before pushing him back gently.
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
Those gorgeous café au lait eyes still seemed to peer right into Noah’s soul, even now when they were filled with confusion. Noah reached up and framed Luke’s face in both his hands and leaned down to kiss him, one last time. When he pulled back, he smiled. “I love you Luke. Think I always will. But it’s time for me to let go, one last time. I’m moving on.”
With that he let go of Luke and backed toward the door. Once he reached it, he turned and walked through it and wouldn’t let himself take one last look over his shoulder. Instead, he just whispered to himself as he walked to his room. “I’m moving on.”
The next morning he packed everything up and called for a taxi to the airport. He’d decided that he’d send Lily a message once he was in the air so that she wouldn’t be able to talk him out of going. Was it the coward’s way out? Probably, but it was the best he could do at the moment.
He checked out quickly and waited for his cab out front. When it arrived, he threw his duffle in the trunk and then climbed in the back. He could feel the tears pressing at the back of his eyes but he forgave himself that moment of weakness. He was leaving the only real home he’d ever had. A few tears were allowed.
He settled back into the seat for the trip to the airport and let his eyes drift shut. It wouldn’t take long and Oakdale would be nothing but vibrant memories.
When he got to the airport it didn’t take long to check in and he was just heading for the security checkpoint when he heard his name being called.
“Noah…god damn it Noah! WAIT!” It was Luke, running through the airport with a security guard right behind him, obviously trying to get him to stop. Noah couldn’t help but grin. He could have told the guy that stopping Luke was almost impossible.
He stood and waited until Luke skidded to a stop in front of him. They looked at each other for a moment and then the security guard got to them.
“Sir, I told you before, you’re gonna have to move your car. You can’t leave it there.” The poor man was panting and Noah felt kinda bad for him.
Luke just glared. “I’ll do it in a minute. I just have to tell him something.” He pointed his thumb at Noah and then turned to face him. “You never said anything. You’ve been gone almost two years and not once did you say a fucking thing about still loving me or being ready to move on.”
Noah smiled at him sadly. “Because I was waiting for you. I told you I would and I thought I could wait forever. But I was wrong. It hurts too much.”
Luke’s big eyes filled up with tears. “I know. I’m sorry. I was just so scared. I didn’t know how to go forward with the past hanging on to me so hard. But I should have. Can you forgive me?”
“I can forgive you anything Luke, but not for being scared. That’s nothing you have to be sorry for.” He reached up and wiped the tears from Luke’s lashes. “What about Bill?”
“I don’t…I can’t…” He didn’t seem to be able to find the words he wanted to say, but Noah knew anyway.
“I know. I watched you with him. You weren’t comfortable.” Noah breathed a sigh of relief as Luke lifted his hand to hold Noah’s to his face.
“You always know me better than anyone.” Luke closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them and looking into Noah’s eyes again. “Could we move on together?”
Noah wrapped his arms around Luke’s waist and pulled him close. “Of course we can. You will always be home to me Luke. This place will always be home. I just couldn’t be here without you anymore.”
“We have some stuff to work on.” Luke’s arms were around Noah’s neck, holding on like he was afraid that Noah would push him away.
Noah wasn’t going to let that happen again.
“Yes, we do. And I have a plane to catch.” He looked at his watch. He had a few minutes left. “How did you know when to be here, anyway?” Noah looked at the security guard, but the man was smiling at them with the “awwww” look on his face.
Luke chuckled. “You always did like to get up crazy-assed early. This was the first flight to LA this morning. I took a chance.”
“I’m so glad you did.” Noah leaned down and kissed him, unwilling to wait for one more second. It started chaste but quickly heated, only breaking apart when the security guard cleared his throat.
“Sorry guys, but that car really does need to be moved or I’m gonna have to tow it.”
Luke’s eyes widened. “Shit, my bags are in the car! Can you get me a ticket while I run and park the car? I’ll call dad to come and pick it up.”
“Luke, you don’t have to get this flight. You can’t be ready to go yet. I can’t wait a little longer for you to get to LA.” He didn’t want Luke making a decision he was going to regret.
Luke shook his head. “Nope, I have the important stuff in the car. Mom and dad will ship the rest. No more waiting.”
“No more waiting.” He kissed Luke quickly and then pushed him toward the door. “Go, do what you have to. I’ll get your ticket.”
Luke looked reluctant as he started toward the entrance. “You’ll be right here?”
Noah smiled. “Promise. I won’t go without you.”
Luke grinned. “Okay. Love you Noah…more than anything.”
He was almost to the door when Noah called out to him. “Same here!”
Luke rushed off and Noah turned and walked back to the ticket counter.
He guessed that moving on doesn’t always have to mean leaving everything behind as you go to your future. Some things are worth taking with you.
Author: cindyls1969
Oneshot
Summary: Noah goes home but finds out it's not where he needs to be...he needs to move on.
A/N: So, I heard this song walking to work this morning and my mind automatically went to Luke and Noah. I saw Noah walking away but of course, my Nuke heart can't have an ending like that, so this is what I came up with. And here is the song. http://youtu.be/IiHhTdg8qrc
Noah walked into the lounge at the Lakeview, desperate for a drink before heading to bed. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting when he finally gave in and came home to Oakdale for Thanksgiving dinner, but Luke snuggling on the porch with another man was pretty much the last thing he thought he’d encounter.
It was the second Thanksgiving since he’d headed to LA and Lily and Emma had been pestering him constantly. After 13 calls between them he’d finally said yes and hopped on a plane the day before.
When he got out of the cab at the farm and opened the door to the porch, Luke had jumped off the bench and given Noah an awkward hug before introducing Bill. Apparently he and Luke went to school together and took a bunch of writing courses together.
How wonderful for them.
Noah had sat through dinner, everyone at the table deliberately ignoring the elephant in the room. Afterward, when the dishes and clean-up were done, Luke and Bill had excused themselves, leaving Noah to spend some “quality” time with his family.
Everyone had expressed their sympathy and encouraged him to wait just a little longer until Luke came to his senses. He had a feeling they were more deeply in denial than he had been.
Noah sighed and spotted an empty stool at the bar. Walking over, he sat down and ordered a scotch. He downed the first one and motioned for a second, ignoring the bartenders raised eyebrow.
As he downed the second one, the bottom dropped out of his stomach as Luke and Bill walked in, hand in hand and dropped into a booth in the corner. They hadn’t spotted him yet so he sat down to watch them for a few minutes. It would probably be the last time he would get to lay eyes on the man he still loved, so he decided to indulge himself a little.
He couldn’t help but smirk a little when he realized that Luke was nowhere near as comfortable with Bill as he’d been with Noah. It was the little things that gave him away. Luke had always been plastered to Noah’s side when they had gone out together. There was space between him and Bill.
And when the other man had reached out to hold Luke’s hand, Luke had pulled away, smiling a little to soften the rejection. Luke had always loved holding hands with Noah. In fact he’d played with Noah’s hands constantly as they sat talked for hours.
As he watched them talk, Noah knew this would be the last time he’d come back to Oakdale. It was too hard, and nothing would ever change here. It was like everyone he knew was holding their breath and waiting for Noah and Luke to get back together.
But Noah was done waiting. Luke had moved on and it was time for Noah to as well. Putting it off was only going to make things harder. Tomorrow he’d head back to LA and hopefully he’d be able to make a start at learning how not to love Luke Snyder.
Noah downed the last of his scotch and got up to leave. As he threw some money down on the bar, someone turned on the Jukebox in the corner and the song that started up stopped Noah in his tracks.
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
Noah couldn’t help but chuckle. Maybe fate was telling him that he’d made the right decision. But first…
He whirled around and walked over to Luke and held out his hand. “May I have this dance?”
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
Luke stood without a word and took Noah’s hand. They walked over to the dance floor and immediately moved into each other’s arms.
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
It wasn’t smooth. They barely managed not to trip over each other, but then again, they’d always been terrible dancers. But after all this time, they still fit.
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
Noah knew the song was almost over so he held Luke a little tighter, just for a moment before pushing him back gently.
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
Those gorgeous café au lait eyes still seemed to peer right into Noah’s soul, even now when they were filled with confusion. Noah reached up and framed Luke’s face in both his hands and leaned down to kiss him, one last time. When he pulled back, he smiled. “I love you Luke. Think I always will. But it’s time for me to let go, one last time. I’m moving on.”
With that he let go of Luke and backed toward the door. Once he reached it, he turned and walked through it and wouldn’t let himself take one last look over his shoulder. Instead, he just whispered to himself as he walked to his room. “I’m moving on.”
The next morning he packed everything up and called for a taxi to the airport. He’d decided that he’d send Lily a message once he was in the air so that she wouldn’t be able to talk him out of going. Was it the coward’s way out? Probably, but it was the best he could do at the moment.
He checked out quickly and waited for his cab out front. When it arrived, he threw his duffle in the trunk and then climbed in the back. He could feel the tears pressing at the back of his eyes but he forgave himself that moment of weakness. He was leaving the only real home he’d ever had. A few tears were allowed.
He settled back into the seat for the trip to the airport and let his eyes drift shut. It wouldn’t take long and Oakdale would be nothing but vibrant memories.
When he got to the airport it didn’t take long to check in and he was just heading for the security checkpoint when he heard his name being called.
“Noah…god damn it Noah! WAIT!” It was Luke, running through the airport with a security guard right behind him, obviously trying to get him to stop. Noah couldn’t help but grin. He could have told the guy that stopping Luke was almost impossible.
He stood and waited until Luke skidded to a stop in front of him. They looked at each other for a moment and then the security guard got to them.
“Sir, I told you before, you’re gonna have to move your car. You can’t leave it there.” The poor man was panting and Noah felt kinda bad for him.
Luke just glared. “I’ll do it in a minute. I just have to tell him something.” He pointed his thumb at Noah and then turned to face him. “You never said anything. You’ve been gone almost two years and not once did you say a fucking thing about still loving me or being ready to move on.”
Noah smiled at him sadly. “Because I was waiting for you. I told you I would and I thought I could wait forever. But I was wrong. It hurts too much.”
Luke’s big eyes filled up with tears. “I know. I’m sorry. I was just so scared. I didn’t know how to go forward with the past hanging on to me so hard. But I should have. Can you forgive me?”
“I can forgive you anything Luke, but not for being scared. That’s nothing you have to be sorry for.” He reached up and wiped the tears from Luke’s lashes. “What about Bill?”
“I don’t…I can’t…” He didn’t seem to be able to find the words he wanted to say, but Noah knew anyway.
“I know. I watched you with him. You weren’t comfortable.” Noah breathed a sigh of relief as Luke lifted his hand to hold Noah’s to his face.
“You always know me better than anyone.” Luke closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them and looking into Noah’s eyes again. “Could we move on together?”
Noah wrapped his arms around Luke’s waist and pulled him close. “Of course we can. You will always be home to me Luke. This place will always be home. I just couldn’t be here without you anymore.”
“We have some stuff to work on.” Luke’s arms were around Noah’s neck, holding on like he was afraid that Noah would push him away.
Noah wasn’t going to let that happen again.
“Yes, we do. And I have a plane to catch.” He looked at his watch. He had a few minutes left. “How did you know when to be here, anyway?” Noah looked at the security guard, but the man was smiling at them with the “awwww” look on his face.
Luke chuckled. “You always did like to get up crazy-assed early. This was the first flight to LA this morning. I took a chance.”
“I’m so glad you did.” Noah leaned down and kissed him, unwilling to wait for one more second. It started chaste but quickly heated, only breaking apart when the security guard cleared his throat.
“Sorry guys, but that car really does need to be moved or I’m gonna have to tow it.”
Luke’s eyes widened. “Shit, my bags are in the car! Can you get me a ticket while I run and park the car? I’ll call dad to come and pick it up.”
“Luke, you don’t have to get this flight. You can’t be ready to go yet. I can’t wait a little longer for you to get to LA.” He didn’t want Luke making a decision he was going to regret.
Luke shook his head. “Nope, I have the important stuff in the car. Mom and dad will ship the rest. No more waiting.”
“No more waiting.” He kissed Luke quickly and then pushed him toward the door. “Go, do what you have to. I’ll get your ticket.”
Luke looked reluctant as he started toward the entrance. “You’ll be right here?”
Noah smiled. “Promise. I won’t go without you.”
Luke grinned. “Okay. Love you Noah…more than anything.”
He was almost to the door when Noah called out to him. “Same here!”
Luke rushed off and Noah turned and walked back to the ticket counter.
He guessed that moving on doesn’t always have to mean leaving everything behind as you go to your future. Some things are worth taking with you.