But I believe in you so much, I could die for the words that you say
I just got home from seeing The Passion of Dracula on campus. It wasn't that great of a show. Maybe I overhyped it or maybe I'm just too tired to sit in a theatre tonight. Last night was Halloween. It was really fucking lame. I went to see the Exorcist (which was cool) and then to McDonalds (which made my stomach hurt) and then to a Halloween party of some of my friends (which was really gross with all these random people). It was at Amanda's boyfriend's house, and their house is usually pretty rank - but there were just ALL these people. It wasn't like people that I didn't know and my friends did. It was just random people from the street in this little house. All I could think of was that this is way too out of control. The music was so loud, and I figured it was only moments before the party would get busted. We were waiting on some of our other friends to get there, and then after they got there, my ride wanted to leave. I wanted to stay to be with my friends, but the smoke and the confinement were getting to me anyway. Then, I just came home, had a giant White Russian, and went to call Joe. He was too tired to talk (yet another disappoint of the night). Then, I had to wake up way fucking early to go to the library (for 5 hours....) to research two papers. This week I have three papers, three tests, and reading and typing notes to catch up on. I'm so fucking stressed. Joe came to Boulder last weekend. It was the best weekend of my life. I think I had a better time with him here this weekend then I even did this summer. It was so nice being to stay in bed all night together and just hold one another. I took him to see the Colorado vs. Oklahoma game. We lost, but we played really awesome. The weekend was so good, and I really miss him. We got into a big fight on Tuesday because I was so stressed with school I made a comment about how I just wanted to take a semester off and just ski. He said he wouldn't want to date a bum. Basically he said that the didn't want to date me if I was going to do that. I understand where he was coming from because he and I both value hardwork. But I'm just way too fucking stressed. I need an entire day to just sleep, but I don't have that luxury right now. I just hope that things straighten out with Joe. He sent me a dozen roses. They have yellow, orange, pale yellowishorange, and rose pink. There are three of each color, and my room smells so amazing. I think they really helped me get through this last week. He keeps having so much shit to do - people's birthdays, etc. - and I just want him to stay in one night just to talk to me. Instead, it seems like he's going out more than ever, and I just wish I could be going out with him. I know he missed me too; I guess I just want to feel a bit more important to him. I need to get to bed. I have to wake up fucking early to write two papers.