I wanna stay here... indefinitely
So today is August 1st. That means I have only 18 days left with Joseph before I leave. That means it is only 18 days until my heart will have to be disconnected from my body and I'll have to discover a word more powerful than lonely because lonely won't begin to include all of my feelings of loss. On Wednesday night, Joe went with me to Central Mall to pick up two birthday presents. We went to Dillard's, and I bough Becky and Mary bracelets. When we were there, I pointed out this really cool necklace with koi fish, like on the actually CD for Incubus' Morning View. The two fish dangle from a little turquoise rock, which is connected to this shimmering, square beads. Anyway, he saw that I really liked it, and we left because the store was closing. Then yesterday, I went with him back to Best Buy to get another CD player installed into the caddy because his was malfunctioning. I always put stuff in the glove compartment, and I was looking for my keys. The first thing I did was open it, and there was a box that said, "I love the baby" on it. One night I was stoned, and I kept calling myself the baby. He always calls me baby, but I kept saying "the" in front of it because it was really funny, especially the voice in which I was saying it. So, I opened the box, and there was the necklace from the night before. It was so simple but so very thoughtful. It just made me realize even more how much Joe makes me happy. When I looked at my cell phone and saw today was August 1st, my heart hurt. I can't fathom leaving, and now I have the whole day to think of that. I was supposed to work, but I already took my shower and was dressed when I saw the voicemail from my boss saying it's really slow and I can just come in next week. I was relieved because I'm sore and tired, but I'm not tired enough to go back to sleep. I have a lot of stuff to do today, so I'm going to get working on that. I have errands and laundry. I really want to hit up the gym too. I have to be at dad's by 4, so I better start my stuff. It's odd the way day's off can be more stressful than days working.