This was a myspace Blog but I'm putting it in here too
The way I see it is you should treat others the way you would like to be treated... and that is exactly what I do. Yes, I am judgemental, but who isn't? I dont go up to people and tell them I think they are a scumbag or a slut, I almost always keep my thoughts to myself or i will say something to someone I am with, NEVER direclty to the person being judged... which others should also think about.
But latley I see that I have abused this. I do nothing but treat people with the most respect even if they do or do not deserve it. I am not a mean person at all and what do I get for this... nothing. From adults I get looked at as a very mature and caring person for my age. From others close to me, I am used and stepped on because they know that even if I do care they know they can be sure that 99.9% of the time I will not say how I feel to them about the situation. All that is about to change.... I hope....
But this person I want to become ... It's not ME... I am so accustomed to being used and stepped on that I dont know how to change ME. I dont know how to be a different person. Then I start to think why change? I like being nice... I like being there for people, Its who I am but still there are those few people that I hold so high on a pedestal that they just expect me to be nice all the time and then they dont have to worry about me saying anything to them.... I HATE IT!!!!!
SO, therefor, I am going to do my best to change for the better. If people want to talk to me they can call me I have a cell and for now im still at home so ...
cell: 520-7848 House: 527-6253
I have an email address : u2lufituaeb@gmail.com write me.... I'll write you back
You obviously know that I'm on here (I have a myspace http://www.myspace.com/cilla_17)
and my screenname for AOL is : cmdrcrayfish321 .... IM, I'll take the time talk to you.
I want people to hold me up on a pedestal and to care about me , I want to be important to others, I want to be needed by others not just someone thats there.... So therefor people are gonna have to work to get my respect and I want people to deserve me instead of me feeling like I don't deserve the people in my life. I'm not trying to be a bitch and i hope to God that I don't sound like one ... I'm just trying to get what I deserve.. something that I have always pushed away.... I don't want to feel they way I have been feeling anymore and the changes start NOW!!
love and peace to all....
~Cilla
But latley I see that I have abused this. I do nothing but treat people with the most respect even if they do or do not deserve it. I am not a mean person at all and what do I get for this... nothing. From adults I get looked at as a very mature and caring person for my age. From others close to me, I am used and stepped on because they know that even if I do care they know they can be sure that 99.9% of the time I will not say how I feel to them about the situation. All that is about to change.... I hope....
But this person I want to become ... It's not ME... I am so accustomed to being used and stepped on that I dont know how to change ME. I dont know how to be a different person. Then I start to think why change? I like being nice... I like being there for people, Its who I am but still there are those few people that I hold so high on a pedestal that they just expect me to be nice all the time and then they dont have to worry about me saying anything to them.... I HATE IT!!!!!
SO, therefor, I am going to do my best to change for the better. If people want to talk to me they can call me I have a cell and for now im still at home so ...
cell: 520-7848 House: 527-6253
I have an email address : u2lufituaeb@gmail.com write me.... I'll write you back
You obviously know that I'm on here (I have a myspace http://www.myspace.com/cilla_17)
and my screenname for AOL is : cmdrcrayfish321 .... IM, I'll take the time talk to you.
I want people to hold me up on a pedestal and to care about me , I want to be important to others, I want to be needed by others not just someone thats there.... So therefor people are gonna have to work to get my respect and I want people to deserve me instead of me feeling like I don't deserve the people in my life. I'm not trying to be a bitch and i hope to God that I don't sound like one ... I'm just trying to get what I deserve.. something that I have always pushed away.... I don't want to feel they way I have been feeling anymore and the changes start NOW!!
love and peace to all....
~Cilla