curious...

[cindylouwho88]

So I had an old boyfriend from Memphis "friend" me on Facebook, on a secondary account that I hardly ever use and only have 24 friends on.  I was scratching my head because he and I were already friends on my primary FB.  So I go look and nope, he's no longer my friend.  Now last time I actually msged or talked to him was last summer.  He spends

Comments

[grail76]

If you watch TV or even a lot of films, you quickly run across the guy who goes to a new part of town or a city we haven't seen before and suddenly we meet his exceptionally close friend, his ex lover who probably had an amicable break up or failing that, still wants to boink him.
Now in the xxx years of the TV show, we haven't ever heard him mention them or often, even mention that he's been there, but now we meet this former intimate who pretty much gets with the probram in stride, barely even asking, "So, where the hell have you been?"

It's a problem with episodic writing, that in episode 35 you need a character that in episodes 1-34 you didn't know you needed and so you pop them up.

People watch these and begin to think that friendships don't need a lot of maintenance and when theirs do, something is wrong. You're crap or your friends are shallow because they don't pop up and down without missing a beat.

Elaine Boozler says, "Men want a deep intimate relationship with someone who will leave them alone." I think this is a part of that and it may just be a male sensibility to want intimacy without having to maintain it.

So, I suspect that your friend wanted a sense that he was important even when he did nothing to warrant it. When he slipped out at the party he was upset that no one said after a few minutes, "Hey, where's Ralph?" He'd made himself invisible and then wondered at the secondary effects:

Out of sight, out of mind.

[cindylouwho88]

Yes, per usual, you hit the nail on the head J. Wanting attention and initmacy w/o fostering it. Maybe if Ralph was wearing a lampshade and made an exit? You notice when the loud, obnoxious ones leave...or the ones that post wise words of wisdom, you miss that too when it's gone :)

[grail76]

The thing I like about facebook is I have a window into the lives of friends and relatives I rarely interact with. What I hate about it is people I'd grown to know fairly well on LJ don't make the long, "Here's what is going on in my life these days," posts that let me get to know them.

I miss that.

[cindylouwho88]

yes on both points. Although sometimes I feel flakey in that that IS how I keep up with people. But I guess some contact is better than no contact.