Fic (Complete): Mouthing Off (Glee, Kurt/Finn) 1/1
Title: Mouthing Off
Author: Aristide
Fandom/Pairing: Glee, Kurt/Finn
Rating: NC-17 for m/m shenanigans
Summary: Extreme silliness and relentless pornography.
Author’s notes: My Beloved Ash just let me know that her boyfriend broke his leg in a fall. He’s in surgery, she’s half a world away from her family, and they are unreachable right now for a variety of reasons. So I told her I would porn for her, in an effort to take her mind off it. Ash, this porny amuse-bouche is for you. I love you, and I hope your fella will heal quickly and well!
***
Despite the challenges presented, Kurt was very excited by the idea of going down on Finn-he looked forward to it as the fulfillment of a fondly-cherished and long-held fantasy.
However much he was excited about it, though, it didn’t hold a candle to how excited Finn seemed to be: the first time Kurt tried it, he laid a line of wet kisses all the way down to Finn’s cute little bellybutton before Finn realized where things were headed, gasped, and abruptly came all over Kurt’s chin. So the next time Kurt switched tactics, working his way up from the bottom under the sheets, licking a long streak up Finn’s quivering, muscular thigh-only that time, Finn came in his hair, so, no.
After that, he tried the sneak-attack approach, but it never quite worked out, and after Finn had come on his shoulder, in his ear, and right in his fucking eye, Kurt had had enough.
“Okay,” Kurt said, handing Finn a piece of paper, “I’ve had enough. Take this.”
Finn looked a bit disappointed at having a piece of paper rather than a piece of Kurt shoved into his hands. “Uh. Okay.” He squinted. “What’s this?”
“Quadratic equation,” Kurt said coolly, pushing Finn flat on the bed and straddling him. “You know-the thing that almost made you flunk Algebra last year.”
Finn gave him a look. “Uh. Is this some kind of kink thing? Because I don’t think it’s… you know, that hot-”
“That’s the point,” Kurt responded, slapping a pencil into Finn’s hand. “You, solve these. Don’t pay attention to anything else. Talk through each problem. Out loud. And-” he tapped the paper, and reinforced the last words with the Eyebrow of Authority. “Show your work.”
He thought, he really thought, that it might work-but then Finn got stuck on the word ‘root’ and said something like ‘root-root-oh-god-suck-me-fuck-fuck-fuck’ and-splurt. Nope.
He tried baseball stats from the 2009-season Buckeyes, but that was worse than useless-apparently sports statistics were inherently hot, if you were Finn. He tried making Finn put on five condoms before they even started (five different colors, just because he could), but all Finn did was do his level best to fill all of them up just as Kurt was approaching the mummified monstrosity that was Finn’s rainbow dick.
He thought about smacking Finn over the head with a frying pan and blowing him while he was unconscious, but when he was ruthlessly honest with himself he had to admit that the possibility of brain damage was just not fully offset by the need he had to suck cock. Yet.
In the end, he fell back on a combination of physiology and pure pragmatism: he jerked Finn off while kissing him hotly, then jerked him off again while talking dirty right in his ear while Finn thrashed like a landed fish, then jerked him off again while licking and biting his nipples, so that Finn pumped into his hand and made some of the most amazing noises Kurt had ever heard and then came with a cry that was almost ear-splitting. Then, when Finn was boneless and helpless and just kind of staring at him with glassy, gratified, and possibly-slightly-frightened eyes, Kurt licked his lips and got down to business.
“Oh,” Finn said. “Kurt. Kurt. You… You have got to be fucking kidding me, I can’t-I really, I can’t-”
“Not right away, you won’t,” Kurt said, failing utterly to refrain from sounding extremely smug. “Now shut up and take it.”
Finn took it, but the shutting-up thing just wasn’t in the cards. Kurt closed his eyes and breathed and went to work on fitting Finn into his mouth, his throat, ignoring the stream issuing from above of babble and begging and some vocalizations that seemed to be dirty haikus-inelegant, and undoubtedly unintentional, yet impressive. But soon Finn had both fists in Kurt’s hair, and appeared to be doing his enervated best to fuck Kurt’s mouth while groaning like he was on the rack, and Kurt started to have a problem of his own-because this was every bit as hot as his Finn-addled brain had ever hoped it could be, but it looked like it was probably going to go on for a while, and in the meantime he was so, so hard-hard enough that he was starting to wonder whether Finn would notice if Kurt kind of surreptitiously got off against one of his ankles.
He stood it as long as he could, but his brain kept going other places, mostly irresistibly intriguing places, and in the end he pulled off of Finn’s cock with a desperate slurp, ignored Finn’s despairing cry and the tug on his hair, and swung himself all the way around, aiming his aching cock right at Finn’s gasping mouth.
“Finn, please,” he said, and he’d really expected that he might have to use a little wheedling and persuasion, a little finesse, as it were, but Finn opened right up and took him in, nearly making his skull explode with wet-hot-good-Finn-fucking-hell. He choked off all the embarrassing words that he really wanted to say in this singularly wonderful moment through the simple expedient of shoving Finn’s cock back in his mouth, and then they were off and running.
The height difference was too much for it to be easy, but that turned out to be a good thing because otherwise Kurt didn’t think there was a single chance he would have lasted more than five seconds-not with Finn’s giant, hot hands sliding silkily over his ass and Finn’s mouth sucking him down and taking and taking more and just letting him do every filthy hip-swivelly thing his perverse mind could come up with.
He rocked into Finn’s mouth and sucked Finn’s swollen cock until his whole jaw ached, and then he kind of lost his mind a little because without even asking he soaked two fingers with spit and stroked them slowly, teasingly over the tight, pink bud of Finn’s ass-which was when everything went seriously crazy because Finn spread for him and also copied him and Kurt pushed above and below and took and gave and his ass might as well have been the tip of his cock for how sensitive it was, nerves sparking and everything firing at once and his hips jerking out of control, and he was really, really fucking busy for one hot minute before he came with Finn throbbing around his fingers and shooting right down his throat, so good, unbelievably good, like he had no fucking idea that life could contain that much goodness-only really, he probably should have stopped to breathe a little, because that was when he passed out.
When he came to, Finn was staring at him with a combination of awe and concern. “Dude,” Finn husked, his voice gravelly, “you passed out.”
“You made me come so hard,” was the first thing that squeaked out of his mouth, and that wasn’t what he meant to say, but from the blush on Finn’s cheeks, it didn’t look like it bothered him much.
Finn snuggled close, wrapping him up. “Um. Do you mind, uh, kissing? I mean-after what we just-”
Kurt kissed him, hard and wet and as long as he could, only this time he remembered to breathe when his vision started going funny. “No,” he sighed. “I don’t mind.”
“Good,” Finn said, nuzzling him sleepily. “God-blowjobs are exhausting.”
“Mm-hm.”
Finn kissed him just below the ear. Kurt shivered. “But awesome.”
“Oh, yeah.” Kurt let his eyes start to drift closed.
“Kurt?” Finn threw a leg over him, and God help him, it was like being humped by a shaved bearskin rug.
“Mm?”
“I just wanted to say…”
The pause was long enough that Kurt cracked an eye open. Finn was staring at him, and the look on his face was almost indescribable, his cheeks bright pink, his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. “I just wanted you to know…”
Kurt put his hand right in the middle of Finn’s chest, felt his heart racing, and smiled. “Let me guess-I made you come really hard too, right?”
Finn actually laughed, a soft, zingy, loopy laugh that Kurt thought he could hear every day and never get tired of. “Yeah,” Finn said, pulling him close again. “That’s what I was gonna say. That was it.”
“Thought so,” said Kurt, and closed his eyes.
~End~