Walking the Red to your future.
Author: cindyls1969
One-shot
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Van/Jake
Summary: The GLAAD Awards had always been special to Jake and Van. Now Jake was there alone and wondering what's going on.
Prompted by: Gillian with "He laughed despite his embarrassement."
Prompting: cariad123 with "I have no idea where that came from!"
Jake stood uneasily on the red carpet, looking at the faces all around him. Some were familiar, some weren’t and he could tell he wasn’t the only one feeling slightly uncomfortable.
This was his seventh year attending the GLAAD awards and he wasn’t sure why he still came, but he would, as long as he kept getting invited. It was the least he could do for all the fans that had supported him starting with ATWT and who kept following him after the show had ended. Besides, it was definitely a good cause.
His agent hated the fact that Jake wouldn’t give this up. The man had been adamant that Jake distance himself as much as possible from the gay community, fearing that the association would hurt Jake’s career, but Jake had just tuned him out. This was important and he wasn’t going to be one of those Hollywood people who forgot where they came from and how they got started.
It was weird though, being here alone. He was pretty sure it was the reason for his discomfort. This was his and Van’s gig. They always made time for this event, no matter what else they were doing.
This year was different. Jake hadn’t heard from Van in three months. Every text had been ignored and all his calls had gone unanswered and unreturned. He didn’t know what was going on, but it had been hard to fly into LAX and not find his friend waiting for him at the gate.
Jake sighed and looked around. He smiled and nodded at a few people he recognized from other years, but he didn’t talk to anyone. As he got closer to the reporters who were stationed just outside the doors of the building, he had a sudden urge to turn and run.
Maybe he should stop coming. Without Van here by his side, he felt lost and alone and he didn’t like the feeling at all.
Jake lifted his hand and pulled the collar of his shirt away with one finger. He hated wearing suits. They always made him feel like was choking to death.
It was warm for May and he could feel the sweat running down his back and the feeling like he needed to escape just continued to get stronger.
As he neared the reporters, he looked around for a way out that wouldn’t cause a scene because the first woman in line with a microphone was one who’d been particularly pushy with him and Van before.
But there was nowhere to go but forward and so he squared his shoulders and stepped into the line of fire.
The woman extended her hand and Jake shook it warily.
She turned to face the camera. “Look ladies and gentlemen, it’s Jake Silbermann, one half of daytime TV’s former gay dynamic duo.” She turned to pierce Jake with a sly stare.
“So Jake, looks like your attending stag this year. Where’s your partner in crime? Did you and Mr. Hansis have a falling out?”
“Van had some commitments that he couldn’t get out of so this year I’m going solo. We’re fine, I promise.” He turned to walk on, but the reporter caught him by the wrist, holding him back.
“Oh come now, Jake. You expect us to believe that everything’s fine? I mean, Van lives here in LA now, and he’s not here? Something’s up, that’s for sure.” The woman’s smile was malicious and Jake felt like wiping it off her face, but he was raised to not hit women…even when they deserved it.
Jake laughed, despite his embarrassment. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of showing how much she was throwing him off. He opened his mouth to make a rude comment when suddenly the conspicuously empty space beside him was filled up and he looked down to find caramel eyes smiling up at him.
“Sorry I’m late. I had something to finish up at home before I could leave.”
Van’s eyes begged for forgiveness and Jake smiled, happier to see him than ever before.
“It’s no problem Van.” He gave Van’s shoulder a little squeeze before turning back to the reporter. “I guess you have your answer.”
He turned to move forward, pulling Van with him when he heard her speak to her cameraman. “Yeah right, they’re just friends. Probably been fucking for years.”
Jake stopped and tried to turn back to her but Van caught him by the front of the shirt. “Leave it Jake. Anything you say will just sound like denial anyway. It’s not worth losing your career over.”
Van’s hand rested on Jake’s chest, warm and comforting and Jake took a deep breath before smiling at him.
“Okay.” Taking another deep breath, moved forward, his arm still around Van and waited for the next reporter.
Having Van with him made the weird feeling go away and the rest of the walk down the red carpet ended without incident. They found their seats and settled in to watch.
Van was a people watcher. As long as there was something for him to see, he was happy. He pointed out people he knew and those he wanted to know, supplying Jake with tidbits of information just to make him smile.
Jake couldn’t take his eyes off Van, though. Something about him was off and he still didn’t have an explanation as to why he hadn’t heard from him in so long. His eyes were glassy and tired looking but he bet that anyone else looking at Van wouldn’t have noticed, because Van tended to distract people away from things he didn’t want them to see.
The suspense was killing Jake, but he had a feeling that it was probably best for the conversation to happen in private. Whatever was bothering Van, he was still happy to be where he was and with Jake, that much he could tell.
Van’s hand seemed to have a mind of its own and kept reaching for Jake’s as it rested on the arm of the seat between them, before pulling back at the last minute. After it happened for the fifth time, Jake reached up and grabbed it, tangling their fingers together.
It should have felt strange to be sitting there holding hands with Van, but it didn’t. It was like it was when they’d been on the set together. It was just something they did that made them both feel better when they were nervous.
Van looked startled and tried to pull away.
“Jake, don’t. Someone will see.”
Jake just held tighter. “I’m pretty sure we’re in the least judgemental place we could be in at the moment.”
Van shook his head. “Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “Someone could get the wrong idea, though and it would be bad for your career.” He’d stopped trying to pull away but he still looked worried.
Jake chuckled. “Van, I really don’t give a shit what people think, okay?” He looked into Van’s eyes, trying to read his emotions. “Do you want me to let go?”
It was the last thing he wanted to do, but he would if it was making Van uncomfortable. He wanted to help him, not make things worse.
“No.” Van was playing with Jake’s fingers, something he’d always liked to do when they were shooting. This time Jake knew it was so he could avoid meeting Jake’s eyes. “I was just trying to protect you.”
Jake reached up and touched his cheek, making Van look up at him. “I don’t need protecting…especially not from you.”
Van smiled shyly and nodded before looking back at the stage.
Jake’s heart was pounding in his chest but he ignored it. It wasn’t the first time that being around Van had made him feel this way and he had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last.
They watched the rest of the awards, talking quietly and when they were over, they got up and made their way to the lobby. Jake let go of Van’s hand because he didn’t want their exit to be impeded by nosy reporters and well-meaning friends.
Of course, they had to stop and chat a few times. Van found the courage to stop and introduce himself to Neil Patrick Harris and Jake was thrilled to be introduced to Jane Lynch but they didn’t stay long and declined all the invitations to the after parties.
When they finally made it outside, Jake grabbed Van by the arm and pulled him around the corner. When they had a little peace and quiet, Jake looked down at him.
“Where do you want to go?”
Van looked down at his feet then tilted his head to look up at Jake. “My place?”
“Isn’t he there?” Jake really wanted time alone with Van and he didn’t want to end up in the middle of a fight with the boyfriend.
He needn’t have worried though. “Not anymore…or ever again.”
Jake raised one eyebrow but Van just shrugged. “It’s been a long time coming. We both knew it.”
Jake nodded and reached out with one arm to pull Van close. His friend had given up so much to try and make that relationship work and the fact that it didn’t had to hurt like hell.
Van just rested his head on Jake’s shoulder, his arms tucked up between them as he let Jake comfort him.
“Did you drive?” Jake was in a hurry to get to Van’s so they could talk, and he’d gotten a cab to the awards show.
Van shook his head but didn’t look up, so Jake grabbed his phone and called for a cab, asking for the car to meet them at the side of the building instead of out front.
Jake just kept his arms around Van, holding him and running his fingers through his hair. It was enough for now.
When the taxi arrived, he bundled Van into the backseat and slid in beside him, giving the driver Van’s address. Taking Van’s hand in his once more, smiled at him and they road in silence to the apartment.
Jake paid the driver and pulled Van out behind him, never letting go of his hand.
Grabbing Van’s keys out of his hand, he opened the security door and led them to the elevator.
Neither of them was saying anything, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. Van was content to follow Jake’s lead for once and for that Jake was grateful.
They got onto the elevator and he pulled Van back into his embrace, the thought of letting him go never entering his head.
When they got off the elevator, he headed straight for Van’s door, his hand on the small of Van’s back and he could feel the heat coming off his skin even through his shirt and jacket.
Unlocking the apartment door, he gently shoved Van through. Once they were both in, Jake turned and locked the door before kicking off his shoes, giving a small grin when Van did the same.
They both shrugged out of their jackets and Jake took Van’s from him and hung them both in the closet. Van just stood there and waited, seemingly unwilling or unable to do anything without Jake’s direction.
When he was finished he turned back to Van and took his hand once again, leading him through the apartment to the living room.
Jake sat on the couch, facing sideways, one long leg stretched along the back, the other bent, with his foot flat on the floor. He tugged on Van’s hand until Van sat between his knees, curled up sideways with his head on Jake’s chest.
Jake wrapped his arms around him once more, leaning in to rest his cheek on the top of Van’s head.
“You wanna tell me about it?”
Van shook his head. “Nope. It’s done, has been for a while. He moved out quietly a few weeks ago. We’re still friends…at least we agreed to be.”
“Then you wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding my calls?” Jake kind of thought he knew, but it would be nice to have it confirmed.
Van reached up, playing with the buttons on the front of Jake’s shirt. “We didn’t break up because of you…that’s all on him and me.” He curled his fingers into the front of Jake’s shirt then let go and smoothed out the wrinkles with his hand.
“But I think we’ve been headed this way for a while…” He lifted his head and looked at Jake. “Us I mean…”
Van licked his lips nervously and Jake found himself copying the movement unconsciously.
“Am I reading this all wrong Jake? Am I fucking things up?”
Van looked so tired and so scared and Jake couldn’t stand that. He shook his head.
“No, you’re not reading it wrong.” He reached up and curled his hand around Van’s cheek.
Van leaned into the touch, the stubble on his face scraping across Jake’s palm and it felt so perfect that Jake couldn’t stop himself from kissing him.
He leaned in slowly, giving Van plenty of time to stop him if he wanted to, but he just watched as Jake’s lips met his before letting his eyes slide shut.
That first gentle touch was probably the most amazing thing Jake had ever felt. All his doubts and fears faded away as he wrapped one arm around Van’s waist and pulled him closer.
“Jake…” It was just one word that Van whispered so quietly that it was barely audible, but it made him want to hear his name spilling from Van’s lips as he cried out in passion.
Jake should have been freaking out. He’d never entertained sexual thoughts about man before meeting Van, but since the first time he saw him standing in the conference room during Jake’s audition, he couldn’t stop thinking about him.
At first Jake just assumed that he was a nervous and a little star-struck. Every time he was around Van, he got a fluttery feeling in his stomach and his heart sped up.
He never really let himself examine those feelings, however. There didn’t seem to be any point and at the time, Van had been very not available.
Now he was thinking about it and he knew that was right. They had been heading here all along. He was just sorry that they’d taken seven years to get to this point.
Van’s hands were on Jake’s waist and he shivered as Van pulled his dress shirt out of his pants and then finally there was the feeling of skin on skin.
Jake’s breath hitched in his throat. “Van…”
Van stopped moving, going unnaturally still. “You’re not ready…”
He sounded so broken-hearted that it made Jake’s heart ache.
“I am ready. I just needed to make sure you were. There’s no going back from this Van, and I don’t want to lose you.” Jake rubbed his hand up and down Van’s back, grateful when he started to relax under Jake’s touch.
Van looked up into Jake’s eyes. “I can’t promise this is gonna work. I’m not perfect and you’re not either.”
Jake leaned down and nipped the lobe of Van’s ear, grinning when he squeaked indignantly. “Speak for yourself Hansis. I’m practically perfect in every way.”
Van smacked him on the arm and chuckled. “Okay, Mary Poppins.” He sighed and leaned his head against Jake’s shoulder. “I want this Jake, more than I’ve wanted anything for a long time, but I don’t want to screw up your life.”
Jake leaned in and kissed the top of Van’s head, breathing in the faint smell of mint and the herbal shampoo that Van always used. It was musky and sweet and Jake wanted to be wrapped in the smell forever.
“The only thing that could screw up my life is not having you in it. Everything else is just icing.” He used one hand to life Van’s chin and leaned down to kiss him. Van’s lips parted instantly, letting Jake taste as much as he wanted.
When he pulled back, they were both panting. He looked down at Van, warm and smiling in his arms and knew that nothing was more important than this.
“I’ve loved you as my best friend for a long time, Van, but I never let myself consider the possibility of more.” He pressed another sweet kiss to Van’s lips. “Now I can’t see anything but more for us. More time, more happiness, more drama…” He lifted Van’s fingers to his mouth and kissed his fingers tenderly. “More of everything…especially love.”
Van’s eyes glittered with unshed tears, and Jake leaned in to kiss them away.
“I’d hoped for this Jake…and wished so hard.” Van nuzzled into Jake’s neck. “But I never really believed this could be real for us.”
He pulled back and looked up. “It’s real, right? I’m not dreaming this in some stupid soapy alternate reality?”
Jake just grinned at him and then reached down and pinched him hard on the hip just above the waistband of his pants. He laughed out loud when Van jumped and glared at him before pouting adorably at him.
“See, real…I promise.”
Van’s lips quirked up at the corners. “You could have found a less abusive way of proving it you know.”
“You want me to kiss it better?”
Van’s eyes darkened with lust. “Yes please.”
Jake pushed him back and slid his leg out from behind him before dropping to his knees on the floor between Van’s legs.
“Jake?”
Jake used Van’s tied to pull him in for a kiss, then loosened it and pulled it over his head. He tugged Van’s shirt out of his pants before unbuttoning it and pushing it off his shoulders.
Raking his eyes down Van’s torso, he soon found the red spot from where he’d been pinched. He looked up at Van’s face as he leaned down and licked over the small hurt.
The muscles in Van’s stomach rippled and he groaned quietly as Jake placed his lips against his side and suckled until the mark was dark and he knew it would be visible for days.
“Better?”
Van’s eyes were dazed as he nodded. “Yeah.” He shook his head. “I mean no, now something else hurts.”
Jake could feel Van’s cock where it was pressed up against his chest as he leaned over him.
He lifted one hand and stroked over the hard length, fascinated with how the lightest touch had Van’s hips bucking up for more.
“Please…don’t tease me Jake.” There was a desperate quality to Van’s voice that hit Jake in the gut.
Jake let his lips trail over Van’s abs until he could nuzzle in the line of soft hair under his navel. “Not teasing, baby. I promise.”
Touching Van was a revelation for Jake. Narrow hips and hard muscle felt as good as breasts under Jake’s hands. The skin above Van’s hip bones was soft and sensitive and the hair that Jake had been worried would turn him off felt amazing as he rubbed his cheek over it.
He felt Van pulling at him and looked up to see that he was trying to get Jake’s shirt and tie off. Jake pulled the tie loose and undid the top three buttons on the shirt before grabbing the hem and slipping it over his head, ignoring the pinging of two or three buttons as they bounced off the hardwood floor.
The way Van was looking at him made Jake feel like he was the most delicious thing he’d ever seen and he liked having Van’s eye on him like that. He stood up and popped the button on his pants before slowly pulling down the zipper. When they were loose enough, he pushed them and his underwear over his hips and let them pool on the floor. He stepped out of them and kicked them away before dropping back to his knees.
Reaching back, he quickly pulled off his socks and then surged forward to kiss Van again. When he had to stop to breath, he pushed Van back and lifted his hands to the waistband of his pants. A quick look at Van’s face gave him all the permission he needed to quickly undo them and then slide them off.
Van lifted his hips so Jake could pull them down, and Jake could smell his arousal. It was heady and so different from the way a woman smelled, and he couldn’t help but move in closer and nuzzle into Van’s groin as he finished removing his pants.
Van grunted in surprise, his hips lifting again at the feeling of Jake’s hot breath through the cotton of his underwear.
“God…Jake. Gonna fucking kill me.” His hands came up and curled into Jake’s hair. “Have you ever…”
Jake shook his head. “No. Never want to…until now.”
Lifting his hands, he ran them up the inside of Van’s thighs, reveling at the way the tiny hairs there felt against his palms. He looked up at Van again. “Can I?”
Van’s hands tightened in his hair, his eyes searching Jake’s face before nodding. “Yeah. Whatever you want.”
Jake grinned and ran his hands up to the waistband of Van’s briefs. Hooking his fingers over it, he pulled them down slowly, revealing Van’s cock little by little, watching with rapt attention as it sprung free.
He’d never really looked at another man’s cock before. Never had any reason to pay attention, but to Jake, Van’s was beautiful. It was uncut, unlike Jake’s, and when he reached up to wrap his hand around it, he found it was thicker than his own, if slightly shorter.
Giving it a few strokes, he was delighted when the head pushed out of the foreskin. He could feel the muscles in Van’s thighs clench where his arms rested on them, but he didn’t say anything, just moaned when Jake’s mouth got closer to Van’s cock.
“You’re so fucking beautiful all over.” He watched as a bead of clear fluid welled up from the slit and leaned in to taste it without thinking.
Van cried out and he let go of Jake’s hair with one hand to clutch the cushion on the couch.
Jake jerked his head up to look into Van’s eyes. “Should I stop?”
Van shook his head frantically. “Try and I’ll kill you.” He took a few deep breaths. “Just…I’m not sure how long I can hold on, okay? I’ve wanted this forever.”
Jake leaned up and kissed him, and he could feel Van’s cock leaving a damp trail on his stomach. It was one of the most erotic things he’d ever felt.
He looked down to where they were touching, his abs to Van’s cock and he stroked it against the skin of his stomach, watching as it twitched in his hand.
“Feels so amazing on me.” He did it again just to hear Van make the little sighing sound he’d made the first time.
Leaning down, he licked around the crown, learning the taste of Van, letting it linger on his tongue. It wasn’t like nectar or any romantic bullshit like that, but it was definitely something he could get used to, especially if it made Van make sounds like he was now.
Jake sucked the head into his mouth, sliding down as far as he could and stopped when he could feel himself start to gag. He let his tongue explore the veins and ridges on the bottom and discovered that pressing it just under the head made Van whine and his hips shift.
When he almost choked after Van’s hips bucked up again, Jake put one hand on Van’s hip and held him down. He continued his explorations, rubbing his nose against the soft skin of Van’s inner thighs just to make him gasp.
The noises falling from Van’s lips just spurred Jake on. When he pulled off and ran his tongue around the base of his cock, Van whimpered. When he pulled Van’s ass closer to the edge of the couch and rubbed a finger over the puckered skin of his hole, Van keened. It made Jake feel powerful and protective all at once.
Van was clutching at his shoulders again so Jake surged up and pulled him close so that he slid down onto Jake’s knees, straddling his lap.
“Jake…oh god. I can’t…” Jake kissed him to stop the babbling, but it was his turn to whine when he felt Van’s hand work between them to wrap around both their cocks.
“Van…”
Van just buried his face in Jake’s neck as he jacked them both slowly. Jake couldn’t do anything but hang on for dear life as the sensation of skin sliding over skin drove him closer to the brink.
Jake thrust up as much as he could, pushing little “uh…uh…uh” grunts out of Van and he could feel his orgasm start to rush up his spine.
Stroking his hand down Van’s back, he let his fingers curl over the cheek of his ass. When he fingers slipped down into the crease, they rubbed over Van’s entrance, causing him to jolt against Jake’s chest.
“Oh god…gonna come Jake.” Van’s hand sped up a little more. “Gonna get it all over you…my come dripping down your cock. You want that?”
Jake should have known Van would have a filthy mouth. He didn’t have many filters to begin with. Hearing those words come from his friend mouth, combined with the way Van’s teeth suddenly sank into his should, had Jake coming with a shout of Van’s name.
Van followed right behind him, making good on his promise and if Jake hadn’t just come his brains out, it would have made him hard again.
Wrapping his arms tighter around Van, he fought to get his breath under control. Once he could speak again, he lifted one hand to raise Van’s face up.
“You okay?”
Van’s smile was entirely too shy for someone who’d just jerked off his best friend while talking dirty. “Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?”
Jake chuckled. “Maybe…but at the moment, I’m too happy to care.”
When Van pulled his hand out from between them, his hand dripping with both of their releases, Jake looked around but all he could find was their dress shirts. Shrugging, he thrust it at Van and waited for him to clean up as best he could.
“Guess I’m gonna have to borrow a shirt when I leave.”
Van stiffened a little in his grasp. “When do you have to leave?”
Jake leaned in and snuffled at Van’s neck, giving in to the impulse to lick the sweat he found pooled there. He could feel Van’s shiver all over his body. “Well, I guess that depends?”
Van looked at him, raising one eyebrow. “On what?”
“On whether or not you want me walking around naked for the next two weeks.” He watched as Van grinned, his expression melting from worried to blissfully happy in a second.
“Well, you can be as naked at you want, but maybe we should get your stuff later today, so you don’t have to keep wasting your money on a hotel?” The hope in Van’s voice was endearing.
“Yeah, probably a good idea. I’ll get back to you on the naked part.” Jake’s legs were starting to stiffen up, not used to the cramped position. “I need to get up before I get stuck like this.”
Van blushed and quickly scrambled off Jake’s legs before offering him a hand up.
Once they were both standing, Jake pulled Van back into his arms. “We should go shower…then we need to talk, I think.”
Van nodded. “I know. I have some explaining to do.” He looked up at Jake. “What would you say if I told you that I miss New York and want to move home?”
Jake’s heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest with happiness. “I’d say New York misses you too.” He leaned down and kissed Van letting everything he felt flow through it. “And so do I…desperately.”
Van snuggled in closer, and Jake could feel the other man’s breath catch in his throat as he struggled to get control of his emotions.
“We’ll figure it out, I promise.”
Van nodded at Jake’s words before pulling away and grabbing Jake’s hand. As he was pulled along to the bathroom, Jake reflected on everything that had happened since he stepped on that red carpet.
There were things to figure out…their careers not the least of it…but he also knew that finally, after a long amazing journey, his life was finally starting to feel right again. He had a feeling that with Van by his side, they could work through anything and that's what mattered the most.
One-shot
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Van/Jake
Summary: The GLAAD Awards had always been special to Jake and Van. Now Jake was there alone and wondering what's going on.
Prompted by: Gillian with "He laughed despite his embarrassement."
Prompting: cariad123 with "I have no idea where that came from!"
Jake stood uneasily on the red carpet, looking at the faces all around him. Some were familiar, some weren’t and he could tell he wasn’t the only one feeling slightly uncomfortable.
This was his seventh year attending the GLAAD awards and he wasn’t sure why he still came, but he would, as long as he kept getting invited. It was the least he could do for all the fans that had supported him starting with ATWT and who kept following him after the show had ended. Besides, it was definitely a good cause.
His agent hated the fact that Jake wouldn’t give this up. The man had been adamant that Jake distance himself as much as possible from the gay community, fearing that the association would hurt Jake’s career, but Jake had just tuned him out. This was important and he wasn’t going to be one of those Hollywood people who forgot where they came from and how they got started.
It was weird though, being here alone. He was pretty sure it was the reason for his discomfort. This was his and Van’s gig. They always made time for this event, no matter what else they were doing.
This year was different. Jake hadn’t heard from Van in three months. Every text had been ignored and all his calls had gone unanswered and unreturned. He didn’t know what was going on, but it had been hard to fly into LAX and not find his friend waiting for him at the gate.
Jake sighed and looked around. He smiled and nodded at a few people he recognized from other years, but he didn’t talk to anyone. As he got closer to the reporters who were stationed just outside the doors of the building, he had a sudden urge to turn and run.
Maybe he should stop coming. Without Van here by his side, he felt lost and alone and he didn’t like the feeling at all.
Jake lifted his hand and pulled the collar of his shirt away with one finger. He hated wearing suits. They always made him feel like was choking to death.
It was warm for May and he could feel the sweat running down his back and the feeling like he needed to escape just continued to get stronger.
As he neared the reporters, he looked around for a way out that wouldn’t cause a scene because the first woman in line with a microphone was one who’d been particularly pushy with him and Van before.
But there was nowhere to go but forward and so he squared his shoulders and stepped into the line of fire.
The woman extended her hand and Jake shook it warily.
She turned to face the camera. “Look ladies and gentlemen, it’s Jake Silbermann, one half of daytime TV’s former gay dynamic duo.” She turned to pierce Jake with a sly stare.
“So Jake, looks like your attending stag this year. Where’s your partner in crime? Did you and Mr. Hansis have a falling out?”
“Van had some commitments that he couldn’t get out of so this year I’m going solo. We’re fine, I promise.” He turned to walk on, but the reporter caught him by the wrist, holding him back.
“Oh come now, Jake. You expect us to believe that everything’s fine? I mean, Van lives here in LA now, and he’s not here? Something’s up, that’s for sure.” The woman’s smile was malicious and Jake felt like wiping it off her face, but he was raised to not hit women…even when they deserved it.
Jake laughed, despite his embarrassment. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of showing how much she was throwing him off. He opened his mouth to make a rude comment when suddenly the conspicuously empty space beside him was filled up and he looked down to find caramel eyes smiling up at him.
“Sorry I’m late. I had something to finish up at home before I could leave.”
Van’s eyes begged for forgiveness and Jake smiled, happier to see him than ever before.
“It’s no problem Van.” He gave Van’s shoulder a little squeeze before turning back to the reporter. “I guess you have your answer.”
He turned to move forward, pulling Van with him when he heard her speak to her cameraman. “Yeah right, they’re just friends. Probably been fucking for years.”
Jake stopped and tried to turn back to her but Van caught him by the front of the shirt. “Leave it Jake. Anything you say will just sound like denial anyway. It’s not worth losing your career over.”
Van’s hand rested on Jake’s chest, warm and comforting and Jake took a deep breath before smiling at him.
“Okay.” Taking another deep breath, moved forward, his arm still around Van and waited for the next reporter.
Having Van with him made the weird feeling go away and the rest of the walk down the red carpet ended without incident. They found their seats and settled in to watch.
Van was a people watcher. As long as there was something for him to see, he was happy. He pointed out people he knew and those he wanted to know, supplying Jake with tidbits of information just to make him smile.
Jake couldn’t take his eyes off Van, though. Something about him was off and he still didn’t have an explanation as to why he hadn’t heard from him in so long. His eyes were glassy and tired looking but he bet that anyone else looking at Van wouldn’t have noticed, because Van tended to distract people away from things he didn’t want them to see.
The suspense was killing Jake, but he had a feeling that it was probably best for the conversation to happen in private. Whatever was bothering Van, he was still happy to be where he was and with Jake, that much he could tell.
Van’s hand seemed to have a mind of its own and kept reaching for Jake’s as it rested on the arm of the seat between them, before pulling back at the last minute. After it happened for the fifth time, Jake reached up and grabbed it, tangling their fingers together.
It should have felt strange to be sitting there holding hands with Van, but it didn’t. It was like it was when they’d been on the set together. It was just something they did that made them both feel better when they were nervous.
Van looked startled and tried to pull away.
“Jake, don’t. Someone will see.”
Jake just held tighter. “I’m pretty sure we’re in the least judgemental place we could be in at the moment.”
Van shook his head. “Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “Someone could get the wrong idea, though and it would be bad for your career.” He’d stopped trying to pull away but he still looked worried.
Jake chuckled. “Van, I really don’t give a shit what people think, okay?” He looked into Van’s eyes, trying to read his emotions. “Do you want me to let go?”
It was the last thing he wanted to do, but he would if it was making Van uncomfortable. He wanted to help him, not make things worse.
“No.” Van was playing with Jake’s fingers, something he’d always liked to do when they were shooting. This time Jake knew it was so he could avoid meeting Jake’s eyes. “I was just trying to protect you.”
Jake reached up and touched his cheek, making Van look up at him. “I don’t need protecting…especially not from you.”
Van smiled shyly and nodded before looking back at the stage.
Jake’s heart was pounding in his chest but he ignored it. It wasn’t the first time that being around Van had made him feel this way and he had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last.
They watched the rest of the awards, talking quietly and when they were over, they got up and made their way to the lobby. Jake let go of Van’s hand because he didn’t want their exit to be impeded by nosy reporters and well-meaning friends.
Of course, they had to stop and chat a few times. Van found the courage to stop and introduce himself to Neil Patrick Harris and Jake was thrilled to be introduced to Jane Lynch but they didn’t stay long and declined all the invitations to the after parties.
When they finally made it outside, Jake grabbed Van by the arm and pulled him around the corner. When they had a little peace and quiet, Jake looked down at him.
“Where do you want to go?”
Van looked down at his feet then tilted his head to look up at Jake. “My place?”
“Isn’t he there?” Jake really wanted time alone with Van and he didn’t want to end up in the middle of a fight with the boyfriend.
He needn’t have worried though. “Not anymore…or ever again.”
Jake raised one eyebrow but Van just shrugged. “It’s been a long time coming. We both knew it.”
Jake nodded and reached out with one arm to pull Van close. His friend had given up so much to try and make that relationship work and the fact that it didn’t had to hurt like hell.
Van just rested his head on Jake’s shoulder, his arms tucked up between them as he let Jake comfort him.
“Did you drive?” Jake was in a hurry to get to Van’s so they could talk, and he’d gotten a cab to the awards show.
Van shook his head but didn’t look up, so Jake grabbed his phone and called for a cab, asking for the car to meet them at the side of the building instead of out front.
Jake just kept his arms around Van, holding him and running his fingers through his hair. It was enough for now.
When the taxi arrived, he bundled Van into the backseat and slid in beside him, giving the driver Van’s address. Taking Van’s hand in his once more, smiled at him and they road in silence to the apartment.
Jake paid the driver and pulled Van out behind him, never letting go of his hand.
Grabbing Van’s keys out of his hand, he opened the security door and led them to the elevator.
Neither of them was saying anything, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. Van was content to follow Jake’s lead for once and for that Jake was grateful.
They got onto the elevator and he pulled Van back into his embrace, the thought of letting him go never entering his head.
When they got off the elevator, he headed straight for Van’s door, his hand on the small of Van’s back and he could feel the heat coming off his skin even through his shirt and jacket.
Unlocking the apartment door, he gently shoved Van through. Once they were both in, Jake turned and locked the door before kicking off his shoes, giving a small grin when Van did the same.
They both shrugged out of their jackets and Jake took Van’s from him and hung them both in the closet. Van just stood there and waited, seemingly unwilling or unable to do anything without Jake’s direction.
When he was finished he turned back to Van and took his hand once again, leading him through the apartment to the living room.
Jake sat on the couch, facing sideways, one long leg stretched along the back, the other bent, with his foot flat on the floor. He tugged on Van’s hand until Van sat between his knees, curled up sideways with his head on Jake’s chest.
Jake wrapped his arms around him once more, leaning in to rest his cheek on the top of Van’s head.
“You wanna tell me about it?”
Van shook his head. “Nope. It’s done, has been for a while. He moved out quietly a few weeks ago. We’re still friends…at least we agreed to be.”
“Then you wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding my calls?” Jake kind of thought he knew, but it would be nice to have it confirmed.
Van reached up, playing with the buttons on the front of Jake’s shirt. “We didn’t break up because of you…that’s all on him and me.” He curled his fingers into the front of Jake’s shirt then let go and smoothed out the wrinkles with his hand.
“But I think we’ve been headed this way for a while…” He lifted his head and looked at Jake. “Us I mean…”
Van licked his lips nervously and Jake found himself copying the movement unconsciously.
“Am I reading this all wrong Jake? Am I fucking things up?”
Van looked so tired and so scared and Jake couldn’t stand that. He shook his head.
“No, you’re not reading it wrong.” He reached up and curled his hand around Van’s cheek.
Van leaned into the touch, the stubble on his face scraping across Jake’s palm and it felt so perfect that Jake couldn’t stop himself from kissing him.
He leaned in slowly, giving Van plenty of time to stop him if he wanted to, but he just watched as Jake’s lips met his before letting his eyes slide shut.
That first gentle touch was probably the most amazing thing Jake had ever felt. All his doubts and fears faded away as he wrapped one arm around Van’s waist and pulled him closer.
“Jake…” It was just one word that Van whispered so quietly that it was barely audible, but it made him want to hear his name spilling from Van’s lips as he cried out in passion.
Jake should have been freaking out. He’d never entertained sexual thoughts about man before meeting Van, but since the first time he saw him standing in the conference room during Jake’s audition, he couldn’t stop thinking about him.
At first Jake just assumed that he was a nervous and a little star-struck. Every time he was around Van, he got a fluttery feeling in his stomach and his heart sped up.
He never really let himself examine those feelings, however. There didn’t seem to be any point and at the time, Van had been very not available.
Now he was thinking about it and he knew that was right. They had been heading here all along. He was just sorry that they’d taken seven years to get to this point.
Van’s hands were on Jake’s waist and he shivered as Van pulled his dress shirt out of his pants and then finally there was the feeling of skin on skin.
Jake’s breath hitched in his throat. “Van…”
Van stopped moving, going unnaturally still. “You’re not ready…”
He sounded so broken-hearted that it made Jake’s heart ache.
“I am ready. I just needed to make sure you were. There’s no going back from this Van, and I don’t want to lose you.” Jake rubbed his hand up and down Van’s back, grateful when he started to relax under Jake’s touch.
Van looked up into Jake’s eyes. “I can’t promise this is gonna work. I’m not perfect and you’re not either.”
Jake leaned down and nipped the lobe of Van’s ear, grinning when he squeaked indignantly. “Speak for yourself Hansis. I’m practically perfect in every way.”
Van smacked him on the arm and chuckled. “Okay, Mary Poppins.” He sighed and leaned his head against Jake’s shoulder. “I want this Jake, more than I’ve wanted anything for a long time, but I don’t want to screw up your life.”
Jake leaned in and kissed the top of Van’s head, breathing in the faint smell of mint and the herbal shampoo that Van always used. It was musky and sweet and Jake wanted to be wrapped in the smell forever.
“The only thing that could screw up my life is not having you in it. Everything else is just icing.” He used one hand to life Van’s chin and leaned down to kiss him. Van’s lips parted instantly, letting Jake taste as much as he wanted.
When he pulled back, they were both panting. He looked down at Van, warm and smiling in his arms and knew that nothing was more important than this.
“I’ve loved you as my best friend for a long time, Van, but I never let myself consider the possibility of more.” He pressed another sweet kiss to Van’s lips. “Now I can’t see anything but more for us. More time, more happiness, more drama…” He lifted Van’s fingers to his mouth and kissed his fingers tenderly. “More of everything…especially love.”
Van’s eyes glittered with unshed tears, and Jake leaned in to kiss them away.
“I’d hoped for this Jake…and wished so hard.” Van nuzzled into Jake’s neck. “But I never really believed this could be real for us.”
He pulled back and looked up. “It’s real, right? I’m not dreaming this in some stupid soapy alternate reality?”
Jake just grinned at him and then reached down and pinched him hard on the hip just above the waistband of his pants. He laughed out loud when Van jumped and glared at him before pouting adorably at him.
“See, real…I promise.”
Van’s lips quirked up at the corners. “You could have found a less abusive way of proving it you know.”
“You want me to kiss it better?”
Van’s eyes darkened with lust. “Yes please.”
Jake pushed him back and slid his leg out from behind him before dropping to his knees on the floor between Van’s legs.
“Jake?”
Jake used Van’s tied to pull him in for a kiss, then loosened it and pulled it over his head. He tugged Van’s shirt out of his pants before unbuttoning it and pushing it off his shoulders.
Raking his eyes down Van’s torso, he soon found the red spot from where he’d been pinched. He looked up at Van’s face as he leaned down and licked over the small hurt.
The muscles in Van’s stomach rippled and he groaned quietly as Jake placed his lips against his side and suckled until the mark was dark and he knew it would be visible for days.
“Better?”
Van’s eyes were dazed as he nodded. “Yeah.” He shook his head. “I mean no, now something else hurts.”
Jake could feel Van’s cock where it was pressed up against his chest as he leaned over him.
He lifted one hand and stroked over the hard length, fascinated with how the lightest touch had Van’s hips bucking up for more.
“Please…don’t tease me Jake.” There was a desperate quality to Van’s voice that hit Jake in the gut.
Jake let his lips trail over Van’s abs until he could nuzzle in the line of soft hair under his navel. “Not teasing, baby. I promise.”
Touching Van was a revelation for Jake. Narrow hips and hard muscle felt as good as breasts under Jake’s hands. The skin above Van’s hip bones was soft and sensitive and the hair that Jake had been worried would turn him off felt amazing as he rubbed his cheek over it.
He felt Van pulling at him and looked up to see that he was trying to get Jake’s shirt and tie off. Jake pulled the tie loose and undid the top three buttons on the shirt before grabbing the hem and slipping it over his head, ignoring the pinging of two or three buttons as they bounced off the hardwood floor.
The way Van was looking at him made Jake feel like he was the most delicious thing he’d ever seen and he liked having Van’s eye on him like that. He stood up and popped the button on his pants before slowly pulling down the zipper. When they were loose enough, he pushed them and his underwear over his hips and let them pool on the floor. He stepped out of them and kicked them away before dropping back to his knees.
Reaching back, he quickly pulled off his socks and then surged forward to kiss Van again. When he had to stop to breath, he pushed Van back and lifted his hands to the waistband of his pants. A quick look at Van’s face gave him all the permission he needed to quickly undo them and then slide them off.
Van lifted his hips so Jake could pull them down, and Jake could smell his arousal. It was heady and so different from the way a woman smelled, and he couldn’t help but move in closer and nuzzle into Van’s groin as he finished removing his pants.
Van grunted in surprise, his hips lifting again at the feeling of Jake’s hot breath through the cotton of his underwear.
“God…Jake. Gonna fucking kill me.” His hands came up and curled into Jake’s hair. “Have you ever…”
Jake shook his head. “No. Never want to…until now.”
Lifting his hands, he ran them up the inside of Van’s thighs, reveling at the way the tiny hairs there felt against his palms. He looked up at Van again. “Can I?”
Van’s hands tightened in his hair, his eyes searching Jake’s face before nodding. “Yeah. Whatever you want.”
Jake grinned and ran his hands up to the waistband of Van’s briefs. Hooking his fingers over it, he pulled them down slowly, revealing Van’s cock little by little, watching with rapt attention as it sprung free.
He’d never really looked at another man’s cock before. Never had any reason to pay attention, but to Jake, Van’s was beautiful. It was uncut, unlike Jake’s, and when he reached up to wrap his hand around it, he found it was thicker than his own, if slightly shorter.
Giving it a few strokes, he was delighted when the head pushed out of the foreskin. He could feel the muscles in Van’s thighs clench where his arms rested on them, but he didn’t say anything, just moaned when Jake’s mouth got closer to Van’s cock.
“You’re so fucking beautiful all over.” He watched as a bead of clear fluid welled up from the slit and leaned in to taste it without thinking.
Van cried out and he let go of Jake’s hair with one hand to clutch the cushion on the couch.
Jake jerked his head up to look into Van’s eyes. “Should I stop?”
Van shook his head frantically. “Try and I’ll kill you.” He took a few deep breaths. “Just…I’m not sure how long I can hold on, okay? I’ve wanted this forever.”
Jake leaned up and kissed him, and he could feel Van’s cock leaving a damp trail on his stomach. It was one of the most erotic things he’d ever felt.
He looked down to where they were touching, his abs to Van’s cock and he stroked it against the skin of his stomach, watching as it twitched in his hand.
“Feels so amazing on me.” He did it again just to hear Van make the little sighing sound he’d made the first time.
Leaning down, he licked around the crown, learning the taste of Van, letting it linger on his tongue. It wasn’t like nectar or any romantic bullshit like that, but it was definitely something he could get used to, especially if it made Van make sounds like he was now.
Jake sucked the head into his mouth, sliding down as far as he could and stopped when he could feel himself start to gag. He let his tongue explore the veins and ridges on the bottom and discovered that pressing it just under the head made Van whine and his hips shift.
When he almost choked after Van’s hips bucked up again, Jake put one hand on Van’s hip and held him down. He continued his explorations, rubbing his nose against the soft skin of Van’s inner thighs just to make him gasp.
The noises falling from Van’s lips just spurred Jake on. When he pulled off and ran his tongue around the base of his cock, Van whimpered. When he pulled Van’s ass closer to the edge of the couch and rubbed a finger over the puckered skin of his hole, Van keened. It made Jake feel powerful and protective all at once.
Van was clutching at his shoulders again so Jake surged up and pulled him close so that he slid down onto Jake’s knees, straddling his lap.
“Jake…oh god. I can’t…” Jake kissed him to stop the babbling, but it was his turn to whine when he felt Van’s hand work between them to wrap around both their cocks.
“Van…”
Van just buried his face in Jake’s neck as he jacked them both slowly. Jake couldn’t do anything but hang on for dear life as the sensation of skin sliding over skin drove him closer to the brink.
Jake thrust up as much as he could, pushing little “uh…uh…uh” grunts out of Van and he could feel his orgasm start to rush up his spine.
Stroking his hand down Van’s back, he let his fingers curl over the cheek of his ass. When he fingers slipped down into the crease, they rubbed over Van’s entrance, causing him to jolt against Jake’s chest.
“Oh god…gonna come Jake.” Van’s hand sped up a little more. “Gonna get it all over you…my come dripping down your cock. You want that?”
Jake should have known Van would have a filthy mouth. He didn’t have many filters to begin with. Hearing those words come from his friend mouth, combined with the way Van’s teeth suddenly sank into his should, had Jake coming with a shout of Van’s name.
Van followed right behind him, making good on his promise and if Jake hadn’t just come his brains out, it would have made him hard again.
Wrapping his arms tighter around Van, he fought to get his breath under control. Once he could speak again, he lifted one hand to raise Van’s face up.
“You okay?”
Van’s smile was entirely too shy for someone who’d just jerked off his best friend while talking dirty. “Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?”
Jake chuckled. “Maybe…but at the moment, I’m too happy to care.”
When Van pulled his hand out from between them, his hand dripping with both of their releases, Jake looked around but all he could find was their dress shirts. Shrugging, he thrust it at Van and waited for him to clean up as best he could.
“Guess I’m gonna have to borrow a shirt when I leave.”
Van stiffened a little in his grasp. “When do you have to leave?”
Jake leaned in and snuffled at Van’s neck, giving in to the impulse to lick the sweat he found pooled there. He could feel Van’s shiver all over his body. “Well, I guess that depends?”
Van looked at him, raising one eyebrow. “On what?”
“On whether or not you want me walking around naked for the next two weeks.” He watched as Van grinned, his expression melting from worried to blissfully happy in a second.
“Well, you can be as naked at you want, but maybe we should get your stuff later today, so you don’t have to keep wasting your money on a hotel?” The hope in Van’s voice was endearing.
“Yeah, probably a good idea. I’ll get back to you on the naked part.” Jake’s legs were starting to stiffen up, not used to the cramped position. “I need to get up before I get stuck like this.”
Van blushed and quickly scrambled off Jake’s legs before offering him a hand up.
Once they were both standing, Jake pulled Van back into his arms. “We should go shower…then we need to talk, I think.”
Van nodded. “I know. I have some explaining to do.” He looked up at Jake. “What would you say if I told you that I miss New York and want to move home?”
Jake’s heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest with happiness. “I’d say New York misses you too.” He leaned down and kissed Van letting everything he felt flow through it. “And so do I…desperately.”
Van snuggled in closer, and Jake could feel the other man’s breath catch in his throat as he struggled to get control of his emotions.
“We’ll figure it out, I promise.”
Van nodded at Jake’s words before pulling away and grabbing Jake’s hand. As he was pulled along to the bathroom, Jake reflected on everything that had happened since he stepped on that red carpet.
There were things to figure out…their careers not the least of it…but he also knew that finally, after a long amazing journey, his life was finally starting to feel right again. He had a feeling that with Van by his side, they could work through anything and that's what mattered the most.