My Mother
I love my mother. I do. But I can't handle being around her for too long. Then I say things that are truthful, but extremely hurtful, and she cries, and now I feel like shit because I made her feel like shit.
Since we've gotten home all she's done is snap at me. I try to help her and she thinks I'm pushing her, or second guessing her.. and she's right - I am second guessing her, but usually I'm right when I do that. But I can understand why that would be hard for her. Still, even when I'm honestly just trying to help her, she jumps all over me and gets whiney and fussy; and I've seriously had it with that. I don't want to fight with her like she fights with her mother, which is basically every time they talk.
I told her she was selfish. That all she's talked about is her weight, and that when my sister called (who's been in rome for a month, and I haven't talked to in about 3 weeks) she should have let me talk to her. I shouldn't have said any of that.
She lost it. She told me how hard it was for her with my dad being gone so much. How lonely she was. How her friends have "had it with her". She said she has no friends. She was in mid-confession when my sister called again. She picked it up and talked to Kelly, and then gave me the phone. Then I lost it, but was trying to have a conversation with my sister...
I feel like a huge ass. I need to be more patient with her. But if I don't tell her how she's coming across to people, she wont figure it out. and I bet why her friends are stepping away from her is because all she talks about is her self. She's really bad about letting other people participate in conversations. And I know her, and she'll obsess about what I said to her for a long time. At least for the four hours she's driving by herself up north right now. That's the worst, when you've got one thing on your mind that's depressing and you're by yourself for an extended amount of time. And its my fault she feels that way.
I need to find a way to make it up to her.
Since we've gotten home all she's done is snap at me. I try to help her and she thinks I'm pushing her, or second guessing her.. and she's right - I am second guessing her, but usually I'm right when I do that. But I can understand why that would be hard for her. Still, even when I'm honestly just trying to help her, she jumps all over me and gets whiney and fussy; and I've seriously had it with that. I don't want to fight with her like she fights with her mother, which is basically every time they talk.
I told her she was selfish. That all she's talked about is her weight, and that when my sister called (who's been in rome for a month, and I haven't talked to in about 3 weeks) she should have let me talk to her. I shouldn't have said any of that.
She lost it. She told me how hard it was for her with my dad being gone so much. How lonely she was. How her friends have "had it with her". She said she has no friends. She was in mid-confession when my sister called again. She picked it up and talked to Kelly, and then gave me the phone. Then I lost it, but was trying to have a conversation with my sister...
I feel like a huge ass. I need to be more patient with her. But if I don't tell her how she's coming across to people, she wont figure it out. and I bet why her friends are stepping away from her is because all she talks about is her self. She's really bad about letting other people participate in conversations. And I know her, and she'll obsess about what I said to her for a long time. At least for the four hours she's driving by herself up north right now. That's the worst, when you've got one thing on your mind that's depressing and you're by yourself for an extended amount of time. And its my fault she feels that way.
I need to find a way to make it up to her.