the end
the fairie tale that i chose to live my life in the past year and a half has finally ended in a flaming crash and burn....
Ryan and I aren't friends....we were never going to be friends....I should have known that he would show his spots again and you can't teach an old dog new tricks
And in the end he tried to make me feel guilty for what was happening....his drinking again was my fault....I was the horrible one
Really, what it came down to is I was a thing to him....a possession....and as soon as someone else was in possession of me, he threw me away like a cheap toy
Because that was what I was to him.....and maybe that is what I am to everyone
It's all getting old...the game is getting old
I don't know why I keep on playing....maybe because I don't know anything else to do....maybe because I am also bored.....maybe because in some sick and twisted way I get pleasure out of being hurt time and time again
Whatever the reason my be I find myself wanted to hide from the world or drink away my pain...and for the time being that is exactly what I will do
Ryan and I aren't friends....we were never going to be friends....I should have known that he would show his spots again and you can't teach an old dog new tricks
And in the end he tried to make me feel guilty for what was happening....his drinking again was my fault....I was the horrible one
Really, what it came down to is I was a thing to him....a possession....and as soon as someone else was in possession of me, he threw me away like a cheap toy
Because that was what I was to him.....and maybe that is what I am to everyone
It's all getting old...the game is getting old
I don't know why I keep on playing....maybe because I don't know anything else to do....maybe because I am also bored.....maybe because in some sick and twisted way I get pleasure out of being hurt time and time again
Whatever the reason my be I find myself wanted to hide from the world or drink away my pain...and for the time being that is exactly what I will do