(no subject)
Okay...
So it's four o'clock now. I've been sitting at the end of the futon against the wall... curled up in a tight ball like a scared little girl. I haven't stopped crying since I last posted all of a half-hour ago. I should be writing a paper, but I can't focus on anything. I just want to scream... anything to stop the strange pain I've caused for myself. But instead, I sit quietly sobbing with FLOODS of tears filling my hands. I can't wake him up though. He needs sleep more than I need him right now. What good would him waking up really do? He's snoring, so he's definitely OUT... He won't be up any time soon. I have the room to myself. Just my luck. I'm totally wired and all I can think about is running home to be alone. I'm just so lonely tonight.
Fucking hormones and Broken heart.
In other news...
I'm clearly not so Agnostic as I'd thought. When I'm more rational, I may be... but for now, it turns out that when I'm scared, crying, and alone--I plead and beg out loud to someone who's not around. Subconsciously, I guess I do believe. There could be no one else I'm talking to. There's no one here but me...