Congratulations Chapter 2
Jensen was setting up his shot when the nausea set in; he had just finished a salad the P.A. had gotten him from craft services and now he was going to have to wait until the set was cleaned before he could start shooting. Unless he passed out, he wasn’t going to worry about why he had thrown up, because he couldn’t afford to get sick. Jared would be home in four weeks and he wanted to have this in the can by then so he could take two weeks to get reacquainted with Jared before he started post-production.
He didn’t understand how he’d caught a bug, because he was usually careful about his health and had been since the third season of Supernatural when there’d been a nasty bug going around and he’d caught it. He hadn’t known that he was pregnant and the antibiotics he’d taken had caused him to miscarry. This time, there wasn’t a chance of a miscarriage, but he didn’t want to get sick and behind schedule.
“If I’d have known that this was the greeting I was going to get when you told me to visit you on set, I’d have stayed at home and watched my kid throw up,” came the sarcastic reply from behind him.
“Yeah Chad, I know that looking is all you’d do because Kenzie would be the one cleaning it up.” Jensen said as he rinsed his mouth out with bottled water.
“Whatever,” was Chad’s intelligent reply.
“What are you doing here anyway?” Jensen asked.
“I had some reshoots on the next soundstage, and since I was here I thought I’d keep an eye on you like I told Jay-man I would. Besides, he’d do the same for me.”
“As a grown-ass man, I resent that. I think I can manage just fine on my own.” Jensen complained, “Besides, fucker, I’m not Jared’s wife.”
“Oh… so Jay-man bottoms then?”
“You do realize that this is my set and I can have you thrown off it, right?” Jensen threatened.
“Yeah, okay Mr. Big-time-might-be-nominated-for-an-Oscar-director.” Chad offered a backhanded compliment.
Jensen watched the crew as they cleaned up the set, and knowing that it was going to take more than a few minutes, he led Chad to his trailer-cum-office.
“Okay Chad, why are you really here?” Jensen asked, “I don’t understand why Jared would have you check up on me all of a sudden, and the word ‘baby’ had better not come out of your fucking mouth.”
Chad’s silence was his answer.
“Why would he do this? I thought we had settled this before he left.”
“Maybe because he’s scared of what he’ll come home to, Jen,” Chad softly answered. “Will he be spending his time comforting you, or being your partner?”
“You know what Chad, this is between Jared and me. We’ll talk about it when he gets back home.”
“Sure man, I understand” Chad said as he stood up to go, “but where do you think he goes for comfort and reassurance? Look, let’s have dinner tonight and talk.”
“Not tonight. I want to finish this shoot tonight so that I can take some time off when Jared gets home. How about lunch tomorrow, noon.”
“Lunch is good,” Chad agreed.
Jensen finished the shoot. It took him until three a.m. to complete, but in the end, he was satisfied with what he had. He was so tired, more so than usual and was tempted to call Chad and cancel lunch, but the asshole would just track him down, so he decided it would be easier to just show up and get it over with.
When Jensen woke the next morning, he felt off kilter, and when he rolled from the bed, he suddenly became so dizzy that he had to sit down. When he looked at the clock, it read ten-thirty. It was really too late to eat breakfast since he was going to meet Chad for lunch, but he needed to eat something, so he settled for toast, fruit and coffee. After he had eaten the light breakfast he felt relief from the dizzy spells.
By the time he met up with Chad at the restaurant, Jensen was still just as tired as he had been the night before, and if he hadn’t known better, he’d have sworn that he’d never made it to bed. He felt like he did when he and Jared used to stay up all night drinking. Chad was waiting for him when he arrived.
“What the hell is wrong with you? ‘Cause I gotta tell you, you look like shit, man,” Chad told him in lieu of a greeting.
“Thanks,” Jensen snarked, “I woke up feeling like crap and it hasn’t gotten any better.”
“You’re sweating worse than Jared,” Chad pointed out.
“Order me something cold to drink while I go to the head,” Jensen demanded as he stood up. Or rather, he tried to stand, but another wave of dizziness hit him and he fell back into his chair.
“Jensen?” Chad asked, worry coloring his voice.
“I’m fine. Just feeling a bit off today,” Jensen reassured his friend. “I think I may be coming down with whatever was going around the set, and if you remember, I threw up yesterday.”
“Like I’m going to forget that,” Chad shook his body in disgust. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I think that I just need to get some food in me,” Jensen reassured his friend. He hoped that was all it was because he knew that if he didn’t look better by the end of their lunch, Chad was going to call Jared and make him worry for nothing.
Chad signaled the server over and Jensen stood to remove the jacket he was wearing, because he was ungodly hot, as well sweaty. He wanted to go to the men’s room and put some cold water on his face, but he didn’t trust his shaky legs to get him there.
“What can I get you to drink?” the server asked.
“Water for now,” Jensen decided while Chad ordered a beer. Once he drank the water, Jensen actually felt himself beginning to feel better, cooling off, and by the time he had eaten half of his lunch, Chad remarked on the fact that his color was almost normal and he wasn’t sweaty anymore.
“Now, what’s this about Jared coming to you about for comfort, Chad?” Jensen asked as he reached for the glass of water.
“You come in here looking as though you’re about to die, and you’re worried about what Jared confided in me?”
“I’ll live,” Jensen guaranteed the blonde. “You shouldn’t have brought it up if you didn’t want to discuss it, and besides, if it were Kenzie, wouldn’t you want to know?”
“Look all I’m saying is that Jared had a hard time as well. You were always upset because you couldn’t have a baby, and he was upset because he couldn’t give you one. I told him repeatedly to talk to you, but he wouldn’t because he didn’t want to upset you further. It was as though you two could talk about anything, as long as it wasn’t baby related.” Chad explained.
“I never blamed him,” Jensen said.
“I know, you blamed yourself, and he blamed himself, but it was no one’s fault,” Chad agreed. “When that bitch took the baby he was through; he just couldn’t do it anymore, and didn’t want you to either, but he didn’t know how to convince you to stop.”
Jensen had really thought that the day the judge ruled against them in favor of the surrogate mother and her husband was the darkest day of his life. Neither he nor Jared had entertained the thought that the judge would rule against them, because it was their baby. They had prepared a room for her, bought new clothes and toys, and had even picked out a school for her. The DNA proved that Jensen and Jared were the biological parents that the surrogate had only gestated the baby for them, but somewhere between the implanting of the embryos and the birth, she had changed her mind about giving up the baby and the court case had dragged on for four years.
Four years that she and her spouse had bonded with their child and the judge ruled that it would be unfair to tear the child, Amanda, away from the only home she’s ever known. He’d also ruled that it would be confusing for her to have three fathers, so they were stripped of all rights and left with nothing but a photo.
That was the point when he actually realized that there would be no baby for them. The tests and the books were such a habit that he had done it by rote, not from the actual desire to get pregnant anymore. It had taken Jared’s ultimatum for him to stop trying.
“You can always borrow mine,” Chad volunteered. “It’ll give me and Kenzie time to practice making another, ‘cause honestly, the little bastards are nothing but cock-blockers.”
“You’re an ass, Chad. How did you ever convince a woman to let you touch her, let alone have your babies?” Jensen laughed, knowing that he would borrow those little girls anytime.
The beauty of being a director was that if your films made money, you could choose who you wanted to work with, and Jensen’s last six films had been top moneymakers. There were two scenes in the movie that he’d wanted Chris to write and record songs for. What he hadn’t counted on was being talked into writing them along with his friend.
They had been working for hours, and actually ended up writing four songs instead of the two they had set out to write. With each song that they completed, Jensen loaded up a new scene and they were both inspired to write more. Jensen had intended to get other artists on the soundtrack, but with the quality of the songs that they were writing, it would be just Chris. And who knows? He might be convinced to lend his voice to a song or two.
The clock on the wall told Jensen that it was almost nine. They had started this session at one, and Jensen realized that was probably why he was so hungry. The two of them had been at it for hours with nothing but water and some fruit.
“Why don’t you order us something to eat while I try to pull this lyric out of my head?” Jensen asked Chris.
Jensen turned back to his guitar and strummed a couple of chords, before the lyrics he had been wracking his brain for magically appeared in his head and he jotted them down. Satisfied with what he’d written, Jensen began to play again when, suddenly, there was a roaring in his ears, he broke out into a sweat, and he became so hot that he felt like stripping.
As he tried to continue to play his guitar, his fingers felt heavy and clumsy. He was just strumming them against the chords, making a noise so awful that Chris ran back into the room. He couldn’t focus on Chris, because he’d become lightheaded and he slumped back in his chair as he passed out.
His head hurt and his mouth was dry. When he moved, he was dizzy as hell. He knew was he on the sofa, but he didn’t remember how he got there. The last thing he remembered was writing with Chris.
“…looks like he’s coming to, Jared,” he heard Chris say.
“Fuck,” he thought. Now Jared was going to be worried because he’d caught some bug.
“Phone, Jensen,” Chris said as he handed the man on the sofa his cell. “Don’t be giving me that look. I’m not the one who passed out so talk to your man and get it over with.”
“Jared, hi,” Jensen greeted tentatively as he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck.
“What’s going on, Jen?” Jared asked, his tone allowing no argument.
“Nothing’s wrong, Jared,” Jensen slurred, as he shot a dirty look at Chris. “I just got a little lightheaded from not eating all day, s’all.”
“I suppose that’s what was wrong while you were eating lunch with Chad too?” Jared demanded.
“I… don’t know Jared. There were several people on the set who came down with some bug. That’s what I’m placing my money on. Jared, I’m fine, I promise,” Jensen assured him.
“You’re all I have, Jensen. I need to know that you’re okay if…when I’m gone.”
As he talked to Jared, Chris answered the ringing doorbell, and came back with several bags holding their food.
“Our food just arrived, so I’m sure that Chris will channel his inner Eliot Spencer and make sure that I eat.”
“I’ll worry less if you eat and go see the doctor.”
“Jay, I don’t think…”
“The doctor, Jen,” Jared interrupted.
“Okay, I’ll go, but you do realize that it’s too late tonight for me to get an appointment, right? It’ll have to be tomorrow,” Jensen said.
“Tomorrow then,” Jared grudgingly agreed.
Once he ended the call with Jared, Jensen looked at Chris, “Why did you call him Chris? It’s not like he could do anything when he’s in another fucking country.”
“Well excuse me, but I didn’t know what was wrong when you were doing your damsel-in-distress act.” Chris shrugged his shoulders. “So sue me for caring.”
Jensen got up from the sofa and went to the kitchen to grab some plates and utensils so they could eat. While Chris opened the containers of food, Jensen turned on the television, just to have some background noise.
Instantly, Jared’s voice filled the room and Jensen looked up immediately. It was one of those entertainment shows. Jared was at some party in London where he was currently filming his latest movie. Jensen was about to turn away, but the person standing next to Jared caught his eye. It was the young actor -Jensen couldn’t even remember his name- who was co-starring with Jared in his latest movie, and had co-starred with him in his last movie as well.
“Do you… Never mind.” Jensen shook his head as though that would dismiss the thought that had suddenly entered his mind.
“Spit it out Jensen, and get it over with,” Chris told him. “If you don’t, you’re just gonna let it fester until you believe it’s true.”
“Do you think that Jared is cheating on me?” he mumbled around the food he’d stuffed into him mouth.
“Why would you think something stupid like that?” Chris asked, not bothering to hide how shocked he was at the question.
“Jared has been gone for nine months Chris, nine,” he explained. “While he was filming in Italy, he worked with some new actor, and was so impressed that he got him a part in this new movie. Should I be worried?”
“This isn’t the first time you two have been apart because of filming, Jensen,” Chris reminded him.
“No, but it’s the first time we’ve been apart this long.” Jensen explained “It’s funny. When he was here I kept thinking it was like we were having kind of a second honeymoon. But what if he was saying goodbye?”
“Stop thinking shit like that,” Chris warned. “He’ll be home in a couple of weeks and things will be back to normal.”
Growing concerned, Jensen watched as Jared bent down so the much younger actor could whisper something into his ear. He thought about what Chris had just told him, and hoped that his friend’s words were true. He was staring at the screen when the channel was suddenly changed.
“You’re just borrowing trouble with those thoughts, Jensen. Jared loves you, remember that,” Chris suggested.
“He’s a Carrier,” Jensen softly told him, “Jared told me he was shortly after they first met. I can’t even remember the boy’s name.”
“Jensen…” Chris warned.
“Okay, what’s new with you and Steve? It’s been a while since we’ve all been together.” Jensen asked in an attempt to change the subject.
“Well, there is something I’ve wanted to tell you. It’s kind of hard, but I really can’t put if off for much longer,” Chris began.
“You’re not sick are you?” Jensen’s concern for his friend overtook his belief that Jared was having an affair.”
“No, no nothing like that, it’s just… well you know Steve and I had started looking into adoption a few years back, right? It was during the Amanda ordeal.”
“Yeah, I remember,” Jensen said, trying to keep the sadness from creeping into his voice.
“Well, our attorney called us a couple of months ago. There are these three kids, siblings, two boys and a girl. The parents are in jail, and because they’re bi-racial, the mom’s family doesn’t want them. Social services are trying to keep them together, but no one wants all three and we do.” Chris admitted.
Jensen sat back and looked at his friend. He never thought about how his desire to have a family had affected their friends and the choices they made. This should be the happiest time in Steve and Chris’s lives and they were worried about his feelings. He felt like a selfish idiot.
“Tell me about your family, Chris.” Jensen requested, and just listened as Chris smiled and effused about the three kids that had stolen his heart.
Chris decided to stay, because somewhere along the way, they got beer to celebrate the new additions to their growing circle of family and he was in no shape to drive home. Jensen knew that Chris also wanted to make sure that Jensen was okay. Chris spent the rest of the evening trying to convince Jensen that he and Jared should try adoption. Jensen just shook his head no. He had resigned himself to the fact that they weren’t destined to have kids, because it seemed that every time they’d tried it ended in disaster. It was okay though, because it looked as though there were going to be three more little ones he could spoil.
Later that night as Jensen settled into his bed, he looked over at the empty spot beside him and missed Jared. Thomas Dekker, Jensen thought, that was the Carrier’s name. He didn’t think he would forget that name again.
The next morning Jensen called the doctor’s office and found that they’d had a cancelation so they could see him that afternoon. After having blood drawn and peeing in a cup, he listed all of his symptoms to the doctor who explained that he might be going through a Carrier’s version of menopause.
“Wow, so not the flu or some other bug then?” Jensen asked as he tried to hide his emotions. The choice of potentially trying again was being taken out of his hands once and for all. There would be no babies for him.
“I’m not one-hundred percent sure, but we sent the blood work to be analyzed. Some of the easier tests we can do here and the nurse will bring the results in a few minutes. In the meantime, look at these pamphlets. They’ll explain what we can do to make this transition easier for you.”
The nurse walked in and gave the doctor a sheet of paper that he assumed were the results.
“Hmm,” the doctor said, turning again to his wall of pamphlets before bringing his attention back to Jensen and smiling, “Looks like you’re going to need these instead.” He handed Jensen the new pamphlet.
Jensen looked at the pamphlet and read, So you’re Expecting.
Oh, god he was pregnant.
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