goodbye, summer.
are you infinite like the best? are you a barbie like the rest? are you smiling with your friends and missing your exes like the rest? are you crying and listening to emo music with the rest? are you starting school with the rest?
i am.
hello, school year. hello, depression (once again). hello, black clothes and chipped nailpolish and people looking at you funny cause they think youre all punk now. hello, new friends and old friends and running down the halls screaming like psychos - just like we used to do.
you have a little mouth
i want to suck your soul out through it
your smile fills my head up with nostalgia
i feel like crying when i talk to you
i miss your little mouth
and big breasts straining against
the greens and pinks of your preppy t-shirts
with "hollister" or "abercrombie" or
"aeropostale" scrawling across them
in letters that hug your chest like i wish
i could do
you have such bright eyes
they remind me of a bird's staring
without the beady glare of suspicion attached
and i don't know how many times i've said this
in the past two years
but i miss your little mouth
i miss your hair in my face when i hugged you
and i miss lying in the same bed as you
and turning to see you when you were asleep,
your eyes closed tight and your body
rising and falling with every peaceful
breath
i miss everything about you and
i can't stop myself from ignoring you when
i see you cause you make me so fucking
nervous its like all of my body parts are
shaking every time i try to talk and i try to
sound so nonchalant and so cool with my
insouciant hand waves to yard duties
and the way my friends look at me in astonishment
that's akin to awe when i brush off a
teacher's reprimand or a yard duty's reminder
that we're "not supposed to sit on the tables"
but your eyes never see me
and your little mouth never speaks my name
hello, eighth grade.