I told you so...
Title: Over You
Author: Cinderlily
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Summary: I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you - Colin Hay
Author's Note: You guys have officially rocked my world, honestly. The response from the last piece I wrote made my day/week/month so much brighter, that I actually wrote again, which is rare cause usually I get intimidated, but no! This time it is a angst fic, sorry. That is what I write mostly, but I am trying to experiment with my style, so go with me? No beta, so the problems are my own (and there are many ;))
Rating: Hrmph? PG. Haven't dipped my toes in to smut yet, I am a bit nervous about that yet. :)
Disclaimer: Forgot this last time. I DO NOT own Nick or Greg. They would get a LOT more time together on screen. "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" is sung by Colin Hay and is on the FANTASTIC Garden State Soundtrack :)
Really hope you all like it :)
Greg lifted the mug of expensive coffee to his lips and took a long sip. It was a quiet night, and he didn't know if the coffee was the best idea when he was already stir crazy, but it tasted good and it was something to fill the time. He felt the need to talk to someone, but the only people in his eye line were Nick and Hodges. The latter quickly laughed off, he had to remind himself he couldn't talk to Nick anymore.
And it was a weird thing to remind himself of that, even if it had been over a month since they had last talked, or actually talked. He didn't count the handing off and back of DNA to be any form of actual conversation. Even though these interactions used to be everything to him at work, used to feel almost intimate, the current manifestation of Nick walking in handing over the plastic and walking out felt mechanical and almost sterile. Greg had to remind himself that the intimacy was born of their own intimacy and that the sterilization was bound to happen in their lack of intimacy.
It didn't make it hurt any less.
He took another sip, even longer this time, and when he lowered the glass his eyes were met with Grissom, and he had to suppress a surprised yelp. He hated how quiet and intimidating his boss could be, especially when he wanted to.
"Uh... What do you need?"
Gil lifted a bag with three long yellow hairs in them, "could you tell me anything with these hairs?"
Without the energy to come up with any quip or response, he lifted the mug, drained the coffee he had left and placed it in the sink. As he walked by Grissom, he took the bag and headed towards his lab, thankful for any reason to be doing anything. He felt, rather than heard, his boss following closely behind him.
"Page Nick when you are done, its for his case."
He nodded and bit his tongue to make sure he didn't end up giving anything away.
~
A half an hour later he reluctantly paged Nick, having thoroughly exhausted any test he could use as a time filler. He was shocked at how quickly the man responded, but tried his best not to show it when he was handing over the sheet.
"I ran the DNA through all the systems and couldn't find anything. I can tell you that it was a female, and that she was quite a fan of High Times Magazine, if you get my meaning." He forced a small smile, tried to make himself seem natural.
"So our Jane Doe smoked a lot of marijuana?" Nick didn't remove his eyes from the paper, scanning it for all the information it might contain.
"Guess you could call her a Mary-Jane Doe?" Greg said, and mentally patted himself on the back. That is something the old Greg would have said. That was the old natural him. Or the new fake natural him.
Nick looked up and gave a half smile, didn't say a word and walked away. Greg took it as a mini victory.
He didn't want it to be awkward, that is why it had ended in the first place. Or not started. Or whatever. Truth be told, he wasn't sure what had gone on between him and Nick, but he it didn't matter now. Nick had made it clear a few weeks ago that he didn't want to continue whatever it had been, didn't want to risk their jobs, their credibility, and Nick's nice comfortable place in the closet. And Greg had said that was okay.
He didn't want it to be uncomfortable for the two of them. Didn't want Nick to think that he was completely desolate with out him, because he wasn't. He went out at least once a week, and went to bars that had semi lewd crowds where he could dance and drink and pretend to be interested in guys whose arms were bigger than his head. He didn't want Nick to think him depressed when he wasn't, he just was mellowed out and tired lately. So he played the part, and smiled and laughed and went out and did all the things he didn't want to do.
So he made bad puns instead of saying "I miss you."
Made small, self deprecating comments instead of, "I love you."
He ate dinner out side by himself instead of saying "I wish you missed me too."
And he laughed it off and told Nick that he was "fine" instead of telling him the truth, that he wasn't entirely sure he even knew what "fine" felt like, and that he had the sinking sensation that he could live to be 100 and still never mend the slight tear in his heart. That he could think about it until his hair turned grey, but he would never fully understand the reason they weren't together.
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you - Colin Hay
L.
Author: Cinderlily
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Summary: I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you - Colin Hay
Author's Note: You guys have officially rocked my world, honestly. The response from the last piece I wrote made my day/week/month so much brighter, that I actually wrote again, which is rare cause usually I get intimidated, but no! This time it is a angst fic, sorry. That is what I write mostly, but I am trying to experiment with my style, so go with me? No beta, so the problems are my own (and there are many ;))
Rating: Hrmph? PG. Haven't dipped my toes in to smut yet, I am a bit nervous about that yet. :)
Disclaimer: Forgot this last time. I DO NOT own Nick or Greg. They would get a LOT more time together on screen. "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" is sung by Colin Hay and is on the FANTASTIC Garden State Soundtrack :)
Really hope you all like it :)
Greg lifted the mug of expensive coffee to his lips and took a long sip. It was a quiet night, and he didn't know if the coffee was the best idea when he was already stir crazy, but it tasted good and it was something to fill the time. He felt the need to talk to someone, but the only people in his eye line were Nick and Hodges. The latter quickly laughed off, he had to remind himself he couldn't talk to Nick anymore.
And it was a weird thing to remind himself of that, even if it had been over a month since they had last talked, or actually talked. He didn't count the handing off and back of DNA to be any form of actual conversation. Even though these interactions used to be everything to him at work, used to feel almost intimate, the current manifestation of Nick walking in handing over the plastic and walking out felt mechanical and almost sterile. Greg had to remind himself that the intimacy was born of their own intimacy and that the sterilization was bound to happen in their lack of intimacy.
It didn't make it hurt any less.
He took another sip, even longer this time, and when he lowered the glass his eyes were met with Grissom, and he had to suppress a surprised yelp. He hated how quiet and intimidating his boss could be, especially when he wanted to.
"Uh... What do you need?"
Gil lifted a bag with three long yellow hairs in them, "could you tell me anything with these hairs?"
Without the energy to come up with any quip or response, he lifted the mug, drained the coffee he had left and placed it in the sink. As he walked by Grissom, he took the bag and headed towards his lab, thankful for any reason to be doing anything. He felt, rather than heard, his boss following closely behind him.
"Page Nick when you are done, its for his case."
He nodded and bit his tongue to make sure he didn't end up giving anything away.
~
A half an hour later he reluctantly paged Nick, having thoroughly exhausted any test he could use as a time filler. He was shocked at how quickly the man responded, but tried his best not to show it when he was handing over the sheet.
"I ran the DNA through all the systems and couldn't find anything. I can tell you that it was a female, and that she was quite a fan of High Times Magazine, if you get my meaning." He forced a small smile, tried to make himself seem natural.
"So our Jane Doe smoked a lot of marijuana?" Nick didn't remove his eyes from the paper, scanning it for all the information it might contain.
"Guess you could call her a Mary-Jane Doe?" Greg said, and mentally patted himself on the back. That is something the old Greg would have said. That was the old natural him. Or the new fake natural him.
Nick looked up and gave a half smile, didn't say a word and walked away. Greg took it as a mini victory.
He didn't want it to be awkward, that is why it had ended in the first place. Or not started. Or whatever. Truth be told, he wasn't sure what had gone on between him and Nick, but he it didn't matter now. Nick had made it clear a few weeks ago that he didn't want to continue whatever it had been, didn't want to risk their jobs, their credibility, and Nick's nice comfortable place in the closet. And Greg had said that was okay.
He didn't want it to be uncomfortable for the two of them. Didn't want Nick to think that he was completely desolate with out him, because he wasn't. He went out at least once a week, and went to bars that had semi lewd crowds where he could dance and drink and pretend to be interested in guys whose arms were bigger than his head. He didn't want Nick to think him depressed when he wasn't, he just was mellowed out and tired lately. So he played the part, and smiled and laughed and went out and did all the things he didn't want to do.
So he made bad puns instead of saying "I miss you."
Made small, self deprecating comments instead of, "I love you."
He ate dinner out side by himself instead of saying "I wish you missed me too."
And he laughed it off and told Nick that he was "fine" instead of telling him the truth, that he wasn't entirely sure he even knew what "fine" felt like, and that he had the sinking sensation that he could live to be 100 and still never mend the slight tear in his heart. That he could think about it until his hair turned grey, but he would never fully understand the reason they weren't together.
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you - Colin Hay
L.